"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

Hello all x

How we all doing ?

Shabs I am sure you are out there somewhere , just know there is a hug and an ear whenever you fancy xx

I am knackered everlong and already on the wine

I love these boys of mine but bloody hell they can talk from the minute they wake to the minute they crash out

We have however had a fab Easter hols , very busy and full on but good fun x

How are you surviving ?

We do indeed x

No for you ?

Ello all

After I have been for a run I think I may be hitting the wine bottle. The Easter holidays have been fun but exhausting

What's up with Shabs?

No wonder the holidays have been so long

Hello Ilike , long time no speak , hows you ?

Grim indeed everlong I will never be in a bikini again, my stretch marks can probably be seen from space The fat I can get rid of, the stretchmarks I can't!

I'm fine thanks TW. we've been busy over the hols, and there is still loads of things left on my to do list. Organise ds3 1st birthday, research and hopefully book a holiday - I seem to send fecking hours on t'internet looking at holidays but not actually booking anything

How's it going in the TW house?

Not too bad thanks Ilike , just the usual madness that two boys and a dh brings x

Bikini ? I would need to do some drastic starvationj to ever get in one of those again

I think have 9lb+ and 11lb babies hasnt helped on the stretch mark front

Maybe Cyprus in the next few months and maybe Italy in the Autumn. It's getting dh to take the time off which is the biggest obstacle

Funny what you say about looking good in a bikini. At 19 I was so insecure about how I looked and I now look back and wonder what on earth I was thinking. I was curvy compared to my slim friends but I actually looked good in a bikini,but thought I was fat. Whereas now I am actually just fat

Me too Ilike , don't tell Shabs you are going to Cyprus , she will be trying to sneak into your case

Good plan everlong you won't need to this year though

We are making do with trips to annoy family , they are of course all delighted

Ooh holiday plans We're off to center parcs next month. Can't flipping wait!!

K had a little friend from school over to play this afternoon. When her mum came to collect her she had her 6 week old baby daughter with her. Gorgeous little thing. K of course wanted a hold, I had to look away as the last baby she had on her knee was Erin. And K was playing with her fingers and toes just like she did with Erin. Only this baby was moving and reacting to her touch. Bought back some painful memories, was surprised at how much it affected me. I had a hold too, that was fine. Easier than seeing K with her.

wtw not long till K can hold her own little brother/sister...
E loves playing with other babies, she's always had a soft touch for them and is so caring!

hey tw and ilike.. good to see you both

how can it be 8 years since I lost Fraser..how ?? 8 years ago tonight at some point frasers heart stopped

nights like tonight I am right back in that bloody room with that bloody scanner ..

as you were

fm big hugs for you! no words, just holding your hand x

oh fm, those flashbacks are so tough to handle for me, and you've had eight years of them... I am so sorry. Thinking of you and Fraser tonight.

Lots of very confusing thoughts at the moment about being pg, I just don't know how I can be happy about this (and I am), while I am still missing Mia so much. Too much to fit into my head at the same time...

{{FM}} - I am (virtually) holding you close. Love to you and Fraser x

I remember those conflicting feelings well Mia. It is a very tough time. Such happiness, but much sadness and grief still. Am I having another child for the right reasons? Am I trying to replace my dc? In your heart of hearts you know that Mia cannot and will not be replaced.

fm huge hugs. 8 years for you but I bet it feels like yesterday at times. It does to me, I know eveyone's different though. Hope tonight is ok for youxx

((FM)) thinking of you and Fraser xxx

Mias I totally understand. It is conflicting, I try and separate the grief and the joy in my mind as they are two separate emotions for two separate children. One can never replace the other xxxx

Blue I really really really hope so xx