"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

Thank you chip and everlong. I am just waiting for them to call back. I have found another one, which states it is just water, but right now I just panic. Silly thing puts everything into her mouth, but I've never worried about her getting hold of this before as it is sturdy. It's not leaking now, so I'm sure she pulled the rubber stopper somehow. It's going in the bin now. I will let you know when they call x

www.bootsphoto.com/shop/home-gifts/photo-snow-globe

Tami just had a look at that link - it says contains water and fake snowflakes. Presumably if it had anything nasty in it would have said there so chances are she's fine (always a worry though I know). If you are throwing it away anyway could you take the stopper out and empty it in to a bowl and smell it. Anti freeze will have a distinct smell as would most chemicals xx

normal service has resumed well or a few days anyway ... I was having a rubbish day yesterday and thought stupidly alcohol might help....made it worse.. throws lavandes a rope ..to help her up..

tami .. hope little one is ok

shabs you sound like a fantastic granny .. and despite the thumping headache and the bleeding ears you are having a ball arent you??

I love the idea of shabs going round being Rihanna all day! Can I be Cameron Diaz?

NHS direct phoned back. As they are often played with by children, they don't contain harmful chemicals, just water and plastic (and glitter in this one).

Thanks for all your support, I feel such an idiot. DH was not happy when he found out I'd rung them, saying that SS will probably take DD1, as I sound like a stupid, incompetent mum, who can't look after her.

I've uploaded a photo of the snow globe, onto my profile, you can see it's full, though there is a bubble. DD1 is sleeping right now, which is good for her, not so much me, as she doesn't sleep at night. So I need a anyone else?

Thanks Chipmonkey Jude was always going to be my name for a boy.
He was such a lovely natured wee man who was absolutely a mummy's boy. He was smart and polite and just a wee pleasure. I took him to the doctors on 22nd of December with a chest infection and they listened to his heart and rushed him to hospital. He was diagnosed the following day with Pulmonary Hypertension (lungs) and a large hole in his heart. He had been so healthy and showed absolutely no sign that there was anything wrong. He died on 23rd of December just 3 hours after diagnosis. It was such a shock.
I have an older daughter who is seven and she's keeping us going but I'll always miss my wee angel.
I have started a blog to record my journey and in the hopes that I can see some progress. if you want to see a photo there is one on there.

lifewithoutjude.wordpress.com/

Orion, I nearly did a double take when I saw the picture of your Jude. He could honestly be one of mine, particularly my ds3 who has the same type of white-blonde hair. He sounds like the most beautiful little boy and so loving. I am so, so sorry that you lost him.

Tami, I turned up at A+E with ds4 when he was 2 with a badly scalded face and scalp because I was stupid enough to leave a hot cup of tea on the worktop and not check that it was out of his reach. Social Services didn't come near us because in these things happen, even in houses where the children are generally well-cared for. Oh, and another time, ds3 escaped from the house in only a babygro, my neighbour brought him back when she spotted him crawling down the drive. Dh had gone back out to the car to get something and we're not sure how, but ds3 had somehow managed to escape in the short time dh left the front door open. She didn't report us to SS either and no-one ever threatened to take either of them from us. Mind you, if anyone did take ds3 from us, I imagine they'd soon bring him straight back!

Your H is trying to make you think you need him because you wouldn't be able to take care of dd1 on your own. It's a common ploy used by abusive men, you're not the only one to have been threatened with this.

orion I am so sorry to hear about Jude, he was a relly beautiful little boy.

tami I hope your dd is ok. I agree with chips last post.

Thank you all, but I feel quite ashamed after reading that blog, at my own anxiety.

Orion Jude was so beautiful. The way you write is so eloquent. I feel humbled by your courage, and privileged that you chose to share. It is lovely way to honour your little boy xx

Tami, why on earth would you be ashamed? You have lost a child. Understandably, you want to protect the ones you have left. We ALL get it!

orion3 I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful wee lad Jude. He looks utterly adorable. I am three years down this path and don't post here so often these days. I know the pain of losing a child very suddenly, my DS2 Gregor died aged 2 very suddenly and unexpectedly during a lunchtime nap three years ago. I have also found blogging at times therapeutic. My blog is here

I spoke at a study day for health professionals last week about the loss of Gregor and the work i carried out with the Scottish Cot Death Trust last year, was really tough to do but so very worthwhile as there is so much room for improvement.

So good to see you PPM - very proud of all the work you are doing to raise awareness, really really proud xxxxxx

Hey Shabs - how's your ears after lovely Lew's visit today? xx

Hiya Everlong lovely to see you too my friend xx

I have got him every day, except for the Easter Bank holidays, until the 18th of April....the nursery have tagged two teacher training days onto the end of the Easter holidays We have played Hungry Hippos, had a Nerff gun each but I came worse off than him, watched Rhianna for hours on Youtube and I can still hear him talking and he went home at 2pm!!!

Shabs, isn't it so funny how they get obsessed with a particular singer/character? Ds4 went through a phase of loving Mary Byrne from the X factor 2 years ago, and then last year it was Jedward. But he had his own names for the youtube videos like "The Fire Jedward" or "The Red Jedward" He drove me nuts looking for "The Green Jedward" when I couldn't find any video with them wearing green however hard I looked. Turned out it was the official video for the Eurovision where they are going up the Eiffel Tower and the lighting gives their faces a greenish hue....

LOL @ Jedward!!! Lew used to be crazy about Usher....he used to sing OMG and even copied the dance - he was only about 2 and a half!! His Mummy videod him dancing to the song....he kept tapping the side of his face just like Usher...too cute for words.

My DIL (to be) says that Rhianna has to live at our house thanks a bunch Em!! xx

Aw Shabs or should I say Rihanna I love hearing about Lew. What a little character he is Katie is obsessed with the songs from Annie and The Wizard of Oz. She sings them tunelessly over and over.

Orion I have just read some of your blog. It's both heartbreaking and inspiring. Jude was a gorgeous gorgeous boy xx

Cannot get some images out of my head, one being the consultant appointment to go over the pm results and I can't remember most of what she said, I was too scared and couldn't stop shaking. Talking about what caused Scarlett's death (even though nothing was conclusive and we now know that it was more than likely the GD that went undiagnosed) and she was saying it was because the cord was wrapped around her neck. At the time I didn't even think to question that but that happens all the time and everything is fine, the midwives I saw afterwards told me that and unless the cord was compressed that wouldn't matter.

It wasn't that but the motion that she used when describing it, and the noise. A hanging motion and put her head to the side when doing it. I was shocked then but couldn't say a thing. I'm quite outspoken but I was in no fit state to say a thing and I've only now been questioning and thinking about it all a lot more. I want to send a letter to the hospital of complaint about the lack of care I received and the consultant, a lot of things.

I get the impression that some think everything is and should be fine now that I've had another baby but it's not, that doesn't take away from the baby that died; she's still dead. Having Ella just makes me realise even more what we've lost. Sorry to be so down, I needed to get things out.

I've been putting a face on for so long now; and don't get me wrong, I'm really happy with my lot but that just doesn't make losing Scarlett any easier at all. I miss her and everything she would be now. 16 months ago today we found out she died, that just doesn't seem possible.

Even reading that feels wrong, I sometimes can't believe that it happened still, or that it happened to me.