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Original poster

Cruel comments from mn'er

195 replies

jco · 20/02/2006 19:55

There is a thread in the parenting section about being dissapointed with the sex of your child. As i lost a baby last summer i posted a message saying that we should really be grateful to have live healthy babys regardless of the sex and mentioned that i had lost a baby, below is the reply i got from one mn'er

"Oh bloody hell, why do people on MN have to get on a high horse about this? I WAS disappointed that DS2 wasn't a girl. I don't see what is wrong with having a preference as long as it doesn't ultimately affect your relationship with said child. It does not mean I love him any less or that I'm an ungrateful undeserving mother who should be glad that the creature was even born alive.

PARPS off."

Why are some people so cruel and insensitive. I lost my baby fgs!! this has really upset me, do some people have no compassion at all!?

OP posts:
fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:35

JCO it's horrible and should never be allowed to happen to any human being, but it does ...

From what I saw the person didn't aim her comments at you and she probably didn't realise how awful you're feeling...

You're going to be super-oversensitive for a while, as anyone would be, and it's possibly not her fault that she didn't realise this... just sometimes we don't know when to keep our mouths shut, everyone's done it... really I bet she didn't mean to hurt you...

Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:37

fastasleep - good post. Zeb will probably see this, be as mortified as I was when I did the same with ks, and apologise at once.

I think a lot of people are menstruating together again!

fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:37

Leave cod alone for goodness sake, just because she's here doesn't mean she's a sounding rod to be beaten up because she's notorious and speaks her mind. This thread isn't about her so just stop having a go will you, she's not said anything worthy of a trouncing!

RedZuleika · 20/02/2006 21:37

Hey - do you want to hear something really insensitive??

When my mother was trying to keep from losing one of her pregnancies in the early 70s, she was put on the same ward as women in for abortions.

What were the NHS thinking...??

(See how I'm trying to change the subject here... )

Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:39

When I had my first, I spent my first night in a ward full of expectant mothers in there with complications. Very nice for them!

Original poster
jco · 20/02/2006 21:39

Can i just clarify that i started this thread because i was feeling very upset. It was not my intention to have anybody judged, this is why i did not even mention the persons name in my initial post.

I posted because i am sat here alone feeling so sad and desperately needed to talk.

I thank all of you who have been kind and supportive towards me.

One or two seem intent on making me feel worse, and i have to say you are doing a good job. i wanted to talk about losing my tiny little baby and can't believe that some of you feel the need to have a go at me

OP posts:
Beetroot · 20/02/2006 21:40

oh fgs, leeave cod out of it. she has a valid point which I actually agree w ith.

Yes sad situation,
but no need to turn it into a get at cod thread.

and no need to continue to berate Zebra unti lshe is here.

fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:40

There was a woman I saw in the emergency section of the labour ward who was in the process of having a stillbirth, surrounded by women having babies... I think life is just insensitive in itself (and she was left in the emergency waiting room for a good three hours sobbing, next a woman with pre-eclampsia having contractions!)

Spidermama · 20/02/2006 21:40

I haven't read all of this thread and I didn't read all of the thread which prompted it. I read the OP, a couple of others and then mszebras post, thought to myself 'yes I agree with MsZ' and posted straight after her. There was absoluterly no offence intended and the remarks were never meant to be taken personally.

I'm very sorry for your loss jco but I really don't think you can summise that Msz's post had anything to do with your earlier ones.

I also agree that people shouldn've be rounding on someone who isn't here to speak for herself.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:40

Message withdrawn

Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:41

jco sweetheart, please don't take it personally. I'm sorry people haven't been nicer, maybe if this had happened to them they might have a bit more understanding? MN is vile atm, sorry you've been caught up in it. Have an early night and all will look better in the morning.

Tipex · 20/02/2006 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spidermama · 20/02/2006 21:41

Perhaps some people always read an entire thread before they post to avoid such clumsiness. I don't. I prefer to cover more subjects in less detail. We all MN differently.

Spidermama · 20/02/2006 21:42

Such complexity cod. I'm still rubbing my eyes!

fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:42

How about we just leave the original 'debate' now eh? As it's really obvious that JCO is just really hurting right now, and nothing added to the er 'debate' would be helpful.

JCO have you got anyone to be with in real life, you know as a shoulder to cry on?

Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:43

Lets not upset jco anymore. I take it that her grief is still raw and on MN it's easy to offend without meaning to.

Bettikitten · 20/02/2006 21:44

Jco - firstly am so sorry if I have upset you, that wasn't my intention.

Cod - It was just the post you said was a "bitch fest" made me post . I didn't think this was a "bitchy" thread but the "piss off newbies" was and just wondered why you felt the need to post on this poor girl's thread.

Beetroot · 20/02/2006 21:44

blimey I think everybosy has been perfectly nice to jco. Not heard a crap word said to her.

doormat · 20/02/2006 21:46

jco I am so sorry for your loss, I can totally understand that you are upset

IMO and IME this is not like mszebra.

goldstarlover · 20/02/2006 21:46

posted by jco:

One or two seem intent on making me feel worse, and i have to say you are doing a good job. i wanted to talk about losing my tiny little baby and can't believe that some of you feel the need to have a go at me

Original poster
jco · 20/02/2006 21:46

the reason i felt her commets where directed at me was because i said that some women would be grateful to have ' a live healthy baby' in her reply she said '....or that I'm an ungrateful undeserving mother who should be glad that the creature was even born alive...' this to me seems a direct response to my comment.

Rubarb i think i will take your advice hun and have an early night, thankyou to all of you who have been kind enough to offer me support when i am feeling so very down

take care x

OP posts:
goldstarlover · 20/02/2006 21:47

so please... lets not make this worse yeah??

everyone who is saying leave it because zebra hasn't seen it ... stop bumping it

it doesn't matter WHY you are saying things, or how valid points are... you're upsetting someone who is having a really rough time of it.
why?

Blossomhill · 20/02/2006 21:47

I just wanted to say that this is the www.

This is not behind MZ's back it is here for all to see.

Jco you can post what you like and do not need to answer to anyone. Just like other members (not you cod, promise ) post what they like.

Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:48

Get on the phone and chat to a RL friend hon. How long ago was your loss? Is your partner supportive?

goldstarlover · 20/02/2006 21:49

i agree BH... and jco didn't even name her in the original post

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