My darling son passed away

[dewisant2020]

I have joined Mumsnet to connect with people who may be in a similar situation as myself.
My DS passed away very recently completely unexpectedly.
Life has been a rollercoaster of emotions ever since, I can't even begin to write down how I feel, I am grieving so badly & days seem so bleak at the moment.
My DS was only 13 and completely healthy, he had his whole life ahead of him and for some reason that's been snatched from him and us.
I miss being his Mum, I miss his smell, his amazing sense of humour, I miss my old life. I wish with all my heart I could turn back time, I am full of so much sorrow and hurt.
I sit here and wonder if I will ever feel happiness again

Well another horrendous day, I hate feeling like this and crave the day I feel a bit better within myself if that will ever be possible.
Went to see the funeral director today and all is sorted in regards to my DS funeral which will be on the 5th March at 2.30, it seems
so final when I write it like that, it scares me that I know when that day arrives I will never be able to see my darling boy ever again (such a hard pill to swallow)

Apart from visiting the funeral director I haven't moved from the sofa, everything seems like so much effort and I just don't have much energy at the moment.
Any how i'm going to try and get some sleep now, it's been a LONG day xx

Sending love. I hope you can find some peace xx

no words any of can write can help but be assured there are people out there who can offer you support in the months ahead - bereavement counselling services specialising in children are across the country and churches offer a listening ear whatever your personal beliefs. I organise funerals as part of my job, it will be the hardest day of your life - but use the occasion to do what's right for you, don't allow others to dictate how it is planned. If you need any specific advice pm me, unfortunately I've organised many funerals for young people. It is common for fees to be waived btw

I’m so sorry for your loss and for everyone who has shared their stories here.

Well done for writing about your beautiful boy. If it helps then do keep writing. Thinking of you.

Hi @dewisant2020.

I’m so sorry you have lost your boy.

My little boy died 5 months ago in the same way as yours, fit and healthy and died in his sleep. No cause from the post mortem, it was classed as Sudden Unexpected Death in Childhood. There is an organisation called SUDC Foundation. They are based in the states. They have been very supportive and have an email and Facebook group for parents, quite a few have lost teenagers in this way.

Please feel free to PM me at any time to rant or talk. The lack of reason or explanation is so hard to deal with. The trauma of having found him is awful.

It has got slightly easier as time has passed. I’m glad you have your DD. Lots of love.

Thinking of you today @dewisant2020 x

My 14 year old gorgeous son was knocked down and killed nearly 3 weeks ago my heart is aching. I only had a daughter who celebrated her 18th birthday last week and my beautiful son and I miss him so much.

Fifa for you also.

Condolences @dewisant2020

I lost a friend in similar circumstances, I can still relive the moment I found her. Sadly I know of a few people with similar experiences when it's something no one should ever have to go through.

Cardiac Research in the young offer a bereavement service which you may find helpful.

www.c-r-y.org.uk/bereavement/

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.

Another bereaved parent here. My son died aged 18 nearly 6 years ago. He had a brain tumour.

I have another son. For a long time I lived purely for him. Then when he left for university I decided I had to live for myself too.

Time is your only ally. In time you get used to living and loving and laughing alongside that pit of grief.

I'm still floored by what happened to my son. Still have desperate days. But there is a lot of beauty still on my life. It takes a long time to see the beauty and, more importantly, allow yourself to enjoy the beauty.

I have met and made many friends through parental bereavement groups. There are times I lean heavily on them. There are times when I shy away from them.

You have to go at your own pace, find your own rhythm.

People said and still do say crass things to me. I silently rage at them whilst also admitting they say these things with a good heart.

I hope the days leading up to your sons funeral are as gentle as possible. One foot in front of the other.

Sending you and your DD love through the internet x

. No words can help really.
It's like joining the most horribliest club in the world. Oddly it has the most loveliest of people who really help.

Thinking of you and your family. Hope your daughter is OK and finds good support.

The worst nightmare, no one should have to endure this. I'm so sorry for your loss.

So very sorry to read all your heartbreaking posts. Thinking of you all and sending love. 💐💐

I am so terribly sorry OP. For you and the other mothers on the thread who have also lost children.

The worst of it is we still haven't heard anything from police and what is happening about the driver if he was speeding etc life can be so cruel 😭♥️💔💙

[flower] for aquisance also

..and anyone else who have lost a child.

I keep wanting to hug my teen as a result of this thread.

Lost my beautiful 17 year old son to cancer four years ago. Nursed him through a horrible death and sometimes it feels like yesterday; the pain is so engulfing and it feels so unfair. He was just getting into his stride. With you in your grief. Xx

I am so so sorry for your loss

My heart goes out to you all, I lost my father recently but that is nothing compared to what you all are or have gone through. Sending you all comforting hugs

@Fifi080575 @minmooch @Jankwrs1 @acquiescence I'm sorry you all lost your babies too, life is so very cruel ❤️

Well another long night, I've been to sleep on & off but kept having nightmares so i've decided to get up and have a cup of tea.
I felt myself searching for Matt today, even though I know he's gone I subconsciously kept thinking i'll tell Matt that in a minute, I wonder what Matts doing etc....
I've accepted today to allow myself to feel how I feel, I know life isn't going to be good at the moment and it will take as long as it does to heal a little, i'm in no rush I have lost someone so very important in my life and that takes time.
I have some anxiety now around my daughter and keep thinking something awful may happen to her as well (god forbid or else I will end my life)

I pine for my darling son and hope life isn't to long before i'm with him again

I'm so fucking angry for you, OP. Like you said in your PP, why are there scum still breathing yet your darling, innocent boy got taken from you. It's fucking wrong and cruel. I'm so fucking sorry.. I'm so so so sorry. It's not fair and I would do fucking anything for that not to have happened to you. You do not deserve this. I don't know what else to say except that I feel such Injustice for you. My thoughts are with you and in sending out positive vibes that time will pass quickly and you can start feeling some sense of normality very soon. So much love to you and your DD.

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, @dewisant2020. Matt sounds like he was a lovely boy.