My darling son passed away

[dewisant2020]

I have joined Mumsnet to connect with people who may be in a similar situation as myself.
My DS passed away very recently completely unexpectedly.
Life has been a rollercoaster of emotions ever since, I can't even begin to write down how I feel, I am grieving so badly & days seem so bleak at the moment.
My DS was only 13 and completely healthy, he had his whole life ahead of him and for some reason that's been snatched from him and us.
I miss being his Mum, I miss his smell, his amazing sense of humour, I miss my old life. I wish with all my heart I could turn back time, I am full of so much sorrow and hurt.
I sit here and wonder if I will ever feel happiness again

Hi Op l am so so sorry about your devasting loss of your son.

Life can be such a bastard at times,
(sorry to swear)

I am a mother of a son as well as a daughter.

Please tell me us more about your son if you feel up it?if not now maybe later down the line.

Take care xxx

❤️

How you doing op. Sending you virtual hugs. Reading your posts the love you had for Matthew shines through. He was so lucky to have you as his mum. Take care xx

I’m so sorry, sending love to you, there are no words to express what you are going through.

I am so very sorry for your loss

God I just instantly cried. I'm so sorry. Please tell us about him

Just seen the date on your first post but hope you are doing ok

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you feel right now. I hope you have friends to talk to? You can always talk to us on here too. Sending hugs

I wanted to reach out and ask how you are? You are still so, so early in your grief, and I remember how horribly difficult and painful it is to lose a child and still need to keep going. It never leaves, it’s been 11 years for me since my son died, but eventually is does get softer (I won’t say easier, as it’s never easy).
I found this in a bereaved parents newsletter one time, and kept it. It brings me to tears every time I read it, but also speaks to my soul.

“When your child dies, you ask, among other questions, what is left? What can be left after such a crushing blow? Others will point out that you have a spouse, other children or grandchildren, perhaps relatives or friends; they are all left.
Perhaps you have a career that is left. And yet, how meaningless all of those are to a bereaved parent, to one who is suffering the most devastating loss of all. So you continue to search for what it is that is left.
You read books on bereavement, scarcely remembering what you have read; talk with others who have suffered a loss like yours. If you are fortunate, you have one or two good friends who, whilethey cannot fully understand, are there to love and listen. Perhapsthere is a therapist who guides you in your search for an answer.
But, for a long while everything you read or hear has little meaning and certainly cannot provide the answer to your question. Or can it? Does all that you have read and heard and experienced finally come together and answer the question of what is left?
For me it did. The answer was very long in coming, but how clear it came. I am left. That’s it. I am left and I have been left with the love of my child. It is a new love, it is different, more intense; and it is understanding. I love this love of my child. It warms and comforts me. It is a wonderful love. It is too precious to keep to myself. I am left with love to spare and love to share.
It will never run out. My child will always be with me to replenish it. I have found my answer. I am left to share my child’s love with you.”

Dearest dewisan, this is heart rending to read, we are crying with you. I pray that you will feel enveloped in love and that you will be given the strength to face each morning, for your beautiful son's sake. X