Oh my god ... Help me please I don't know what to do!!!

[Mummy2TandF]

my dh went fishing last night and at 11:30pm I had a knock on the door from the police .... My dh has been found dead on a footpath at the lake They think it was a massive heart attack, a stroke or a blood clot but will do a PM tomorrow, I don't know what to do, I have my family here with me but it is easier to talk on here How do I tell my dc's? WHAT do I tell my dc's - they are only 2.9 and 10 months Will they understand, what are they going to do without their daddy? How will I get through the days without my dh? I know we argued etc but I really, really, loved him and now he is gone Help please

captaincaveman - Craig would have loved your name btw! No I am not getting much sleep, I think my max is about 5 hours in a night, but am averaging about 2-3 I just don't feel tired I am going to take Toby to nursery/playshool this morning and then come back and phone the Drs again, I won't let this go1 I couldn't bear to lose the dc's early as well just because the Dr couldn't be bothered to refer

mummy2t&f, you cnt have expected yourself to stay there and fight your corner against someon who is totally against it and you dont know!

best bet is going back to see the doc you originally made the appoointment for. hopefully he will understand a bit better.

hope you are ok.

xx

I agree....go back and see your usual dr and demand a referral.
have you any word form the coroner ?

I agree that Toby is probably too young to tell Marfans at the moment but you need to be in the system.

Good luck

xx

Im crying my eyes out for you im so sorry about your loss

im thinking of you and sending you lots and lots of love !!! xx

You also need to write to the dr you intended to see at the surgery and send a copy to the practice manager. Make sure you keep a copy as well.
Has the lady from the benevolent fund been in touch?
Has Beller been to see you?

Hi agn mummytotandf- What plans do you have if any for the weekend? If you fancy getting ut of the house, i could come and get you (and dc's obviously!) and come over to Brentwood for the day,and ill cook you all lunch? Not sure what the weather is supposed to be like..but there is a country park nearby,or a farm that the kids would love? If not and you have plans, then maybe one night next week? Let me know and good luck witht he docs xxx

Thinking of you, this might be another good website to check out www.heartrhythmcharity.org.uk/, a lovely lady called Trudie runs it, SAD is something they are familiar with, and might be able to recommend a way to ensure that your little ones are tested for potential heart problems.

How are you this morning Mummy2TandF?

Just taken 20 mins to read through this thread. my heart goes out to you Mummy2, can't begin to know what you must be going through, but my thoughts & prayers are with you & the DC's xx

Mumsnetters all you are a lovely caring bunch & I'm awed by the love & support you are all showing Mummy2, it makes me come over all wiffly & restores my faith in human nature.

Thank you all for still thinking about me. I did decide to go away with Craigs sister (for Tobys sake) and everybody said that it would help me ... but it didn't It doesn't matter where I am or how far away from home I am my loss is still so massive and painful Infact I was probably worse, if that is possible because everybody was a couple and I was so alone - Craigs brother lives near where we went so he came to see us on the Saturday evening but his eyes are so much like Craigs it made me feel sick and a 5.5 hour drive on my own was a bit too much thinking time .... all this is so hard, I really can't see any light at the end of the tunnel Sorry for this post, am just really down at the moment.

it does get easier honest ,everything but its so soon for you, take a step at a time ,its ok at first cos everyone helps and sees you ,then suddenly you are on your own ,mumsnet is the place i come i can rant and rave and everyone has good advice,i became a grandma again yesterday,my grandson died of cot death in december, i found it hard ,take care of yourself your hubby will look dowmn and be so proud of you ,and your childrenx thinking of youxx

Lovely post hazygirl.
Mummy2TandF - take your time, and keep talking to us.....

Hi mummy, just keep talking to us all, we're here to ease the burden in any way we can. Little things can help so much so whatever you need someone will be able to help. Beller is close by and has made the offer. There is always someone with some skill or experience which may prove useful so if there is any little thing that feels like the last straw just post and I'm sure someone will help out like with the photos. Even if you need letters typing for you to official type people or whatever. I'm sure even if it were your laundry pile bothering you some kind soul on here would wash and iron it and post it on back!! You're in my thoughts every day and I wish I could do something more to ease your pain. Maybe one day one of your requests will be my forte. Take care of yourself and those beautiful little one. xxx

Still thinking of you..

Beller - Thank you so much for the offer but I was away at the weekend, although I don't know if you are free on Tuesday evenings at all, but I really struggle with them and nobody seems to be available to come over I have tried every Tuesday but noone is free [free]

Hi Mummy2. I just want to add my voice to the many that say you are being thought of. Mistypeaks speaks wise words, and because of that here's an email for me - helen @ pixelservices dot co dot uk (no gaps) - so if you would like some photos altered you can drop me a line (scanned images are fine). This offer is for whenever you are ready, just take your time (I know you've also had other offers, so no worries if you are already sorted). Take care. x

Is there anything else anyone could do to help?

Thanks again but Tuesdays are my main hurdle atm especially at about 5:30pm That is when Craig was actually found + 11:30pm is when the police knocked, so Tuesdays are not good. Does anybody here know a good place to order silk flower arrangements? I went over to Belhus today and all of Craigs flowers around the tree are looking decidedly (sp?) tired, so I would like to have some silk ones made up to put there.

Just been catching up as have been back at work. Sorry you trip went badly, perhaps you need time in your own environment to sort things out in your mind before venturing out too far.

As for the Doctor, make that second appointment! They should take your concerns seriously not fob your off with Diazipam (sp?) Locums are great with the flu but won't make any serious decisions (ime) as it costs the PCT money.

Hope the LO are coping well.

X

I have had a look on Ebay, there seems to be a lady on there who does really nice silk flower displays - I have emailed her, Craig would expect nothing less, he called me his Ebay Queen! My bf phoned this evening and I was in the middle of a breakdown I thought I hid it quite well but she realised I was crying and I blurted it all out She can't drive but has said that I can go to her on Tuesdays when I have picked ds up from playschool and spend the afternoon, then she will do us dinner and we can bath my dc's with her dc's put them all in their pj's and I can take them home and just put them straight to bed. I don't want to be a burden for her and she can't really afford to feed 3 more mouths, plus her dh will be there, he was a great friend of Craigs so wouldn't mind but it upsets me to see him with her dd's NurseryJo, thanks for the offer but I think you are quite a way from me if I remember (we have spoken on other threads I think) .... Am starting to get upset again now as it was around this time I text Craig on the night he died and is coming up to the time that the police knocked Am off to browse the active threads

hope last night was manageable and you found some company on the active threads... Just wanted to say hello this morning really.
x