"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

miasmummy I forgot to say, I had a dream with Mia in it last night. Like most dreams, the more you try to recall them, the further out of reach they get, but she was in a big house, with lots of other children. The house had acres of land, with a large hedged maze, that the children could hide in. And flowered areas, with really tall, cottage type flowers. I'm sorry that I can't remember more than that, the dream shifted to something else after the garden bit (with the children running around).

tami what a beautiful dream. It sounds like Mia and the other children were having a lot of fun. She must have been playing with all her friends from here... that's weird about the maze though, we are going to France for Easter, and the place where we are going has a small hedge maze there too, and they hide Easter eggs for the children in it. Apparently in France, it isn't Easter Bunny, but flying bells which bring the eggs. I will put in a special request for eggs so all our children can join in too.

Morning ladies xx

Happy Anniversary everlong did he remind you with flowers chocs or maybe diamonds?

happy anniversary everlong
How is everyone today? I had a flashback last night to the day david was born. I would go through all that pain again if i could just hold him again.

Happy anniversary Everlong How many years? Well done Mr E for remembering

Sands event went really well last night K had a wonderful time trying to copy the older girls dancing. I had a look at Erin's birth certificate today after talking about it on here - I never realised but its been given to us in the same folder as Katie's was which has a 'Welcome to your new arrival - here's a form to collect your Emma's diary newborn starter pack' Hmm think that needs to be re-thought! Ironically her death certificate was given to us in a bereaved parents register folder.

everlong Lovely garden weather, I'm glad you had a good anniversary - 17yrs - wow xx

Whatever I'm glad last night went well, I loved the photo of the balloon. It's shocking that they put Erin's birth certificate in the 'welcome' folder, you'd have thought they'd have more sense & sensitivity than to do that.

accident It's awful when that happens. Being nosey, what is the photo of a toe on your profile?

I've messaged lumpsdumps, as I'm worried about her, and want her to know that we're thinking of her. I do hope she is OK

I had an ingrown nail and the sporners wanted to see it! Im going to take it down.

So you and dh had a whirlwind romance, then, everlong! Dh and I are 18, almost 19 years married but we were together 6 years before we got married. I was 24. I look at 24 year olds now and think they are way too young to get married.

chip I was 24 when we got married hehe! We'll have been married 3 years on 1st August. Not even married a year when we lost Belle. Oh how I sometimes feel old before my time now. I've aged considerably these last two years, the photographs show it, especially around my eyes. Lots of people comment on my age and that they expect me to be older. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing.

My first scan with Tamsin was 4/4/11. I forgot I was worried about the measurements of the fetal pole, and posted about it on Netmums, so luckily, although I don't have my maternity notes still, I do have an online record. It made me very sad to read it though. Worried right back then, even when things were good. It also brings back the hopes & dreams I had back then :(

Tami, print that off! Threads eventually get deleted and it would be a shame if you lost that record. I am going to print off our November 11 thread from when Sylvie-Rose was born to when she died. I posted most days on Mumsnet and even if things were very boring in the NICU, it's still nice to know there is a sort of diary of those days. Gosh, Caz, I remember telling you everything was going to be OK with Xander and not to panic. Little did I know how I probably ought to have been panicking myself!

Caz, don't be silly, you still look like a baby! But I know what you mean. I feel Sylvie-Rose's death has aged me and given me a sort of wisdom I would rather not have.

Yes I should really chip. I posted about my worries in pregnancy, mainly on Netmums, as they have professionals on there, but I now think it'd have been better to post on here.

What was sad was that I wrote that the sonographer saw the heartbeat - how bloody different to the very last scan. I hate reading that now... now that I know how it ended :(

But Tami, just think! Her heart did beat, she spent all those months tucked up in your tummy, listening to your heart beat! What a lovely life, always surrounded by warmth and love.

I know chip - I often think of you and blue and how we all shared the Nov 11 thread, and how differently our journey's turned out. xx

I've not gone and read the old August 2010 threads, I don't think I could bear it. Maybe I should print them off though, it would be another record of my pregnancy with Belle. I'll never forget the post I had to put up telling the ladies my little girl had died though :( I pop by the current August 2010 thread from time to time though, just to say hi. The ladies there were so good to me, they sent us a rose and remembered Belle.

Thanks chip I do know that, but I just wish she could have seen me, tasted my milk... xx

It's strange every time I see the Due in October thread I go to post on it totally forgetting I'm due this time in September.

Everlong sounds like me and dp - we'll be together 9 years in July we've Bren together since I was 22. We will get round to getting married one day!

I feel aged by the last 7 months too, like my eyes have seen things they should never have. I always look around the cemetery and realise I'm the youngest there most of the time by 30+ years.

7 months today my darling Erin - your big sister started crawling around this age I wonder if you would be too. We miss you so much, I hope Katie was right and that you caught the balloons we sent you and you and granny Vera had fun playing with them xxxxxx

tami ah, that magical wish list - once you start, you can't stop...

I think it is hard looking back at those times when you had only excitement and love, and no idea of what was coming. At the same time, I am glad about them, because it meant that Mia was real. Imagine not experiencing any of the positive emotions, created by the existence of your beautiful child.

chip your outlook is beautiful. Yes, what a lovely life Belle had too, only knowing what it was like to be warm and loved and comforted. Try clinging onto that tami x

Caz, even if you don't look at them, might be an idea to print the thread off and put it away for safekeeping? Or would you like me to find it and do it for you?

Thank you for offering chip but I think I'll be ok to print them. You are very kind. I'm definitely not ready to read them yet, but I'm going to print them off tomorrow and put them in her memory box for one day.

Great suggestion. I can't believe I've never thought of that before!