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A love story : Living without my beautiful red-headed Mia

995 replies

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 16/05/2012 21:47

This love story began before Mia was born, intensified when she entered our lives, and it will continue to burn strongly forever. Mia is my red-headed flame, my sweet pea, my noisy sprite. Mia is joy, she is love, she is every good thing you can imagine. And I am so incredibly proud to be her mummy.

Yet she is gone. Mia died totally unexpectedly last October at the age of 13 months. Impossible, but true.

We miss Mia?s cuddles, her weight and her little legs curled around us, her face against our cheeks and her warm arms around our necks, the soothing pats on the back that she would give us as we in turn patted her. She was intimate, coming to us, arms raised, for a reassuring cuddle, but then with a smile, content she would wiggle free, independent and inquisitive about everything around her, exploring her world, looking in cupboards, peeking between the banisters as she climbed the stairs and just revelling in her existence.

I have tried to estimate how many times a day we kissed Mia. Picking her up, putting her down, dressing her, feeding her, washing her hands, just because? it must have been hundreds. Equally, we always made a point to tell Mia every day just how much we loved her. We know she listened.

I cannot begin to adequately describe the love that we have for our little girl. I can only ask you to imagine the most perfect feeling of love and warmth that you can, to double its intensity, and extend it to infinity and you are still not even close to the amount of love that we shared with Mia every second of the her 13 months.

This is her story, and mine, and my reality.

OP posts:
EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 28/11/2012 10:40

Thinking about you all so much right now. I am glad that you found the counselling beneficial especially MrMia. I think in some ways grief is different to men than women. Men feel that it is their place to be strong and protect when they need themselves protecting.

Good to hear that the hospital are reassuring you by extra monitoring, it won't be long now til you baby is here.

Smile
janey68 · 29/11/2012 07:40

Just popping by to say hope all is well in these last few days. Before long your arms will be filled with a new little life. Not replacing Mia, or diminishing a single iota of anything about her, but another unique life for you and mrMia to cherish.

Tamdin · 29/11/2012 10:08

Thinking of you x

flubba · 29/11/2012 11:29

Thinking of you all xx

saffronwblue · 29/11/2012 21:34

Will be thinking of you all in these last few days before DC2 arrives. I am sure you will feel very close to Mia in the euphoria and intensity of the birth.

LadyGago · 30/11/2012 15:28

I have followed your, and Mias, story since your first post. Just wanted to pass on my best wishes for a safe arrival for your DC2. Your children are very lucky to have you as a mother xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 30/11/2012 22:10

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. It is all feeling quite real, yet still so very hard to imagine. Like Mia being here as part of my life, but now she is not. However, MrMia and I are very excited about meeting this child, wondering what they will be like. That's not to say we aren't scared about the birth...

Yesterday, my brother was married in Australia. He sent me his speech beforehand, and in it, he made reference to Mia, and how her death made him realise that he wanted to formally acknowledge his love for his beautiful girlfriend, how very much he wanted to share the rest of his life with her, and how love is really the only thing that matters in life. My gorgeous little red-head has had that effect on many people in our lives, it seems.

I watched the wedding service on Skype, but the connection was bad, so I will wait for the wedding video. After having spoken to my brother and the rest of the family since, it was a very happy day - and they all were completely understanding why we could not be there. They all thought we had the very best reason.

Today out loud, I said "I wish Mia didn't die." It sounds so trite and silly, yet this is my wish every second of every day.

OP posts:
Turniphead1 · 30/11/2012 22:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

expatinscotland · 30/11/2012 22:18

I wish Mia didn't die, either.

KnottyLocks · 30/11/2012 22:22

Popping in to say I am thinking of you all. Sending love and a huge hug x

jmf294 · 30/11/2012 22:28

Congratulations to your brother and how wonderful that Mia's love and legacy brings such joy to those around you.

Thoughts and prayers for you in these few days before your baby's arrival.
I so wish too that Mia hadn't died....

eightytwenty · 01/12/2012 17:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GranddadofMiaAlexandra · 02/12/2012 07:13

Mia was remembered in the wedding ceremony itself, not only in the speeches. The brother who was married on Thursday was the same one who carried Mia's photo in the IronMan event in March.
Mia's death continues to affect all our family, but Mia's Mummy is using it, with MrMia, to change aspects of the NHS for the better, as well as creating a lasting benefit for all, with Mia's Wood.

Welovecouscous · 02/12/2012 08:51

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 02/12/2012 10:44

Hello mia's grandad, lovely to see you.

miasmummy I had a dream last night you had a little boy called max Smile with lots of red hair.

How are you feeling? A great mixture I expect.

pookiecat · 02/12/2012 16:38

Thinking of you all, cannot wait to hear good news .... Think its a boy too , with red hair , very like Mia . The name I predict begins with A, love and light to you all xxxxx

fluffypillow · 02/12/2012 20:11

Thinking of you all, and looking forward to hearing some good news about the arrival of Mias little Brother or Sister.

Wishing you all the luck in the world, you deserve it xxx

jmf294 · 02/12/2012 20:16

Mia's Grandad-
Lovely to hear from you again here.
I kept you in my thoughts and prayers over the recent months.
I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to see your darling daughter suffer so, but yet you must be so proud of the dignity, courage and love that Mia's mummy shows.

Will be praying for you all as arrival of the baby approaches xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 03/12/2012 07:16

Everyone, thank you. Mia brought infinite joy, love and happiness into our lives. This baby will too, we know that. It is our job to ensure that the sadness we have does not taint the love, even though it will always be there.

Of course I will let you know when baby arrives - very interested to hear all your predictions!!

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 03/12/2012 10:30

I'm guessing boy but only because of Mia's little friend's prediction! Either way, Mia's brother/sister will be a beautiful baby!

Welovecouscous · 03/12/2012 10:59

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trulymadlydeeply · 03/12/2012 15:32

I think a boy, too ... for no good reason!

Thinking of you so much, Mias, and hoping it all goes well. Can't wait for the news: checking daily!

Lots of love to you all,

TMD xxx

janey68 · 03/12/2012 18:32

I have a gut feeling about a baby boy arriving tomorrow. But who knows?! One things for sure and that's that this little one will be surrounded by SO much love and will have a happy and blessed life. And will have a lovely name too, like his or her big sister

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 03/12/2012 19:32

MrMia and I are excited, relieved, and proud to announce the safe and uneventful arrival of Finn at 9.39am this morning by elective c-section. We both couldn't help but cry at the sight of him after all the hopes and worries of these past nine months.

Upon his emergence into the world, Finn immediately showed similarities to his big sister, with a series of loud and indignant yells. He also then weed on the paediatrician not once but twice as she checked him over!

While Finn's has dark hair, his face is very like Mia's own when she was born. And like her, he is already proving to be enthusiastic about his food and when awake, very interested in the world around him.

MrMia has happily held Finn most of the day, with a look of utmost content on his face. We can't believe Finn is finally here.

Thank you Mia darling, for this most amazing gift of happiness.

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FraterculaArctica · 03/12/2012 19:35

Many congratulations to you and MrMia - wonderful news. I have followed your threads but not posted before, but I want to join what I'm sure will be a throng of good wishes on this very happy day. Finn and Mia - wonderful names for your two children.

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