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I talked to mum this morning. She was gone this afternoon.
215

Darkpheonix · 02/12/2021 19:39

Hi, I don't know why I am posting. My kids are devastated, dp doesn't know what to say.

She was fine til a few weeks ago. We booked theatre tickets to her favourite show for next year. Then she struggled to breath and go diagnosed with asthma.

Today, I spoke to her. She had opened door number 2 on the Advent calendar I got her. It was a conditioner. She was going to wash her hair and use it.

Before she got to the shower, she couldn't breathe. Dad got her inhaler but it didn't help and he called an ambulance. They arrived quickly, she collapsed and stopped breathing and they couldn't get her back.

I walked into their house and she was gone. She was in bed, the ambulance people still there.

I have had to phone family. Dad is worrying that she had a hair appointment booked and I can't get hold of her hair dresser to cancel.

Dad's broken. I am just sat feeling numb. I should be in pain and know it will probably come. But I don't want it to. I want to be numb forever.

I keep getting upset over the Advent calendar that will remain unopened from today. It was meant for her to treat herself. To pamper herself. And now it's just there.

I don't know what to do. I don't how she was here and then she wasn't. I miss her already.

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mineofuselessinformation · 02/12/2021 20:36

You will find your way through this.....
It will take time. (I'm not suggesting you will be 'over it' in any way.)
What you are feeling is ok. Other feelings will come and they are ok too.
Be kind to yourself. Talk to people who are supportive about how you are feeling - it helps.
I'm very sorry that you are in this situation. Thanks

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ArblemarchTFruitbat · 02/12/2021 20:37

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers.

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Geamhradh · 02/12/2021 20:38

Oh bless you. Flowers

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fuckyourpronouns · 02/12/2021 20:39

So so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mum @Darkpheonix 💔💔

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PraiseTheSunshine · 02/12/2021 20:40

I am so sorry op Flowers it is normal to feel numb, you're in shock. Sending love to you and your family x

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Workinghardeveryday · 02/12/2021 20:41

@Darkpheonix I am so sorry about your mum, what a terrible shock for all of you. Thinking of you xxx

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Whatinthelord · 02/12/2021 20:41

Oh what an awful and tough day for you.
Not sure what else to say. I’m just really sorry!!

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user1493494961 · 02/12/2021 20:44

I'm so sorry, thinking of you and your family.

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RicherThanYew · 02/12/2021 20:44

Hi Op, I lost my mum, dad and sister in sinilar circumstances so I can honestly say that the shock will knock the wind out of you for a while. Nobody reminded me to eat/drink/sleep as and when possible so I'm telling you Flowers if you ever need a rant you cam inbox me. You have my sincere condolences.

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Dwrcegin · 02/12/2021 20:44

I'm so sorry OP Flowers

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coodawoodashooda · 02/12/2021 20:44

I am so sorry.

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toomuchlaundry · 02/12/2021 20:45

I am so sorry Flowers

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crochetmonkey74 · 02/12/2021 20:47

I am so sorry OP . I know this surreal feeling xxx sending you much love xx

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StewPots · 02/12/2021 20:47

I’m so so sorry for your loss xxx

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RainbowZebraWarrior · 02/12/2021 20:48

Oh my goodness. What an awful shock for you. I don't have any words, except to say that you've started this thread and everyone who has commented so far will have it in their watched threads. Some of us will be here at all hours. There will always be someone here to hold your hand in your darkest hours. Just keep posting anything you need to. Hugs xx

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Thurlow · 02/12/2021 20:49

Oh my lovely, I am so sorry. As others have said, there's absolutely no right or wrong thing to do or feel. Be kind to yourself xx

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TatianaBis · 02/12/2021 20:49

So sorry OP Flowers

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Mogloveseggs · 02/12/2021 20:49

I'm so sorry Flowers

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Mammma91 · 02/12/2021 20:50

I’m so sorry OP, may your mum rest in piece Flowers

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ForeverFaithless · 02/12/2021 20:50

Flowers I'm so sorry, no words can help

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Dontjudgeme101 · 02/12/2021 20:51

I am so sorry for you and your family. 💐💐💐💐

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TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder · 02/12/2021 20:51

Ah, I’m sorry for you and for your loss. My Dad died just over a month ago, unexpectedly, and I’d already got his Christmas present and card - and his birthday present and card, as it was New Year - and now they’re just sitting here and I don’t know what to do with them. I’m still in a state of not quite believing it’s all happening yet. I though the funeral would judge me in to acceptance, but that was last week and I’m still not sure of what’s going on yet. It’s going to take me some time I imagine, and it will take you time too. In the meantime, go gently, don’t put pressure on yourself to think and feel things just because you think you should, be peaceful Flowers

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Icewiththat · 02/12/2021 20:54

I’m so sorry. Sending you so
Much love and strength Flowers

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HarrisonStickle · 02/12/2021 20:56

Aw, OP and @TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder

Sending you both hugs. Flowers

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Darkpheonix · 02/12/2021 20:58

Thank you all. Its amazing how kindness of you all, bring somes comfort.

Sorry I can't find the post from the person that said the tankard became a focal point. That's what the Advent calendar is.

I have been a skint single parent. The kast 2 years have really turned around, if was the first year for ages that I could afford a present that showed her how important to me.

I ordered it months ago. I was so excited to give her it. She cried when she opened it.

She did an Advent calendar, for all 4 grandkids every year. A reusable one. That had small gifts or a £1 in. That's why I picked an Advent calendar. To return the favour. 25 days of small gifts.

It the one time I thought I got the perfect present

I do have an older brother who is supporting. She did have a large family they will give support. But ss much as I love them, they are all quite loud and overwhelming. I just can't face them at the moment.

She married my dad twice. They divorced she remarried and divorced again and then for back together with my dad. He is keeps mentioning the missing years. Their marriage wasn't perfect. But it worked. He is only in his 60s. I wish I had room here for him.

Theres plenty of support though, when I am ready

But thank you for your kindness.

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