Oh my god ... Help me please I don't know what to do!!!

[Mummy2TandF]

my dh went fishing last night and at 11:30pm I had a knock on the door from the police .... My dh has been found dead on a footpath at the lake They think it was a massive heart attack, a stroke or a blood clot but will do a PM tomorrow, I don't know what to do, I have my family here with me but it is easier to talk on here How do I tell my dc's? WHAT do I tell my dc's - they are only 2.9 and 10 months Will they understand, what are they going to do without their daddy? How will I get through the days without my dh? I know we argued etc but I really, really, loved him and now he is gone Help please

[BandofMothers]

Oh I can't stop thinking about this.
If I can do anything let me know.
I am not that far away and will come if you need someone, I know you don't have a huge amount of help down there.

I am so sorry that it all turned out this way.
I am here if you need me, email or MSN.

[PinkMartini]

I couldn't not post on this - I am so sorry for your loss.

Please take anyone who offers help up on their offers, whether it's cooking, shopping, looking after the DCs, helping with funeral arrangements. It will help others feel like they're helping you and give you time to get your head round everything.

From what I know about this it's important to give yourself time to deal with this. You are in shock right now and it will seem like everything is overwhelming - because it is.

Thinking of you, your DCS and remember MN is always here.

[Mumpbump]

So sorry to hear of your loss. Words are inadequate...

[tortoiseSHELL]

so so sorry to read this, thoughts and prayers with you and your family. xxx

[Tinker]

god how awful. I am so sorry.

[kitsandbits]

OMG

Im so sorry

I dont know what to say

[frumpygrumpy]

Love from here too.

There are some useful books out there that might help with your older child. I will try to link them in a bit (I got them for my friend whose husband died at Christmas leaving her with 3 children age 6, 4, and 2.8).

Its probably far too soon for any of this chat but I wanted to get it down before I change my mind and let you know some things she did that she felt would help her children in the future. She took all her children to the funeral (lots of people didn't agree). She felt that they would feel a bigger part of his life if they knew they had been included in the farewell. She had a memory book at the church and we all wrote things about the day (I wrote that they all looked very smart, I mentioned a pink coat, shiny shoes, the teddy that fell out of the car when they arrived and made them giggle) and that it was very cold but beautifully sunny). She has read some of the book to them already but she is happy they will have a picture in their minds of what the day was like and who was there when they are older and wonder.

She had her husband in the house the night before the funeral (not for everyone). She didn't ask any of them to go into to the room he was in but the two older children asked to (I think your children might be too young for this) and wanted to open the coffin to see him. She explained he wouldn't feel the same because he had left his body behind. She still tells them they can talk to him anytime they like, that he can hear them and see them, its just that he can't talk back. The oldest believes her daddy is a fairy and therefore, always with her.

I wish you strength for your days and peace for your nights my love. Stay strong. We will always be here to listen xxx.

[elesbells]

omg

i was just leaving for work and found this

mummy2 i am so sorry if you need me let me know [email protected]. ill mail you my phone number.

[harrisey]

Just wanted to say that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family. I cant imagine what you must be going through, cant imagine how you must feel, but I wanted you to know I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Please post as much as you need to/want to. There's always someone here to listen. LOve Harrisey xx

[Browny]

Just had to offer my sympathy too, very, very sorry .

[Hurlyburly]

So sorry for you and your children

[Cowardice]

Oh god.

Oh darling, I am so so sorry.

If there is anything anyone can do don't hesitate to ask.

Is there an MN'er near you?

[piximon]

I am so sorry for your loss. I really, really don't know what to say but I wanted you know you are in all of our thoughts.

[frumpygrumpy]

I hope this link works. I have linked the thread I posted about the books as it has a few other links in there (some that Yorkiegirl suggested to me) that could be useful to you also.

Badgers Parting Gift is a lovely book.

Here is the thread

[serenity]

I'm so sorry

[dressedupnowheretogo]

im so sorry how awful

[RGPargy]

OMG, how truly truly awful. So sorry for your loss.

[LIZS]

am so sorry , what a terrible shock.

[BettySpaghetti]

I am so, so sorry

[CaptainDippy]

I'm so sorry - I know it is not much, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. Glady ou have family around you. xx

[onlyjoking9329]

just to let you know i am thinking about you all, what a massive shock, i am glad you have people around you.

[katwith3kittens]

I can't imagine what you are going through at the moment, your heart must be breaking into a thousand pieces
.
Take all the help you can from the people around you and stay strong.

My thoughts are with you

[itwasntme]

What an horrific shock.. I am so so sorry.

I'm glad you have people around you. They will help you. You will not have to face this alone.

Thoughts and prayers for your family

[eleusis]

I'm so sorry.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}