My partner killed himself today

[ForgedInFire]

We have 3 young children. One is only a baby. My username is after his favourite TV show and he was so excited to watch a new episode just last night. How is this possible. I haven't told my kids yet and I don't know how I am going to

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your and your kids' loss

Thank you for all your kind words. Waking up this morning is just a different kind of hell. I'm going to get in touch with a couple of organisations today because I just can't deal with the older kids not knowing

I’m so sorry, OP. I can only imagine the horror of telling the kids today. No advice but lots of love from an internet stranger.

I am so so sorry for you and your children. Absolutely devastating. Sending you some strength for today.

I'm so sad for you and the children. Shit, there really are no words, are there? I don't know you but I'm here to listen to you.

It's a different thing altogether, but a Matron in Paeds told me to be as honest as possible with telling kids about death (maybe not saying exactly how he died). That was when my mum died after a very short illness (she was almost like a second mum to my two DC, particularly my eldest). I've heard from other friends that Winston's Wish is amazing. And from friends who have lost their spouses young (six of my friends have died from cancer in the past 18months, most of whom had young children), they really found WAY (Widowed and Young) to be a great help.

Sending you so much strength xx

I found that first bit of the morning when you're still waking up and suddenly remember it wasn't a dream, it has in fact happened and this is reality to be the worst; if you managed to sleep at all.

Amazingly the world still turns and the sun still rises and the birds still sing every morning and how the fuck does that keep happening because your world has come to a standstill.

Wishing you strength for today. You will get through it one breathe at a time x x x

Thinking of you today. When I feel overwhelmed I find writing it down helps too. Unfortunately ds2 found ds1 so he knows what happened, however we will continue to explain it in terms of an undiagnosed illness which no one saw the signs of. Reach out to support for yourself too it's the only way I'm keeping even vaguely sane for ds2. Xxxx

I'm so sorry to hear of this and other posters' loss xx

@Makinglists

Thinking of you today. When I feel overwhelmed I find writing it down helps too. Unfortunately ds2 found ds1 so he knows what happened, however we will continue to explain it in terms of an undiagnosed illness which no one saw the signs of. Reach out to support for yourself too it's the only way I'm keeping even vaguely sane for ds2. Xxxx

That is incredibly sad I'm so sorry xx

There seems to be a million things to do and we just want to lie in bed

How awful for you and your family, l am so sorry for your loss.
Widowed and Young is a very helpful forum, you will get support on there with others in similar circumstances.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I am so incredibly sorry OP 💐
My heart goes out to you and your children. I hope you manage to find the strength you need to get through these dark days. Take it one day, one hour at a time.
Don't be scared to grieve. You can do this.

I'm so very sorry.

Everything will seem like a total blur right now and I totally get the wanting to lie on your bed all day. One minute, one hour at a time. It's heartbreaking.

Keep going

@ForgedInFire

There seems to be a million things to do and we just want to lie in bed

I think I would too. Unimaginable. I was thinking of you when I went to bed last night. I imagine a lot of us were. The old platitude of one day at a time probably holds true. Keep popping back if it helps. ((Hug))

Thank you. I really do appreciate all of the kind messages. I don't know how to live my life without him. We were together 10 years and I was only 19 when we got together. I've literally never navigated adult life without him and now I'm all alone with 3 children to raise

@ForgedInFire

Thank you. I really do appreciate all of the kind messages. I don't know how to live my life without him. We were together 10 years and I was only 19 when we got together. I've literally never navigated adult life without him and now I'm all alone with 3 children to raise

I can't imagine how that feels. You've grown up with him.

Are your family still helping with the children?

You only need to navigate today, today. Xx

@ForgedInFire hi hun, I've been trying to log in to the website but somethings not working and I can't get my messages on the app 😩

I know everything seems impossible right now but you will be ok. Don't try to do everything right now. There's no rush.

You should be honest with your children but just give them the basics, Daddy died yesterday.

I told mine Daddy died today and when they asked how I said he took his own life. They will have questions in their own time. The first few weeks is a blur to me now. I don't remember much but I know I was in panic mode for a few weeks.

I'm so sorry.

I lost a dear sibling to suicide. At the time, I thought I would never be happy again, but the pain lessens over the years, and for me, everything became OK again over time.

It's early days for you and I'm so sorry that this has happened Forged. It's so sad to hear everyone's stories. You and your children will keep him in your heart and your memory, so please talk about him often.

Be kind to yourself and your children as you will be feeling very vulnerable right now.

Hi Forged,
I know something about this and will send you a private message.

Hi Forged
Thinking of you today and your three children. This is a huge journey we are on at the moment surviving the next minute, then the next is all that matters. I don't know if it will get better but the minute by minute survival helps when I'm gripped by the terror of the situation. I've downloaded a book called the Irrelevant Guide to Grief (it's quite sweary so may not be your thing) but I'm finding some of it helpful when I need to ground myself if that makes sense. Love to you and your childrenxxx

💔💔💔💔💔for you💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Hey OP. I'm not going to ask how you are obvs but just wanted to pop back and say hello.

@Nohomemadecandles

Hey OP. I'm not going to ask how you are obvs but just wanted to pop back and say hello.

Thank you. I still can't quite believe this is my life now and my 3 kids will never see their dad again. I've received a lot of support but today is my first day just with my children since it happened and its very sad. The children have been coping remarkably well although the baby has become very clingy- not sure if that's because he misses his dad (who he adored) or a reaction to my grief.