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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Okay, am prepared for abuse and suggestions of being a terrible mother, but is it SO bad that 5 year old has dummy?

161 replies

missmoopy · 20/04/2010 21:32

My dd (5) STILL has her dummy and shows no signs of wanting to give it up.

She is bright and happy and I am really not that bothered about her having it. She only has it at bedtime as she feels it helps her relax.

Occasionally I have visions of her at 18 packing her dummy to go to Uni, but generally I am fine with it.

What do you think? And, if you think it is awful,how do I encourage her to give it up??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sidge · 20/04/2010 21:40

My DD still has her dummy at bedtime - she is 3.5.

We saw the dentist last week and he could tell straight away that she has a dummy; he said it needs to be gone by the age of 5 because it will impact on the growth and placement of her adult teeth.

I am planning to ditch it asap; I think I'll just throw it away and go cold turkey. I'm dreading it but it must be done!

TheCrackFox · 20/04/2010 21:42

I would imagine that in a couple of years she will grow out of it.

So long as she doesn't have her dummy in all day (it would affect her speech) I don't see the harm in it.

I never used dummies as there was no need for my boys and they didn't suck their thumbs either. Pure luck.

activate · 20/04/2010 21:43

Yes - bribe her

cktwo · 20/04/2010 21:45

It may not be SO bad but it's not good really. A dummy is a comforter for babies who suck for comfort. By 5, a child should have otherways of finding confort.

HesterPrynne · 20/04/2010 21:46

As it's only at night, I can't see that much wrong with it. Kids much older than that suck their thumbs, including my DDs and there's nothing you can do about that at all.

In fact, I can still revert to sucking my tongue at times of extreme stress.

PussinJimmyChoos · 20/04/2010 21:47

I had a dummy until late and so did my sister - both have lovely adult teeth

DH didn't have a dummy and he has crooked bottom teeth...

DS is nearly 4 and has a dummy for bed time and when he is very tired...but for the majority of the time he is dummy free and spits it out at night most of the time, just uses it to settle back to sleep when he needs it...

DH wants me to ditch it...I cannot see the harm tbh!

oliviacrumble · 20/04/2010 21:48

Mine had it at that age also, until a visit to the (disbelieving) dentist put us straight.

Like you, I also felt "where's the harm?", until dentist explained the dummy was preventing her permanent teeth from descending correctly, and that if continued, her top and bottom teeth would meet in a sort of 'o' shape.

We just went cold turkey, and it was hard.

I think I used a lot of 'visuals', you know, pictures of sharks with awful jagged teeth, monsters with grotesque grins etc, in order to explain in a light-hearted way why she had to give up her dummy.

The good thing with a 5yo, is that you can reason with them quite a bit.

I do think she probably needs to give it up at this stage.

Best of luck!

compo · 20/04/2010 21:50

It's no worse than sucking a thumb and I did that til way past 5

but if you think about sleepovers, brownie camp etc it's not a good position to be in

Sazisi · 20/04/2010 21:50

Not good for her teeth.
You could try leaving it out for the dummy fairy (who needs it for tiny babies ), and replace it with a small toy or £1 or something?

PussinJimmyChoos · 20/04/2010 21:50

My motto is that you can get rid of a dummy but not a thumb so easier to break a dummy habit imho

Ewe · 20/04/2010 21:50

I saw a child at the shops today who was in school uniform and had a dummy in... so not as bad as him but still not great!

Get the dummy fairy in!

SixtyFootDoll · 20/04/2010 21:50

IT is terrible at 5 sorry
Mine both loved their dummies to get to sleep, but 3 was old enough to get rid.

OrmRenewed · 20/04/2010 21:51

Erm..... yes.

I am the queen of what-the-heck but not keen on dummies at all, but particularly at 5. But maybe it's no worse than thumb-sucking? Don't know. Not keen.

Sidge · 20/04/2010 21:52

I think it is 'worse' than sucking a thumb in that a child will often fall asleep with the dummy in whilst thumbs usually slip out once asleep.

Original poster

missmoopy · 20/04/2010 21:52

We did try the dummy fairy but she had nightmares and wouldn't go to sleep! The dummy fairy became more feared than monsters, to the point I had to promise not to let the dummy fairy visit!

OP posts:

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/04/2010 21:56

Oh I don't think a dummy at 5 is a good idea.

DD stopped her dummy when she was about 14 months (she kept hurling them out of her pram, I had had enough). One night of cold turkey skrieking and she was fine.

However, about 3 months later she started sucking her thumb. And she is completely wedded to it. She is 14 now and still sucks her thumb when tired, of course I tell her not to but it is so instinctive, and I think she will probably always feel the urge. If she hasn't grown out of it at 14, when will she?

Her teeth are perfectly fine by the way, no circular shape, no overbite. Are dummies different than thumbs, orthodontically?

So, as much as I don't like dummies on older children, to be honest I would prefer a 5 year old with a dummy to a teen who sucks a thumb.

TrillianAstra · 20/04/2010 21:57

Sounds awful to me, sorry.

Original poster

missmoopy · 20/04/2010 21:59

I value all opinions, but am intrigued as to why those who dislike the ides do so? Is it not just same as thunb, comfort blanket, cuddly toy that children have to all ages?

Is it more about value judgements about people who use dummys?

OP posts:

Original poster

missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:02

Sorry for appalling spelling! Tired.

OP posts:

beesonmummyshead · 20/04/2010 22:04

Doesn't sound bad to me. DD is 2.7 and loves her dummy. She has it for bedtime and rest-time, although once she drops her daytime nap, it will be for bedtime only.

My mum took my dummy away just before I turned 5 and I intantly replaced it with my thumb. I sucked my thumb WAAAAY more than I ever sucked my dummy. Watching tv, in class whilst listening to teacher, reading books etc.

DD's dummy falls out when she is asleep, she often replaces it when she wakes, but I imagine one would do this with a thumb.

I sucked my thumb until aged about 10 when I grew out of it. My teeth returned to "normal" with no noticable overbite (at one stage the overbite was quite big).

I don't have a proble with any kind of comforter, though do have a problem with the public pressure to ditch the dummy. It is my daughter's comfort in a big scary world.

thesecondcoming · 20/04/2010 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shaz10 · 20/04/2010 22:04

I was a late dummy user and have straight teeth, no braces etc. And my enunciation is excellent! I am of course biased but I don't see the harm. She will grow out of it - how many adults have dummies?

ADuckCalledBill · 20/04/2010 22:07

I think that people don't like it because the dummy is for babies to mimic the feeding motion of suckling to comfort themselves. By 5yrs old that sort of comfort sounds....well...yucky! A 5 yr old should be able to comfort themselves in other ways - cuddling a teddy etc.
Well I know what I mean, just can't think of a better way of expressing it

seeker · 20/04/2010 22:08

My ds goes to sleep with the tail of his toy dinosaur in his mouth and he's 9! I was visiting my very pregnant 35 year old niece a while ago, and saw her cuddled up under a rug on the sofa sucking her thumb!

My 14 year old dd still goes to bed with her teddy bear, and I need to listen to the radio to go to sleep.

If it's just at bed time and as soon as she's asleep it falls out or you remove it I can't see any harm at all, if it makes her happy.

Rindercella · 20/04/2010 22:09

I sucked my thumb until I was a teenager. I have bloody awful teeth.

I think that it's probably not a good thing for your DD to still be using a dummy.

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