My darling son passed away

[dewisant2020]

I have joined Mumsnet to connect with people who may be in a similar situation as myself.
My DS passed away very recently completely unexpectedly.
Life has been a rollercoaster of emotions ever since, I can't even begin to write down how I feel, I am grieving so badly & days seem so bleak at the moment.
My DS was only 13 and completely healthy, he had his whole life ahead of him and for some reason that's been snatched from him and us.
I miss being his Mum, I miss his smell, his amazing sense of humour, I miss my old life. I wish with all my heart I could turn back time, I am full of so much sorrow and hurt.
I sit here and wonder if I will ever feel happiness again

Also sending you heartfelt sympathy today. I confess I find it difficult to even open this thread as it always reduces me to tears and, as a mother of sons, I simply cannot begin to imagine your pain.

I feel ashamed that I find it so difficult to even read about your grief when you are actually going through the reality of it. I hope you've had lots of real life support today and that the service provided you with at least a little comfort.

@dewisant2020 sending you and your family my love and prayers as your precious son takes his journey onward. Will be thinking of you all xxx

Your posts have bought tears to my eyes, I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Sending you lots of love and strength for today

Sending you love and strength

Thinking of you today. I hope you and your family are able to find some peace. Sending you all the love and strength in the world.

I hope today has been gentle on you x

@dewisant2020 thinking of you and your family today as you say goodbye to Matt in this life until you meet again.
Just holding you in my thoughts.

Thinking of you today @diswant2020

I am so very sorry to read about your DS thinking of you and your family 💔 xx

I am so sorry for your loss, just heart breaking to read and I am shedding tears for you and your daughter.

Thank you all for the well wishes & I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
We gave Matthew a good send off today, so many people came to say goodbye and all spoke so highly of Matt.
I felt so vulnerable today sat in the crematorium but my amazing family all helped me get through the day.
My DD was so strong today and it was evident to see the love she had for her little brother.
I know the hours, days & months ahead are going to be tough I just pray I can ride the storm.
We are staying at my Mums for a few days now I couldn't face going home to a empty bedroom.
It was all so final today and as left me with an uneasy feeling, it's hard to think that my DS is no longer here and today just reenforced that.
I'm not religious in anyway but I do pray my son will be okay and is being looked after.
I'm glad we all got through today and were able to go and say goodbye, up to the last minute I didn't think i'd be able to go.
I spent most of last night going through my sons life in my dream, like a flash back off his life it was such a weird feeling.
I hope we did him proud today xxx

@dewisant2020 I'm sure you did your darling boy proud.

No words tonight as I know only too well how you are feeling. Be gentle on yourself xx

You did .

Love and strength to you. I have no wise words but just wishing you love and strength xxx

I've no words that can help, but I'm so sorry for your loss.

You absolutely did him proud, he shines through in every post you write.

I am so sorry for your loss. Having recently lost my brother to the same thing, I can relate to the shock - but nothing compares to the death of a child. I am so sorry x

Thinking of you and your DD, I am sure you did your DS proud yesterday. Take good care of each other

It sounds as if everything you and your dd have done would have done him proud!

What a heartbreaking story. No wonder you are angry. It seems so unbearably cruel.

I'm sure you did give him a fitting tribute. I have been thinking about you and your family.

Please keep posting here in the days and weeks to come

So sorry for your loss and I'm sure you did him proud 💐❤️

This is so unbelievably sad.Do you want to tell us more about the funeral..or of course about your gorgeous son?xx

Morning all, A few days since my sons funeral now & I just feel very sad, very sad indeed.
I went through some off my sons stuff last night but couldn't continue, i'm certainly not ready for that yet, I feel like my right arms been torn off and someone's stabbed my in the heart.
My sons ashes will be returned to me this week, we are going to wait for the warmer weather and scatter him at the garden of rest, my DD would like us to get a memorial rose bush in the cemetery and I also think this would be a great idea later on.
I can't say i'm adjusting to life without my son I always expect him to walk through the door and straight to the fridge, a cheeky comment, fucking hell even a moody strop I yearn for.
Please never take your children for granted I never in my life imagined we'd be going through this, I always expected my children to outlive me.
I've had about a 100 sympathy cards given to me over the past few weeks and i've only just got around to reading them, tearing up with each one.
Today my and my DD are going to go into town for shop shopping and a bit of lunch I need to leave the house today I can't stand being in these 4 walls any longer.
xx