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A love story : Living without my beautiful red-headed Mia

995 replies

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 16/05/2012 21:47

This love story began before Mia was born, intensified when she entered our lives, and it will continue to burn strongly forever. Mia is my red-headed flame, my sweet pea, my noisy sprite. Mia is joy, she is love, she is every good thing you can imagine. And I am so incredibly proud to be her mummy.

Yet she is gone. Mia died totally unexpectedly last October at the age of 13 months. Impossible, but true.

We miss Mia?s cuddles, her weight and her little legs curled around us, her face against our cheeks and her warm arms around our necks, the soothing pats on the back that she would give us as we in turn patted her. She was intimate, coming to us, arms raised, for a reassuring cuddle, but then with a smile, content she would wiggle free, independent and inquisitive about everything around her, exploring her world, looking in cupboards, peeking between the banisters as she climbed the stairs and just revelling in her existence.

I have tried to estimate how many times a day we kissed Mia. Picking her up, putting her down, dressing her, feeding her, washing her hands, just because? it must have been hundreds. Equally, we always made a point to tell Mia every day just how much we loved her. We know she listened.

I cannot begin to adequately describe the love that we have for our little girl. I can only ask you to imagine the most perfect feeling of love and warmth that you can, to double its intensity, and extend it to infinity and you are still not even close to the amount of love that we shared with Mia every second of the her 13 months.

This is her story, and mine, and my reality.

OP posts:
DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 23/10/2012 18:06

Thinking of you and NrMia, much love xx

Asmywhimsytakesme · 23/10/2012 18:40

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CJMommy · 23/10/2012 20:49

Thinking of you all xxx

jmf294 · 23/10/2012 21:24

Thoughts with you, Mr Mia's and darling Mia tonight.
I wish there were words I could use that would help ease your pain, but there aren't so I will just carry on praying for you all xxx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 23/10/2012 21:31

A year ago this was the beginning of the end of the world as we knew it... and we had no idea.

My poor little girl.

OP posts:
Everlong · 23/10/2012 21:40

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janey68 · 23/10/2012 22:17

Oh Miasmummy.
No words, but love, prayers and thoughts right with you.

dietstartstmoz · 24/10/2012 06:56

I will be thinking of you both today. XXXX

Molehillmountain · 24/10/2012 08:08

Thinking of you, Mia and Mr Mia today.

slightlycrumpled · 24/10/2012 08:10

Thinking of you both, and Mia today. X

Asmywhimsytakesme · 24/10/2012 08:17

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Tamdin · 24/10/2012 08:19

Will be thinking about you and your darling girl today x

flubba · 24/10/2012 08:21

Thinking of you all today
Much love, light and strength
x

LadyGago · 24/10/2012 09:32

Thinking of you all today, especially Mia.

Rest peacefully lovely girl xx

eightytwenty · 24/10/2012 15:20

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GRW · 24/10/2012 17:27

Thinking of you today. The beautiful autumn colours in the trees feel like a tribute to your beautiful girl xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 24/10/2012 18:42

Your thoughts of Mia today are so very appreciated. My beautiful girl, mourned and loved in equal measure, by so many.

Here, the day was shrouded in mist and greyness, the beautiful autumn colours subdued and sombre, as if to honour Mia. We went to Mia's Wood, and planted drifts of snowdrops and bluebells around her tree, and towards the area where we picnicked for her birthday. In contrast to the muted colours around, Mia's tree was vibrantly red, full of leaves, and glowing. Just as Mia's face would glow with her huge, all-encompassing smiles.

October 24th is such a grim day for us, we wish we could simply wipe it from the calendar. Last year it was Mia ; the year before, a wonderful vibrant man, an old school friend to MrMia, father to 6-month-old twins, died from the multiple cancers raging through his body ; the previous year to that, MrMia had to deliver the news to the rest of his family that his father only had weeks to live. We hoped that this year, this terrible cycle might be broken.

Sadly, however, the grief continues - Last night, we heard that a friend's step-daughter, who had suffered serious head injuries in an accident, was not improving and her ventilator would be turned off today. And the father of the MrMia's schoolfriend, is in a hospice and unlikely to live much longer... Then there is cupoftea's little Beatrice, also only 13 months, to mourn too.

What sort of world is this, where the burden of pain and grief does not stop? It is unrelenting.

OP posts:
Everlong · 24/10/2012 18:49

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flubba · 24/10/2012 18:50

:(

Sorry, I have no suitable or soothing words.

x

DuffyMoon · 24/10/2012 18:53

Thinking of you and your family - your writing is exquisitely eloquent x

Welovecouscous · 24/10/2012 19:10

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ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 24/10/2012 20:46

I often think you MiasMummy - because of the beautiful way you write about your DD and the fabulous photos of Mia (and my mother was a red head Smile).

And I have followed Bea's story from the beginning.

The fact that the two little ones are now linked in this way is both terrible and wonderful. I hope they are laughing together and enjoying the autumn leaves.

Much love xxx

beth12345 · 24/10/2012 20:57

Thinking of you today xxx

fluffypillow · 24/10/2012 21:04

I've always read your posts, and think of you often. I wish there was something I could do to take your pain away. Life can be so cruel. Love to you all xxx

RandallPinkFloyd · 24/10/2012 21:24

I'm so so sorry, Mia's Mummy.

I just don't have any words xx

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