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Original poster

Cruel comments from mn'er

195 replies

jco · 20/02/2006 19:55

There is a thread in the parenting section about being dissapointed with the sex of your child. As i lost a baby last summer i posted a message saying that we should really be grateful to have live healthy babys regardless of the sex and mentioned that i had lost a baby, below is the reply i got from one mn'er

"Oh bloody hell, why do people on MN have to get on a high horse about this? I WAS disappointed that DS2 wasn't a girl. I don't see what is wrong with having a preference as long as it doesn't ultimately affect your relationship with said child. It does not mean I love him any less or that I'm an ungrateful undeserving mother who should be glad that the creature was even born alive.

PARPS off."

Why are some people so cruel and insensitive. I lost my baby fgs!! this has really upset me, do some people have no compassion at all!?

OP posts:
cod · 20/02/2006 21:24

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Original poster
jco · 20/02/2006 21:25

cod, i am not having a 'bitch fest' I posted because i am feeling very upset at the moment. I do not wish to be rude but your comments are not helping me in anyway, and are in fact making me feel worse.

OP posts:
cod · 20/02/2006 21:25

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batters · 20/02/2006 21:26

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DumbledoresGirl · 20/02/2006 21:27

Cod what about your thread entitled Bog off newbies we don't wnat you here? Is that not a bitch fest? I found it upsetting and I am not even a newbie. I don't want people thinking threads like that represent all established Mumsnetters' feelings.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:27

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RedZuleika · 20/02/2006 21:27

Cod: suggesting that MsZebra perhaps didn't read the thread properly is a valid point. Suggesting that there was no point JCO starting this thread and anyone contributing to it, is not.

batters · 20/02/2006 21:27

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lockets · 20/02/2006 21:28

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cod · 20/02/2006 21:28

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oops · 20/02/2006 21:28

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cod · 20/02/2006 21:29

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fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:29

I've made a complete arse out of myself on here and made myself sound really unthinking, insensitive and maybe even bitchy more than once. I didn't mean to come acorss that way but I know that people at the time thought I did, it was all saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, putting my foot in it because I was upset, and the fact that when you post something it's there to look at again and again rather than just being lost in the sea of conversation iyswim...

I think both of you should just let it go as a mis-communication (because if she stumbles across this she'll probably be very upset too!) which is I think what Cod was saying. Rightly.

Not going to comment on the subject matter as I think I've learned I don't have the right to!

DumbledoresGirl · 20/02/2006 21:29

Also, in defence of jco, she did tell Mrszebra on that original thread that she was upset by her comment, so this thread isn't her only attempt to express how upset she feels.

fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:30

MIssed loads of threads with my sleepy typing then!

fastasleep · 20/02/2006 21:30

POSTS even. FGS brain!

RedZuleika · 20/02/2006 21:31

I disagree. The thread started about JCO. She didn't even mention the originator of the remarks.

I have posted my feelings on the other thread as well.

Original poster
jco · 20/02/2006 21:31

Cod, I lost my baby and nearly died in the process. i have every right to feel upset by this and also upset when people make insensitive comments. I am not having a go at anybody, you came on this thread and posted and i am entitled to respond. All i am saying is that this evening i am feeling very down about losing my baby, i really needed to talk to people who would understand. Please do not post on this thread if you are just going to have a go at me because at the moment i am upset enough

OP posts:
Bettikitten · 20/02/2006 21:32

Dumbledore - yes agree with you that is the only reason why I made that comment with regard to Cod.

Some people are quite sensitive others clearly are not.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:32

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Twiga · 20/02/2006 21:32

jco, sorry you were upset by the thread - I posted while it was all still very light hearted - having mc myself I have to say my sentiment would be very much the same as yours. I'm sorry you had to experience that loss in the first place and even sorrier that it's been made raw again by this.

Rhubarb · 20/02/2006 21:33

cod - calm yerself girl.

I had a thread like this about me once. There was a thread running about changing your MN name to reflect your personality, so suggestions where things like RSlicker and so on! Then ks started a thread asking what her new name should be, I didn't read it properly and put in things like bigfatmouth and so on. Well, ks thought I was having a go, like you would and started a thread about why I was having a go at her. I got emailed about it, saw the mistake and apologised wholeheartedly. It still gives me the giggles to think about it!

An apology would be nice and that would be that.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:33

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RedZuleika · 20/02/2006 21:33

The 'I disagree' was to Cod's comment "its a typical "all pile in" mn thread" btw.

Just to clarify.

cod · 20/02/2006 21:33

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