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Original poster

Okay, am prepared for abuse and suggestions of being a terrible mother, but is it SO bad that 5 year old has dummy?

161 replies

missmoopy · 20/04/2010 21:32

My dd (5) STILL has her dummy and shows no signs of wanting to give it up.

She is bright and happy and I am really not that bothered about her having it. She only has it at bedtime as she feels it helps her relax.

Occasionally I have visions of her at 18 packing her dummy to go to Uni, but generally I am fine with it.

What do you think? And, if you think it is awful,how do I encourage her to give it up??

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Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:45

I do worry about her sucking her thumb as so hard to break habit, which is another reason not fussed about taking dummy away.

OP posts:
Missus84 · 20/04/2010 22:45

"Dentist says it may cause overbite, but it hasn't as yet. No palate issues."

But surely you won't see the problem until damage has already been done? I'd quit while you're ahead!

Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:47

springy I do understand that can be the case, but its not here. She is a confident child and we encourage age appropriate independence.

OP posts:
Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:48

missus after 5 years of dedicated dummy addiction I think we would have seen any damage if there was going to be any. the dentist would also see it starting and developing at her regular check ups.

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SpringyThingy · 20/04/2010 22:49

Like I said...certainly NOT passing judgement, just pondering the question over why it's not socially acceptable.

wannaBe · 20/04/2010 22:52

well the difference between thumb sucking and a dummy is that a baby will naturally find their thumb whereas a dummy is something parents give to their babies usually for their own peace and quiet.
Personally I think they're vile, but totally unacceptable for a five yo imho.

The question really is, would you let her have it in public? If not then you have your answer really don't you?

Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:52

I know you aren't making judgement springy, it's fine

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WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/04/2010 22:54

veggiemummy I agree with you re the dummy being replaced by something else - my sister was a chronic nail-biter after her dummy was no more and I wonder if that was related. As with everything I've done with my dd, I'd rather it be HER decision to get rid of it, steered by dh and me obviously but ultimately she has to decide that she's too old for it! My next step is to seperate her dummy from her blankie really She can keep a blankie as long as she likes - my mangy old thing only disappeared from my bed when I left home at 19! Eek!

Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:55

wannaBe if you read OP she has it ONLY at night, in bed. So no, she doesn't have it in public, but not out of any shame on my part.

ANd we gave her it because she was a fractious unhappy baby with gastric reflux who found it difficult to settle. NOT for my "peace and quiet".

OP posts:
SpringyThingy · 20/04/2010 22:57

Aaah feeling the love! Am off to bed, but my conclusion is this: You need to weigh up which you'd prefer...wonky teeth or shrunken thumb. I hate dummies, but at least there are braces...not sure about thumb extensions?

WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/04/2010 22:57

wannabe I think that's a bit of a sweeping generalisation! My dd was given a dummy on the advice of the midwife so that my nipples could have a bit of a break!

Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:57

wicked I feel we are on same liberal dummy mummy wavelength!

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Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 22:59

springy

OP posts:
WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/04/2010 22:59

pmsl at thumb extensions! yeah, that's a bit wrong isn't it?!

Anyway, I had to have train track braces and the scary head brace as a teenager and I never had a dummy OR sucked my thumb. My sister the dummy addict didn't have to have braces at all. Take from that what you will!

WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/04/2010 23:01

missmoopy I think we might be on our own!

Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 23:01

Think that is called sods law!

OP posts:
Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 23:02

Ah well, wicked, at least we have each other!!

OP posts:
WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/04/2010 23:02

ah, it's a very special club to be in!

Original poster
missmoopy · 20/04/2010 23:04

the slummy dummy mummys!

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WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/04/2010 23:07

brilliant! I'm nicking that!

MmeLindt · 20/04/2010 23:08

I found that the fear of taking the dummy off DD (when she was about 3.5yo) was much worse than the reality.

We had one sleepless lunchtime nap, one upset girl at bedtime and then it was forgotten about.

I was told that it would damage the teeth and DD used to turn the dummy upside down and already had an overbite.

DreamTeamGirl · 20/04/2010 23:13

Oooh can I join the slummy dummy mummy club too?

DS was 5 in Feb and still has his, also only at night, although he did have it when lying on sofa with Scarlet Fever too, and also gets quite upset at the thought of loosing it

His teeth seem ok- no 'o' shape forming that I can tell but we do have a wobbly front tooth, and I have muted that when that goes the dummy has to
Very concious of the fact that he has been a 'sucker' his whole life- he also had bad reflux- and I do worry that he will stick his thumb in, and knowing him he would have it in all day every day if he did, which is BOUND to be worse

Will do a dentist visit as we are due anyway plus the wobbly tooth and see how things feel after that

differentnameforthis · 20/04/2010 23:20

My dd (6) had dummy until she was 3. Dd2 (21mth) has one also. So I am not against them.

I am very much of the camp that they do little harm to teeth to a certain point. But I have seem damage done by prolonged use of dummies (am a dental nurse).

Dd1 had very slight problems & once she lost the dummies, it self corrected. However, the older they get, the more damage done & the harder to correct it.

At 6 your dd will start to lose her upper baby teeth, so the adult teeth are already in place to start the process of moving the baby teeth. If they are hitting against the dummy, they too will come through incorrectly & the potential for them to self correct is very limited. So you are looking at future orthodontic (braces) which you may have to fund yourself.

I say that you really need to remove the dummies now, to give the new teeth a good chance of coming through with little problem as possible. 5 really is too old (dentally speaking) to have a dummy.

differentnameforthis · 20/04/2010 23:39

"after 5 years of dedicated dummy addiction I think we would have seen any damage if there was going to be any. the dentist would also see it starting and developing at her regular check ups"

No the case, as I stated below the damage can come with the new adult teeth & you won't see that until they are through. Then if there is a problem, it won't be corrected until she is 12/13.

NHS orthodontics is fading fast, and by the time she is 13 I am pretty sure there will be no such thing. So you are looking at a 2k-3k bill for something that could be prevented by taking away something she doesn't need!

And I am disgusted at your dentist...no dentist should advocate dummy use at 5 as OK.

differentnameforthis · 20/04/2010 23:50

I am not anti extended bf, haven't done it...got to 5 months with dd2!

But the nipple sits further back in the mouth & is very soft compared to either latex or silicone used in a dummy. The teat of a dummy sit directly behind the central incisors & in the palate.

Also, feeding isn't done for 8 hours overnight.