"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

Mia..wise words from ilike...its hard at the moment and its gioing to be a long pregnancy but you will find room in your heart for all your babies

A new baby doesn't replace MIA..but it does give you someone to cuddle

Lots of wise and kind words, thank you everyone. I guess that my struggle is that I associate pregnancy with Mia, and that is obviously not the case now, but somehow in my head, it works - as that is the only comparison I have. It is all just mixed up. In my dream last night, I was doing a public talk about Mia's Wood, but then suddenly I was holding her in my arms and it was very confusing. Basically, how can I bear another child when I don't have Mia? How can I do all the things I did with her, with another child? I know I will love him / her endlessly, but I will always be so sad about all the experiences I had, and should have, with Mia. Sorry, not making sense...

Mias, I think that you can be conflicted like that with a second baby even if the first one is still here on Earth. I remember being pregnant with ds2 and wondering how I could love him as much as I loved ds1. But your heart expands, trust me! It is so, so hard for you because Mia's death has hammered home to you how very much you love her and I'm sure you probably feel that it's a betrayal of sorts? But it's not. Mia wanted to have a sibling and now she has one, you have given her that and probably she has given you that.

Thinking of you today fm xx

Good morning all

fm You and Fraser are in my thoughts today , be kind to yourself , it doesn't get any easier does it ?

Thinking of you today, fm xx

Good Afternoon ladiesxx

Thinking of you and your familytoday fm xx

we had our little boy born asleep..so perfect in every way harry carter davie born at 8.59 18.11.11 a day full of joy that turned to so much heartache..its 5mths on and the feelings the same,so much love but my heart is broken,which i belive will never mend.im a mummy to 3very special loving children also jonathan,jessica and amelia ages 4 3 and2.my arms are always full with lots of cuddles but the emptyness for harrys cuddles,is a feeling i cant put into words..dena xx

Welcome Dena. So sorry to hear about your Harry. xx
One of my earth children is Harry. Their angel sister is Sylvie-Rose.

dena this is a thread for all the mothers like us all, who miss the cuddles of their children. My beautiful Mia died last October totally unexpectedly at 13 months. It is so hard to understand how love and pain can co-exist in our hearts for our beautiful children. All I can say - both emotions are real, they do not negate each other, but assure us that our children continue to live in our hearts and minds.

Welcome dena I am sorry you find yourself here but keep posting and you will gain so much support from all the mums here who will support you and will never judge you xx

fm you are in my thoughts.

afternoon, folks!

Hello everyone :)

I have just had a neighbour over, and (embarrassingly) I was asleep! I never fall asleep in the day, but I'd taken a Diazepam, and I think it just chilled me too much. I also have a very sore face. I started using Rosehip Oil, and it seems to have made my face all red & irritated :(

Hi all! Been out shopping all day, phew am knackered now. Wanted a necklace for a wedding we are going to next weekend - managed to find a lovely pearl one with a teeny diamond angel on so am very pleased. Will be like having Erin close by.

K kissed my bump while we were out, totally out of the blue. I asked her why did she kiss my tummy - 'I'm kissing the baby of course mummy' Me - 'oh what baby' 'the baby growing in your tummy, silly mummy hadn't you noticed' And that was that - no mention of it since! Love her.

How is everyone doing?

wtw children are very clever and your K especially!
E keeps telling me there are 2 in my tummy... bit scared that she will be right

Welcome dena so sorry for your loss and sorry that you have to be here :( My daughter Scarlett was stillborn in Dec 2010 and it still hurts. It always will but it does change. The feelings I had then in the early days were different to now, more raw and desperate. Disbelief. I still have the odd twinge of disbelief now but it's real to me.

I'm blessed to have had another daughter who is now 10 weeks old today, she doesn't take away the pain of losing Scarlett but as fm said, it does give you someone to cuddle. xx

Evening all. Dh is out picking up dd1 from a party, latest one she's been to yet! She 10 and it was a bowling and laser quest party for a friend's birthday. It's a boy and she tells me that he's her boyfriend :) all very innocent! Running a bit late so I'm just relaxing for a while with Ella asleep in her moses basket :)

whatever your Katie is amazing. What a lovely moment for you both.

tami it's been a while since you've been here, glad to have you back, even with your red face.

Back from France yesterday, a totally uneventful trip until the moment when the clutch decided to stop working on the M25. All ok now, but things could have ended so differently... made me think of our trip to the hospital with one slightly off-colour little daughter, who we never brought back home. How life can change so suddenly. I miss her so, so much. It's almost like I somehow expected everything to be fine, and back to 'normal' again once we returned home from our trip. Why, I don't know. So it hurts all over again. Darling Mia.

Today was a bit odd. A close friend announced that she is pregnant and I am genuinely delighted for her but all day I have been thinking, how on earth did this end up being my life? Why couldn't I have had a happy ending? Have been reading up on Zen Buddhism, after hearing speaking on the radio. But he keeps talking about living in the here and in the now and how can I do that when it feels like by doing that, I'm leaving Sylvie-Rose behind in the past?

chip that's a question I often ask myself too. It is inconceivable that my happy, perfect little girl is gone. How? Why??? I find it difficult to believe that either DH or I, or heaven forbid, Mia, did anything so bad that we need to be punished in this way. The best I can come up with is - I do not understand. I will never understand. The day I understand is the day that the world becomes a bleaker, darker place. And that is simply beyond comprehension.

I quite like Buddhism in many ways, although when I visited Dharamsala, I was somewhat put off by all the endless chanting. Here is a saying from another thread I am, which also seems to fit, We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. (although I must admit, I am finding it a little hard to digest myself.)

That's it, Mias, I don't want to let go of the life I had planned. Even though I know it's already gone. How can I let go of my girl?

You are not ever letting her go. You carry her in your heart, and she is part of your present and future.