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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My partner killed himself today

216 replies

ForgedInFire · 30/07/2021 20:45

We have 3 young children. One is only a baby. My username is after his favourite TV show and he was so excited to watch a new episode just last night. How is this possible. I haven't told my kids yet and I don't know how I am going to

OP posts:
Soberanne · 30/07/2021 22:43

I am so sorry for your loss.

Makinglists · 30/07/2021 22:49

Love to you.i lost my son 3 weeks ago to suicide. The pain is all consuming but friends are keeping me going. When I feel myself plummeting to the abyss I try to focus on the minute and surviving it, then the next minute. My thoughts and love to you - we can do thisxxx

LookingGlassMilk · 30/07/2021 22:49

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's so sad. I'm thinking of you and your children.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/07/2021 22:50

So sorry, OP, you must be in terrible shock and it won't seem real. We try to grasp comfort from where we can at awful times like this, and I guess the fact that it was probably a spur of the moment thing means that there's no way you could have known or prevented it and that he wasn't in his right mind. he wouldn't have been thinking rationally so there would have been no way he could have been weighing up whether what he had his in life was worth keeping going for or not. He was not in his right mind.

Newenw · 30/07/2021 22:50

So sorry Flowers

Herecomesthesun70 · 30/07/2021 22:51

So sorry. Love to you all Daffodil

Nohomemadecandles · 30/07/2021 22:52

I don't know what the right thing is to say but know I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine that pain and bewilderment. Flowers

Nohomemadecandles · 30/07/2021 22:53

@Makinglists

Love to you.i lost my son 3 weeks ago to suicide. The pain is all consuming but friends are keeping me going. When I feel myself plummeting to the abyss I try to focus on the minute and surviving it, then the next minute. My thoughts and love to you - we can do thisxxx
I'm sorry for your loss. Flowers
TragicKingdom · 30/07/2021 22:57

I'm so sorry. I haven't got anything helpful to say except I hope you get through this and have lots of love and support around you Flowersxxx

RampantIvy · 30/07/2021 22:57

So sorry for your loss Flowers

RampantIvy · 30/07/2021 22:58

And to all of you who have lost loved ones Flowers

DrBlackbird · 30/07/2021 22:59

Flowers Forged and to everyone who has lost someone dear through suicide.

sensiblesometimes · 30/07/2021 23:01
Flowers
Original poster
ForgedInFire · 30/07/2021 23:01

@Makinglists

Love to you.i lost my son 3 weeks ago to suicide. The pain is all consuming but friends are keeping me going. When I feel myself plummeting to the abyss I try to focus on the minute and surviving it, then the next minute. My thoughts and love to you - we can do thisxxx
My love to you as well. Sorry I'm finding it hard to think of words right now but my heart goes out to you xxx
OP posts:
Bear65 · 30/07/2021 23:02

You and your family are in my thoughts. Sending you love and strength for tomorrow x

Wantingtogetitright · 30/07/2021 23:03

Too many men :(
How do we stop this?

CCC2 · 30/07/2021 23:04

I'm so sorry for your loss. My partner took his own life 14 months ago. We have 2 kids together then aged 6 & 2. My heart breaks reading your post. Take any help you can get. One day at a time, sometimes one hour or minute. My only advise would be try to be as honest as you can with your older child. I wasn't initially and then I had to tell her weeks later, in an age appropriate way.

My heart goes out to you💔

PrincessConsuela12 · 30/07/2021 23:08

I am so sorry OP Thanks I can't imagine what you are going through but sending you strength for tomorrow x

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 30/07/2021 23:10

OP, I feel for you. My DH attempted this some years ago (and failed, but has been in dark places from time to time since than, and I feel so helpless)..
A counsellor told me that if someone wants to take their own life, they will do so regardless of what anyone else says, or doesn't say, or does, or doesn't do. That was a weight off my mind, and I hope it helps you too.
Flowers

percheron67 · 30/07/2021 23:11

What dreadful news for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mischance · 30/07/2021 23:15

I send you love and a hand hold.

Please remember that those who take their own lives are usually quietly determined about this and make sure that they do not leave signs that might alert those around them. The pain of severe depression is very hard indeed for others to understand; but the desperate need for that pain to stop can sometimes be overwhelming.

MrsSiba · 30/07/2021 23:17

So sorry for your loss, for you, your children, your family and for your partner who could only see peace in this way.

There are just no words in such sad circumstances. 💐

Cherryana · 30/07/2021 23:25

I am so sorry 💐

lastcall · 30/07/2021 23:31

I'm so very sorry for your loss, OP. Flowers

VenusTiger · 30/07/2021 23:31

OP I am so sorry to read your post, please don't go through this grief without someone to help you go through it and try to 'understand' it and do not blame yourself or your partner.
Can you seek out some counselling and work out what you will tell your children - you may find the advice is not to tell them the hows and whys until they're able to emotionally figure it out - for want of a better phrase.
I'm so sorry OP. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some time.
RIP to your partner.