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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My partner killed himself today

216 replies

ForgedInFire · 30/07/2021 20:45

We have 3 young children. One is only a baby. My username is after his favourite TV show and he was so excited to watch a new episode just last night. How is this possible. I haven't told my kids yet and I don't know how I am going to

OP posts:
WitchSharkadder · 30/07/2021 21:15

Oh my, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain, confusion and utter devastation you must be feeling. Please lean on your loved ones as much as you need to, all you need to do is focus on your children and your own grief right now.

Much love Thanks

Timetoreflect · 30/07/2021 21:15

OP an old school friend’s husband did the same 3 weeks ago, just an hour after she took a photo of them happy together. On the advice of another friend who was widowed in her 40’s to cancer, join some groups for young widows. You’ll get amazing support. I’m so sorry x

Original poster
ForgedInFire · 30/07/2021 21:15

Thank you everyone. I will have a look at those websites because I will have to tell them tomorrow I feel absolutely sick at the thought I keep going from crying to anger to disbelief. He had been depressed for a long time but he seemed fine yesterday and I can't make sense of it

OP posts:
prettypinkflamingo · 30/07/2021 21:16

I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you all Thanks

Rainbowqueeen · 30/07/2021 21:17

I am so so sorry. Please look after yourself.

Use the organisations other posters have listed for support
Sending you strength

Jerima · 30/07/2021 21:19

@ForgedInFire I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your children and family. In my experience once someone has made up their mind to take their life, they seem to be at peace. You kind of think " But they were the best they've been for ages yesterday" but I've found that's because they finally see a way out of their pain which they saw no end to before.

RandomMess · 30/07/2021 21:21
Thanks

Severe long term depression is so difficult to live with, I can understand his decision.

I hope you know there is nothing you could have done differently to have stopped it happening.

Original poster
ForgedInFire · 30/07/2021 21:22

Maybe Jerima but he was literally chatting to the kids about how he was going to take them swimming on holiday and they were so excited. It's so cruel. That's why I feel like it must have been a spur of the moment thing

OP posts:
Winnona · 30/07/2021 21:22

I am so sorry OP, you are stronger than you know.

gogohm · 30/07/2021 21:23

So sorry Thanks

Winstons wish may have resources to help you talk to your children, also your gp of course. Longer term there's specialist bereavement services aimed at children that young

regthetabbycat · 30/07/2021 21:23

I'm so sorry.

Hyppogriff · 30/07/2021 21:24

I am so so sorry.

Alfiemoon1 · 30/07/2021 21:24

Iam so sorry thinking of you all

Graffittiunderpass · 30/07/2021 21:24

I'm so so sorry OP, what an horrendous shock.

SheldontheWonderSchlong · 30/07/2021 21:25

I'm so very sorry for your loss Thanks

HummingBeeBox · 30/07/2021 21:25

I am so so sorry. That's just awful.

fl1pfl0p · 30/07/2021 21:26

I am so sorry for your loss. Flowers

Moonflower12 · 30/07/2021 21:26

I am so sorry. As PPs have said please do use Winstons Wish. I have had to use them n my professional life and they have been amazing. They do a book that is available in WH Smith or from them, called 'Beyond the Rough Rock' which deals specifically with children bereaved through suicide.

Standrewsschool · 30/07/2021 21:26

Sorry for your loss.

Elderflower14 · 30/07/2021 21:28

I am so sorry for your loss... As others have suggested do contact WW. I know they do specific work with the children of suicide victims...
Sending you huge hugs x

Katypyee · 30/07/2021 21:28

I have no practical advice but I did not want to read and not respond.

I am so very sorry.

toocold54 · 30/07/2021 21:28

I’m so sorry to hear this OP!
Mental health is a truly awful illness. I don’t know how you are managing to keep it together. It makes it even more difficult that you have children.
I don’t actually know what to do in this situation but it may be helpful to give yourself a couple days to understand the shock before you tell the children.

abouquetofsharpenedpencils · 30/07/2021 21:32

So very, very sorry OP
Flowers

Gilly12345 · 30/07/2021 21:33

I am so sorry. 💐

Phyllis321 · 30/07/2021 21:37

How shocking and traumatic for you. I’m so sorry you have to experience this. Flowers

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