Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

If you found out that your child had said this to an adult, how would you react?

283 replies

sandyballs · 18/02/2008 15:49

A friend's DD stayed the night on Fri and was generally well behaved, if a bit moany and moody. Sat morning my DH was telling one of my girls off about something and this child said very loudly 'God, he goes on and on doesn't he', then followed this up with 'Will someone please shut him up'. She is 7. I was stunned and told her that this was unacceptable in our house, she cried and locked herself in the bathroom.

When I dropped her home I mentioned it to to her mum who didn't seem particularly bothered, she made light of it, saying that she probably didn't mean it as I interpreted it .

Just curious to see what the general view on MN is.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MamaQuim · 18/02/2008 15:50

I'd apologise profusely to you if it were my child but be peed off that you'd made her cry!

Nowt as contrary as a mother, eh?

Maidamess · 18/02/2008 15:51

I think I probably would have made a remark like 'Goodness, thats a cheeky thing to say to a grown up! Do you want me to tell Mummy you are saying things like that!'

I'm not sure I would have 'told her off'. Were you more worried about what the mum would think about her crying than what she said to your dh? I think I would have been!

Original poster

sandyballs · 18/02/2008 15:51

Really MamaQuim? I didn't shout at her, I just told her very calmly that she was being rude and it wasn't acceptable.

OP posts:

MamaQuim · 18/02/2008 15:51

yup, sorry

colditz · 18/02/2008 15:52

I be very upset that my 7 year old thought it appropriate to comment on a grown man's behavior in such a bloody rude manner, but then, she's probably learned to behave like that from her mother, so don't expect her mother to be surprised!

VanillaPumpkin · 18/02/2008 15:52

I would be gutted. Sadly this is the type of thing my moany moody dd1 may well do in the future despite all my attempts at instilling some manners .
She drew on the tables a school just before half term (she is nearly 5 and started in Jan) and I almost went red when I read the note about that in her contact book.

twospecialgirls · 18/02/2008 15:52

yeah i agree i would be really mad if you made my dd cry but utterly embarassed at what she had said at the same time !!!

twospecialgirls · 18/02/2008 15:52

yeah i agree i would be really mad if you made my dd cry but utterly embarassed at what she had said at the same time !!!

MrsMattie · 18/02/2008 15:52

I don't think you 'made her cry'. She was being a cheeky little madam, and presumably you told her so? If she isn't used to being disciplined, it was probably a shock to be told off. But I would have done the same.

colditz · 18/02/2008 15:53

She probably knew it was unacceptable, and that's why she cried and locked herself in the bathroom.

WideWebWitch · 18/02/2008 15:53

No big deal, I expect she's repeating something she's heard, I wouldn't get worked up about this.

VanillaPumpkin · 18/02/2008 15:54

You dealt with it how I would so wouldn't be annoyed with you that you had made dd cry. [hard mummy emoticon].

colditz · 18/02/2008 15:54

I wouldn't be worked up about it if I were you. She will get over it and it may teach her a lesson her parents obviously haven't managed to yet.

Original poster

sandyballs · 18/02/2008 15:54

I'm surprised that you'd all be so upset that I'd 'made' your child cry, rather than what she had actually said.

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 18/02/2008 15:55

I'd be really embarrassed.

I agree with Mrs Mattie.

MamaQuim · 18/02/2008 15:55

sandy i'd be mortified DD had said it, but pissed off tht she's cried.

I don't let my 8 year old go to sleepovers

hecate · 18/02/2008 15:55

I'd be furious that my child had been so insolent and embarrassed that your hospitality had been repaid with such an attitude. I'd think I had to buck up my parenting ideas!

I'd make her apologise in a letter and I'd begin some work on manners!

Bad manners and insolence in children is something that really gets me angry. mess and noise won't even register but forget to say please or thank you, or speak with a bad attitude and I'm breathing fire!

Original poster

sandyballs · 18/02/2008 15:56

I'm not getting worked up about it, it's just that her mum seems to be ignoring my text messages and stuff today, so was wondering what other mums would have done in the same situation.

OP posts:

bobsyouruncle · 18/02/2008 15:56

I would be annoyed my child had been so rude and glas you told her off. But it sounds like she gets away with being rude at home and that's why she cried. Not really your problem!

fartmeistergeneral · 18/02/2008 15:57

I don't know you, but am quite sure you didn't yell and scream at her, terrifying her into bursting into tears and locking herself away for her own safety.

She was probably a bit taken aback and embarrassed - hence the tears and shutting herself away!

I would (and have) told my children's friends that certain behaviour is 'unacceptable' in a calm voice.

Mrs Mattie is right, she must have picked up those words from mum/dad at home!!!

Quattrocento · 18/02/2008 15:57

How would I react? Badly I think.

TheFallenMadonna · 18/02/2008 15:57

Given that sandyballs has said that the crying was as a result of being told calmly that her comments were not acceptable, how do think she should have handled it instead?

twospecialgirls · 18/02/2008 16:00

i agree i would be embarrassed but sometimes kids are rude even though you try your hardest to teach them manners so it doenst mean that all children who are rude have parents who dont bother or are rude themselves !!! i still however dont think its any other mothers place to dicipline my child i will do that my self - hence she isnt allowed to sleepovers!

Original poster

sandyballs · 18/02/2008 16:02

The thing is, if I had just ignored her comments, what kind of message is that sending out to my two girls, who were stood next to her at the time?

I'm quite surprised at these responses. If DH had got his way she would have been in the car being driven home straight away, even though she wasn't due home for another 4 hours.

OP posts:

Wisteria · 18/02/2008 16:02

I think you were absolutely right to tell her that her comments were unacceptable and I am a bit that some posters on here would be cross with you.
That is terrible behaviour and I would have been ashamed if either of my children had been so rude and pleased that they had been disciplined by you.

I agree if a child speaks like this then they have got the attitude from somewhere; probably their own parents so I wouldn't take it to heart - just don't invite her back - I bet your little girl was shocked wasn't she? I certainly wouldn't have wanted my child making a return visit.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12