"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

Oh Mia wonderful news. Your angel is looking after you. Enjoy!!! xx

Oh Miasmummy that is wonderful news Yay! I actually feel like jumping up and down but my pelvic floor won't allow it

Miasmummy yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss! I am so, so, soooooooooo happy for you, and strangely excited!! Huge, huge congratulations, to you, your DH, and of course - the big sister to be - Mia! xxxxx

cheese I am so sorry to hear you feeling down. Something struck me the other day, when looking through your facebook wall (catching up from my sabbatical). You wrote this heartwrenching, and extremely touching post, about taking Ella, to see Scarlett. I noticed that most people seemed to ignore the bit about Scarlett... of course they were excited about Ella. I wanted to say something about that, but didn't want to bring you down. It's horrible isn't it? The fact that people almost want you to shut up about your darling baby. I've noticed that more people comment on my posts when they make me sound normal or unbereaved/not grieving anymore. I think it's for their benefit, not mine. They don't like to feel uncomfortable xx

FWIW my hospital is not great either. I sent an email to my consultant's secretary a couple of weeks ago, regarding the conflicting repeat bloods. She said I'd have an answer within two days, then last Monday, still nothing. I email every other day, and it's just ignored now. I think that the consultant is too busy attending patients with living babies, to make time to explain my results. It makes me very . I honestly think the guilt is normal lovely. I don't know if you read it in my posts, but Tamsin's fluid level decreased significantly in the scan 5 days before she died. The SHO who I saw that day wasn't interested, even though I was worried. They still insist that it was within normal levels, but can't explain the decrease. I feel guilty too lovely, we shouldn't, we put our faith in these professionals (((HUGS))) xx

OK Miasmummy Can you send some baby dust my way? I'm happy to have the next virgin birth!

Many congratulations Mia - brilliant news xxx

Thank you everyone. It feels very unreal. And that nine months is forever. Thank you, darling girl.

Btw, I quite like the thought of rhianna and the virgin queen being in the same room, tami!

Mias, I knew it!!!!!!!! so happy for you!!

Miasmummy that's fantastic news!! So pleased for you :o

Thanks everyone for being there for me last night, feeling a lot better today, was having a particularly bad day/night.

everlong the guilt is so hard isn't it? I try not to blame myself and dh always tells me that it wasn't our fault at all which helps. I'll definitely consider counselling, it's helped dh a lot.

Tami I'd noticed the same when I posted on fb about taking Ella to see Scarlett, definitely wasn't lost on me. Other people seem to find it too hard mostly, some are totally lovely though and really help, sometimes feel like saying that it's harder for us and we live it everyday whereas they only have to acknowledge Scarlett!

You shouldn't feel guilty either but I know how difficult that is. Your hospital does sound awful :(

lavandes I'd barely even seen the consultant before that meeting, although she did turn up for the birth...I didn't remember her though, unsurprisingly. I think she definitely lacked empathy. I was shocked at the time but it didn't really register properly.

caz that's it isn't it, it wasn't supposed to be like this at all and looking at Ella brings that home all the more.

Thanks again everyone. Hope the day is going well. Just about to have a takeaway, well when it arrives! Pizza, couldn't be doing with cooking today! Was hoping for some nice weather now it's half term but it's grey here and looks like rain. Kids have been in the garden playing and now on the wii having some fun after popcorn and a film. Need to think of some indoor activities I think!

Congrats Mia's! I am still lurking, the whole thing of the trolls is making me uneasy about talking about Alice at the moment I was on here in the early hours of this morning and there was one on a lot of the threads, just glad he/she left here alone

lumps as everlong said please don't worry. If you look at my profile you'll see that I have photos of Tamsin, and anyone can see them. I don't care who sees them, she was my little girl, and I'm fiercely proud of her! I'm pretty sure there are no trolls here, honestly lovely:)

Hope you're OK lumps, been thinking of you a lot, just hoping that your OK. I know how hard it is. You don't have to talk about Alice. Just be assured that we're here for you, even if you just want to lurk xx

lumps then I am very honoured that you have posted.

chip and everlong maybe you are right about that dream...

cheese glad you are feeling better today. Guilt is such a tough emotion - it does you no good at all, but it sneaks up and clocks you on the head and leaves you reeling...

Congratulations miasmummy i really hope everything goes well for you. Reading your post made me cry, and i dont really know why, maybe its because i feel like my two angels sent me little man and have protected us. I have moved into my own place, and everything is well. x

We are all doing ok, I have had such vivid dreams of Alice recently. The other morning, I woke up and I was singing a song that I sang to my older children but I was singing it to Alice. I feel at peace at the moment, though it's almost a month now and I'm dreading it

lumps, you will find that there are significant dates that you dread but sometimes the date itself is actually not as bad as you were expecting. For me it was the New Year's Eve of 2011 as I felt I was leaving Sylvie-Rose behind in that year and that moving into 2012 was moving away from her. But New Years Eve itself was probably no worse than any other day.

Don't worry too much about the trolls. Luckily they're rare and far more interested in themselves than they are in us.

lumps enjoy those precious dreams. Maybe you could write down your feelings about them as they happen? They are still part of your love for Alice.

everlong I am due on December 10, and yes, already had tears several times today... But right now, I am totally stunned. A friend has just sent me a text, saying that her daughter, who is the same age as Mia, was chatting to Mia again, as she often does. Today, she was holding Mia's photo to her ear as if on the phone, and then mid-conversation, jumped down from her chair, ran to her baby doll, and dropped it on her mother's lap. In my friend's words ...with a determined nod, as to say - you have this, have a baby. I'm not sure what our girls were saying but I think they were trying to tell me something! Oh my goodness...

congrats miasmummy .. its gonna be a long 9 months .. but we are here to help and encourage

lumps dont fret about trolls .. they do and will happen . The secret is to ask yourself (before you post) am I happy for a complete stranger to read my thoughts/ look at these pictures

If the answer is no.. then dont post it ...then when we are invaded by maddies you dont suddenly think .. shit .. I shared that with them

hence I have no piccies on my profile ..

I hope that makes sense

Miasmummy Mia is a clever girl isn't she, and so loved by her friends.

You got a much better prize than a lottery win, that rainbow was lucky for you xx

Glad you're feeling a little better today Cheese xx

Still got a big grin on my face for you Miasmummy

God work is stressing me out a lot at the moment! Working stupid amounts of hours (luckily unless I'm with clients I work from home but am often still on my laptop at 10/11pm) and dp getting cross about it - rightly so I suspect but my income is our main income and am desperate to 'prove my worth' in the short time I'm back but it's taking its toll! Must get my priorities straightened out! It's a stupidly high pressured environment (I arrange commercial lending and investments for businesses t/o £3-6 million) and you can't take your eye of the ball for a second. Roll on 23rd July!!

Can't wait for 4 days off over Easter - best thing about working for a bank you're guaranteed all the bank holidays off

Whatever Wow, pretty impressive job. I'd be rubbish at it, my maths is appalling!

My friend has just made me cry, and me, being so damned clumsy & 'stream of consciousness', impulsive writing - told her this. She sent me an email to say she went to Tamsin's grave. I really didn't expect this. Only DH, DD1 & I go there. My parents keep "meaning" to go, but never have yet. I can't understand why I was so emotional about it, just really overwhelmed that someone else had thought of her, and that she had company that day.