How old were you when your Mum died?

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Sorry to be so morbid. I am just interested to know how old people were when their Mum died and how they handled the situation?

24 and I wasn’t ready, she had a brain aneurysm, she was 52. I’m now 58 and I still think about her a lot everyday.

For all you women who were young loosing your Mam heartfelt sympathy if that’s the right word. My friend died a couple of years ago leaving a 13 & 15 year old & I was so sorry for those 2 girls.

My mam died 3 years ago during Covidwhen we weren’t allowed see her for 2 months. I was early 50s, she was 80. I was heartbroken at how she died all alone. Sad because I felt I was only getting to know her as a person.

it must be so hard to loose your mam young, you grew from her body. Even if you didn’t get on its s primal Connection

I was 45. She had a horrid death that I would not wish on anyone. That process was harder than the eventual grief.

I was 14. She had been poorly (liver failure through alcoholism) for about 12 months really and I had thought about it happening but hoped when she ended up in hospital that she was going to get better at last...how naive.

The last time I saw her awake she was being taken into the ambulance on a wheelchair. I don't recall how long she was in hospital but I only saw her in hospital once after she went in, but she was asleep and she didn't want us (my sibling and I) to see her looking so poorly, so dad didn't take us again.

I miss her and I will always, always love her, I think she'd absolutely adore her granddaughters if she was alive now (and well).

It was 31 years ago and I am sad to say that I can't remember what her voice sounded like 😔, but various memories I have I treasure.

My dad was and is amazing for coping with everything and bringing up me and my sister.

I was 39 she was 74. I’d been NC for 11 years beforehand due to her alcoholism and her mental health issues. I never went to the funeral and it never affected me as I’d been in therapy for years due to her behaviour. My MIL died 4 years ago and I miss her every day, she was an amazing woman and the mum I always wished I’d had 🥰

I was 20, now 36. Obviously I was really sad at the time but there was a few years in the middle where I’d have said I was sort of ‘over it’, as much as you can be. But I’m much sadder about it again since having my first child 5 years ago. I hate that she will never meet any of her grandchildren and I can never go to her for advice. I never had that adult bond with her.

18 😔

DH was 26 when he lost his Mum to cancer. She died aged 56 and had fought it since he was 15. That was 23 years ago now, and he's always been pretty stoic about it (I'm guessing maybe because she'd been so unwell for so long, so he'd prepared himself?). He's always been a bit sad that she didn't live to see any grandchildren.

Both of my parents lost their Mums aged 5 and 9 months back in the 50's. I think Mum coped with it better than dad, but she was a baby when her Mum died

56 she was 84, you wouldn't have thought so as she was fit and active.
She felt poorly, went to GP, referred to hospital and diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, I moved in with her, WFH at her house, she died when I wasn't here, it haunts me

37, mum was 68. She collapsed at home and an undiagnosed brain tumour was found. She was in a coma when I made it back from where I was working overseas, and never woke up - dying just before Christmas.

I was 19 at the time - my mother 48 - from an accident - thought I was coping but 10 years after that my nan died and them it hit me and kicked off anxiety related problems as a result of the trauma- have had counselling - still ongoing now in my 50’s!

2 days old. My dad raised me, he died when I was 39, it utterly devastated me, I struggle to cope now 3 years on.

68. It was a long time coming, pretty much expected, and it was a relief in more ways than one. She was a very difficult and unpleasant person.

I was 23, she was 54. It ruined my 20s and changed my life and changed me. I cannot think about the fact that I will never see my mum again, never talk to her - it makes me feel dizzy at the idea of her being dead for the rest of forever.

I agree with the poster who said it feels like having a mum was like something that happened to someone else in another life. Of course I remember her and treasure my memories but she is faded now and it just all feels a life time ago. I am now 44 so have lived nearly half my life without her.

I am so sad she didn't get to meet her grandchildren, I think of her all the time and how things could have been.

I was 10 and was so traumatised I chose never to have children. I was diagnosed with cancer last September so I definitely made the right decision.

Same here. I adored my MIL. She taught me by example, how to be a mother and grandmother. I miss her terribly. My mum died a few months ago. I felt, and feel nothing.

41 and I still miss her every single day, five years on.

Felt like I was in the netherworld for a long time afterwards and losing her has made me reappraise many of my relationships for some reason. Still have my Dad but he’s very busy enjoying his “new” life and doesn’t have much time for us any more so that important relationship also feels like it fractured with the loss of my Mum.

53. She was 89. She had deteriorated rapidly after a second fall at 87, and had also a chronic blood disease. It was her time.

I was 29, and it was fairly sudden. One month from her diagnosis, until she passed away. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through, but in one way it's been the making of me. We were exceptionally close and I still lived with her. With hindsight, we were a bit too codependent. I'm doing ok now, and it will have been 10yrs since her death next month. I've now got my own house and a daughter. Life is good, but I still miss her every day.

I was 38 and it was very sudden. She was only 66 and seemed in pretty good health. That was 9 years ago and I'm still not over it and have waves of sadness usually at night when I'm trying to sleep . It does get easier to cope with though but I'll never be the same again. I found the first year after her death the worst, but certain dates and things get me and I'm tearful again. You have no choice but to carry on. I know that she would want me to enjoy my life so I try to.

31
I really did believe I could never cope without my mum and then she just died on me suddenly, and then had my second child etc without a mother and it is absolute pure shite ! But surprisingly you do cope. Or rather, you get used to how shit it is.

17, but I have never really missed her, as she was never part of my adult life. Life changes so much at 18 anyway, that my adult life just formed without her in it, and without a gap where she would have been.

I do sometimes wonder, out of curiosity, what it would have been like to have a conversation with her adutl to adult.

My mum is still going strong at 90. I’m 58. But I’m likely to die before her.

I was 17 she had been in hospital for most of the time since I was 25 so I had to take over running the house with my sister - doing all the shopping, cleaning, cooking etc. I missed her all the time but especially when I had my own children. I'm now older than she was when she died and that feels very odd

15 not 25