If you lost a loved one in the last few months, how are you feeling today?

[ElectricMelon]

I lost my mum suddenly on the 11th of October and in general I think am coping okay. I am getting on with life the best I can even though most days I don't even want to get out of bed.

I think about her constantly. Most of the time I feel okay and can put on a brave face but every so often I get this overwhelming sadness and I can't stop crying. Usually it's in bed when I'm on my own and it hits me that I won't even see her again.

It's hard because she was only 49 and I spoke to her on the phone like normal and twenty minutes later she was gone. Just like that and they never found a cause.

Today I feel a bit tearful and keep remembering little things she said to me and how we used to cry with laughter together. I just want to phone her up and have a chat and a moan like we used to.

It's Dd's birthday next weekend which I am looking forward to but also dreading. It's going to be hard without her here.

How are others feeling today?

My Mum passed away on Feb 28th. Its not getting easier. I am a mess today. My heart literally feels broken.

Tiredemma, sending you a massive hug. It's so hard isn't it and it hits you at the oddest of times.

The kids and I had our first holiday without my husband and it was so bittersweet - so, so many memories. I think I've cried more in the past week than I have since he first died in February.

Life goes on, but there is just this huge, aching hole, where he should be and it's never going to be filled. I hate it, I really, really hate it.

Sorry, that was a bit self indulgent. Just hugs to anyone and everyone who needs one.

I lost my dear dad in January and haven't really cried yet. It feels like there is a stone on my chest and in my throat, and I can't get it out.
We went to see Dunkirk on the weekend and I just wanted to phone him to tell him how great it was and say he & mum must go and see it as his fathers boat was taken by the navy to use, and the young boy in the film must have been about my dad's age the, so I cried, but the stones are there.

I lost my dad to meningitis, it doesn't seem fair, one day he was working, the next day he was on life support, battling the infection. We had to agree to withdraw life support as his brain was damaged. Heartbroken.

It's 16 months since my DH died and my life feels horrible. Objectively I'm doing well and am fortunate to have work and a nice home, lovely DD. I don't even think of him in an overwhelming every day sort of way, but feel as if I have a skin too few, am using up all my resilience at work and holding it together by the skin of my teeth. I'm always within an ace of angry or sad outbursts. Without wishing to offend those who have broken down under the strain, I would almost be grateful to break down then I could just stop.

Oh leapling, your post is utterly heartbreaking, so very sorry to hear about your baby girl . Everyone's stories on here are so sad. I lost my lovely mum in August to bloody cancer. My emotions are up and down. Glad she's no longer In pain but so bitter about what happened and the final couple of days. I feel an enermous amount of guilt and sorrow. Ultimately though, it's the sadness that my little boys have lost their gran, and she's lost the chance to see them grow up. And my poor dad. Christmas is turning into an excruciating time. Love to all xx

Sorry we are all on here.My Dad died in September after some very sad unpleasant weeks I. Hospital then a nursing home.He had cancer everywhere.Mostly I feel better than I expected to.The other week I felt tearful and deeply sad though.This time of year isn't my favorite. This year will be especially hard.I'm working Christmas day too.:(

I lost my DD 5 weeks ago now, she was stillborn. It was the first Christmas I was looking forward to after my mum died a few years ago and now I’m dreading it more than ever. DH and I don’t know what to do for the best now, considering just ignoring the whole thing as we have no other children. So sorry to everyone else for their losses - life is cruel x

My beautiful boy died three months ago. He was 22 years old. He was born too early, he had a wonderful inspiring personality but had to live with very severe disability and complex medical needs I am very grateful that he had a childhood but I get angry still thinking about just how much he had to deal with. I am doing ok keeping very busy sorting out the house for future rental or sale, it occupies me. I feel that I may be bottling it all up too much and will crash one day . I was my son's carer and we almost ran a mini NHS ward in the home. I am by myself and I need to find a new purpose in life but it is too soon.
He loved Christmas all the sparkling lights and music and people visiting and presents and he still got excited about Father Christmas. I am dreading it

Iamchanging I am so sorry. Your beloved daughter. I wish you strength and also to all others on this thread who have lost a loved one

I am sorry that you lost your son antiopa12

Iamchanging I am so sorry your DD was stillborn. I hadn’t realised how many babies die during delivery until I heard a news story this morning. Do whatever you need to do to get through Christmas.

