A love story : Living without my beautiful red-headed Mia

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

This love story began before Mia was born, intensified when she entered our lives, and it will continue to burn strongly forever. Mia is my red-headed flame, my sweet pea, my noisy sprite. Mia is joy, she is love, she is every good thing you can imagine. And I am so incredibly proud to be her mummy.

Yet she is gone. Mia died totally unexpectedly last October at the age of 13 months. Impossible, but true.

We miss Mia?s cuddles, her weight and her little legs curled around us, her face against our cheeks and her warm arms around our necks, the soothing pats on the back that she would give us as we in turn patted her. She was intimate, coming to us, arms raised, for a reassuring cuddle, but then with a smile, content she would wiggle free, independent and inquisitive about everything around her, exploring her world, looking in cupboards, peeking between the banisters as she climbed the stairs and just revelling in her existence.

I have tried to estimate how many times a day we kissed Mia. Picking her up, putting her down, dressing her, feeding her, washing her hands, just because? it must have been hundreds. Equally, we always made a point to tell Mia every day just how much we loved her. We know she listened.

I cannot begin to adequately describe the love that we have for our little girl. I can only ask you to imagine the most perfect feeling of love and warmth that you can, to double its intensity, and extend it to infinity and you are still not even close to the amount of love that we shared with Mia every second of the her 13 months.

This is her story, and mine, and my reality.

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

Friends, thank you for your encouraging words. I am going to continue to write about Mia, and here is my new thread

[Astralabe]

Lovely boy.. How sweet! I thought of Mia's block trolley today as our son has finally mastered it and I live that photo of Mia marching about with hers..

[janey68]

What a clever and funny little lad with Mia's photo! Sounds as though he's got bags of character like his sister.

[trulymadlydeeply]

Please will you start a new thread, Mias, so that we can all stay in touch with Mia and Finn?

Much love Xxx

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

Mia, when Finn knows he is being naughty, he goes over to your photo, picks it up, and kisses it, knowing full well that I will melt and forgive him whatever misdemeanour or chaos he has created. He is a funny, clever little boy. We tell him about you, and recognises all your photos, and we always say "That's Mia, your big sister. We love her very much." And at night when he goes to bed, I recite all the names in the family who love him, and finish by saying that "Mia loves you most of all."

[Mojito100]

Mia's, I echo everyone else's sentiments. You write so beautifully about your darling girl. Please don't ever stop.

[thedaymylifestoodstill]

Mias, I wanted to say to you, I read about Mias even before we lost our daughter.

I often think of her, of you and your DH and of her little brother.

Even though you don't know me, I wanted to say that we won't forget her either. Love to you xx

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

truly and everyone else - I meant to say that you would be only too welcome to come and visit Mia's Wood whenever you want. Just PM me and I would be only too happy to take you down there. You all helped make her wood a reality, and I would love to share it with you.

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

I think Mia wants me to keep writing too - not only are you all encouraging me to keep writing, but she has been sending out her own little messages over the past few days… a cloud kiss sent on her auntie, a Mia iris in bloom across the seas, a little brother who can now say "star" and starts the gestures for Twinkle Twinkle, the song I sing for her.

Yes, I am listening to you, darling girl. I won't stop. I never forget.

[LilyTheSavage]

I love reading your posts. Please don't stop.

[janey68]

I just want to say I think about you and your family regularly, even if you haven't posted for a while.... As I'm sure many others do. I do love hearing about Mia and you write so beautifully about her and her little brother, and when this thread fills up I know many of us would find inspiration and comfort if you felt able to write more. Mia's Wood sounds like a wonderful, permanent reminder, alongside all the other clouds, leaves and Mia messages

[Pawprint]

Just looked at your pics of Mia. She was beautiful - her red hair and big eyes :) So sad you have lost someone so precious. Please keep posting.

[trulymadlydeeply]

Lovely Mia's. Please don't stop writing or posting. Can we not start a new thread? Your words have brought your darling girl to life for us, and we want to carry on walking alongside you all as Finn grows up and you include Mia in that. We will always be here to support you and walk alongside you, even though perhaps the road will somehow get less bumpy in places as we walk along it with you.
Mia lives in our hearts and we want to watch Finn grow through your eyes and with Mia in his heart too.
I'd like to visit Mia's wood when I'm back in England for the summer. Would that be possible do you think?
Much love to you - I've missed your posts. Xxx

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

Hello little girl. I'm still here, I'm always here. But I have stopped writing as this thread is nearly at an end, and I don't want to use it up just yet. I need to know that the love and friendship is here when I really need it.

Today has been a funny Mother's Day. It was the first time since our only Mother's Day together that I have truly felt it was an event to mark, but it has been less special than I would have liked - you are not here to give me a sweet homemade card and a cuddle, although Finn's card and kiss were very precious.

I have dug in the garden bed where I cried for you two years ago. It is growing well, and your little brother 'helped' me with the weeding and sweeping. Your Mia iris is growing, but without sign of a flower yet. But your Mamma Mia rose is flourishing!

We are off to your Wood next weekend to start the spring clearance of grass and weeds around the trees - and we have already had so many people wanting to come along to MiaFest. Some of them have lost children like you, and we talk about you all together, so it would be wonderful to meet these ladies face-to-face at your special birthday festival.

When I think about you now, you are a glowing bright spot in my life. A year bursting with love, when everything was magical and amazing. It is true that Finn has brought joy back into my life, but he is him and you are you. He takes your photo and kisses it, and then gives it to me to kiss. I always tell him about all the people who love him, and at the end, I always say that you are the one who loves him most of all.

I miss you so, darling girl. Mummy xx

[Pidgy]

Thinking of you miasmummy, and your beautiful Mia and Finn.
Just popping over to say hi and just that really.
Hope you're all ok. X

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

Ladies, somehow I missed that Zara's baby is called Mia… thank you, yes, that news is very special to me.

I wrote a little story about Mia a while ago, called The Princess of Smiles. Perhaps I can bestow Mia's gift of smiles onto this new little baby girl too.

[trulymadlydeeply]

My thoughts are with you too.

Much love. Xxx

[jmf294]

I too thought straight away of your darling Mia when I heard the royal baby's name and thought I should come and let you know that I too think of you.
Your Mia is a beautiful princess and has a place in many peoples' hearts.

Thoughts with you all xx

[rach2713]

Hi mias mummy I have been reading your posts you have been writing and they have brought me to tears I have a 13 month old little girl and I have been looking ather and my heart has been hurting. You have so much strength and such powerful words. I know your little Angel is right by your side with her arms wrapped around you she is the wind on your face the brightest star in the sky x

[trulymadlydeeply]

Lovely, wise words, GrandadofMiaAlexandra. A new adventure amidst a continuing story of love and devotion that will last for lifetimes.
Love to you all.
Xxx

[Astralabe]

I imagine them passing at twin age.. High fiving somehow, as my older daughter dies to my younger son. Take it from me she would be / is bossing him about - you WILL do this Fin' etc'
Xxx

[GranddadofMiaAlexandra]

As Finn, the younger child, becomes the older brother, he and Mia both carry our love, which is multiplied, not diminished, by sharing.