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Original poster

Cruel comments from mn'er

195 replies

jco · 20/02/2006 19:55

There is a thread in the parenting section about being dissapointed with the sex of your child. As i lost a baby last summer i posted a message saying that we should really be grateful to have live healthy babys regardless of the sex and mentioned that i had lost a baby, below is the reply i got from one mn'er

"Oh bloody hell, why do people on MN have to get on a high horse about this? I WAS disappointed that DS2 wasn't a girl. I don't see what is wrong with having a preference as long as it doesn't ultimately affect your relationship with said child. It does not mean I love him any less or that I'm an ungrateful undeserving mother who should be glad that the creature was even born alive.

PARPS off."

Why are some people so cruel and insensitive. I lost my baby fgs!! this has really upset me, do some people have no compassion at all!?

OP posts:
Original poster
jco · 20/02/2006 21:05

WWW, i totally accept that a person has a right to respond to my comments, i do not expect evrybody to agree with me, and everybody has a right to feel the way they do about a particular situation. What i do expect is that somebody might behave with some sensitivity towards me and the fact that i lost a baby. i expressed my opinion in a polite way and was not intending to have a go at anybody or their opinions. I stated the reason for my opinion was that i had lost a baby, i did not expect to be told i was 'on my high horse' or to be told to parp off, this was uncalled for and cruel

OP posts:
Hulababy · 20/02/2006 21:07

I do think the "Parp off" comment was inappropriate considering some of the comments and explanations of the thread. thoughtless and a rather cruel considering TBH.

lockets · 20/02/2006 21:09

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robinpud · 20/02/2006 21:09

jco- I can fully appreciate how deeply this has upset you. I read the thread and felt that the comment was just expressing a different opinion from the thread and was not directed at any one person at all. I think a lot of people post without thinking and without reading the whole thread.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:10

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oops · 20/02/2006 21:11

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oops · 20/02/2006 21:12

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cod · 20/02/2006 21:13

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oops · 20/02/2006 21:15

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cod · 20/02/2006 21:16

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cod · 20/02/2006 21:16

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RedZuleika · 20/02/2006 21:16

You know, Cod - some of the time you're quite amusing. But if you haven't got anything of use to say in this thread, perhaps you'd just better saying nothing.

Hulababy · 20/02/2006 21:16

Maybe things like this will, at least temporarily, make some people think and read better before posting. Just a thought.

Blossomhill · 20/02/2006 21:17

jco - i had the unfortunateness of also having an insensitive comment by same poster.
Apparently as a mother that had bottle fed her baby I was in the same category as mums that don't make their children wear seatbelts. yeah, whatever!!!!
Just wanted to tell you that to show just how irrational certain people are (and insensitive in your case).
I got upset and really angry but at the end of the day some people just aren't worth it.
As hard as it is just try and forget what was said and only worry about what your real close friends and families opinons are, as it is their's that matter.

oops · 20/02/2006 21:18

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cod · 20/02/2006 21:19

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crazydazy · 20/02/2006 21:19

So sorry for your loss Jco cannot begin to imagine how you feel.

I must admit there have been times when I have n not read a full thread and posted and then wished I hadn't as I later HAD read the whole thread.

I think in future I will try and read the whole thread before I post as I would want to avoid upsetting somebody in this way.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:19

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Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:21

Bitch fest? Pot calling kettle a little?

oops · 20/02/2006 21:21

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Original poster
jco · 20/02/2006 21:21

cod, my intention wasn't to make mszebra feel bad, that is why i came over to this section and posted a seperate thread. i felt very upset by her comments and felt the need to talk, as i'm sure we all do at some point when something has upset us.

OP posts:
RedZuleika · 20/02/2006 21:22

I once got into a discussion in a Childbirth thread in which I was basically told that I didn't have the right to an opinion because I'd never been in labour. It was subsequently pointed out to that poster that I'd already said I'd had three miscarriages. I don't think I'm that traumatised by them - but it was fairly insensitive. I don't think the poster had read my posts fully and was using the 'never been in labour' line as an intellectually bankrupt way of winning the argument. I think it's the nature of a message forum that people don't operate with the restraint they would (hopefully) in RL.

Sorry for your loss, JCO.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:22

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Bettikitten · 20/02/2006 21:24

Sorry Cod but don't think this is a bitch fest at all..I think the majority believe that Jco is totally right to be upset and angry. How can mszebra justify what she has said even if she was here?

Think you are more upset by the fact that you are not the most important person on this thread.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:24

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