Thank you for starting this thread OP, really helpful although it is making me cry before going to work! Thinking of you all.

I lost my brother unexpectedly earlier in the year and my mum in August aged 79 from cancer, awful watching her suffer so dreadfully. I’ve also had to have surgery and treatment which has kept me busy but I’m suffering with grief more now with the whole Christmas thing.

Take care everyone.

@echt
Your post resonates so much with me.

I too am doing okay, but okay isn't much fun and to me consists of getting through (be it thought the minute, hour, day, week).

I think because I mainly only grieve when I'm alone or with one or two particular friends everyone else thinks things are okay for me now. They aren't.

I miss John so much. I miss the life we had together, the enjoyment he brought to my life, the love we had for each other, the feel of him holding me in his arms, the loving way he looked at me, everything about him.

We are getting a puppy on Friday, which I am excited and happy about - and at the same time it's making cry as it is part of our lives that John will never know, and which wouldn't be happening if be hadn't died.

I've had a cold over the last week and now have a nose full of coldsores () and i just want him to put his arms around me and make me feel lighter.

Sorry for all the losses A puppy will definitely help to bring a smile back to your face. My little rescue dog has brought untold joy into my life - she's an absolute delight. Still grieving and hurting, but I now have a fabulous distraction

Sorry chasingsquirrels
Enjoy the puppy. It is amazing how much an animal brings to your life.
Spidereyes Glad that you are enjoying your rescue dog!

I'm so sorry to hear of all your losses as heart wrenching as loosing a loved one is, it is somewhat comforting to know we are not alone and we can help each other get through these awful times. Thank you op for starting this thread.

I lost a loved one this morning and am devastated.

squirrels, good to hear about the puppy. They are fab.

Nelly, I'm sorry to hear this. Would you like to say more your loved one?

My husband died in late October. I make a good act of being OK but I am heartbroken and think of him constantly. I am kept very busy with full-time work and three young children and don't know how I would do it without them. All the comments from the widows on here ring so true. I just want his arms around me. I couldn't ever imagine being so emotionally intimate with another man. It is very difficult missing my husband so much and knowing he is gone forever.

Lost my mum nearly four weeks ago. I was her only child.

Outwardly coped just fine, spoke at the funeral, even made some jokes. Got on with the practical and legal stuff. So much to do.To everyone else I probably appear as normal, just so busy with everything.

I am blessed to have my husband and adult children, also am a foster carer so many people around. But I have no family of my own, no one knew me as a child, my closest friends are all abroad, and at home I need to make sure everyone else is ok, because they have been so upset. Though they seem to be moving on, and I am both pleased and angry at that. I feel dead inside now, and just want to stay in bed, I don't of course but I do stay up until 4 or 5am every night just so I can be alone and have time for me, without having to talk to anyone. And I feel so ill. Probably because of only 3 hours sleep a night. I just feel so alone and so scared.

Sorry for your losses.I was.dreading Christmas as its the first o e without df and I'm working.However DM.scattered df ashes on Monday with one dsis then posted the picture of Facebook for the rest of us to find out after.others had seen it!!!! I've been helping her so.no idea why I find out at 11pm after a 14 hour day.So very angry.I will think of df in my own way and may go to midnight mass.

So sorry for all your losses I lost my mum at the end of October after a horrible battle with pancreatic cancer. I feel worse as the days go on and don’t know when I will start to feel better. It seems people expect me to be getting over it by now but actually the reality is only just sinking in. Dreading Xmas and only focused on getting through it for my ds.

I lost my husband 4 weeks ago. It was a shock. I keep expecting him to walk through the door.

I feel as though I am on auto pilot. Stuff goes in, but I am not able to process to a conclusion. I am so lucky to have loads of great support, but they all have their own lives. It's so hard. I miss him.