FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

[Nikki74]

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

Nikki74. Welcome to Mumsnet, by the way.

"mummy, my willy won't go down!" (my ds1 when aged 3, early one morning)

"It's not chocolate!" (a pretty good answer I once heard to "How do you know you don't like brocolli if you won't try it?")

"MAM! The baby is eating Auntie!" (my panicked 3 year old cousin on witnessing breastfeeding)

"Why is Winnie a poo?" (confused ds1)

Got tons more of things my darlings have come out with, just trying to remember them all with a foggy pg brain!

Ds1 (6) has come out with a few classics. He called his Headmistress "The Headmystery" He then told me that she was known as the Headmystery because she wears a bun in her hair!
Also, while he was looking through his childrens encyclopeadia, he came across the reproduction page. There was a picture of the sperm all gathered around the egg & he seemed to be studying it for some time. Just as I was thinking how best to explain it all to him when he asked, he said "Mummy - look at that funny eyeball looking at all the fireworks!!"
I must admit that a sense of relief swept over me!!!

A related one - DS(4.5) was sitting on the loo having a fiddle. He then told DH that he had eggs "down there" to help make babies. DH says, no, you don't have eggs. DS says, yes I have two, I can feel them!

DD1 (6): I'm going to marry 'X' and have eight babies

X's mum: Gosh! Eight babies, that's a lot. Do you know how expensive babies are?

DD2 (4): They're priceless

And another of dd1's - one of my all-time favourites (from when she was about 3):

My childminder says that if you eat lots of carr'ots you get to see in the dark, so I'm going to eat lots of carrots and then, if I wake up in the night, I'll be able to see whether or not it's light yet and I'll know whether it's time to get up'!

carr'ots??????? Think I've just invented a new vegetable

dd1 told dh that she'd been shopping in 'walrus' (woolworths !)

and once sang..."we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new EAR"

haha to them all! my cousin asked my grandad if he had his hair shot off during the war

At our holiday cottage last week, there were plastic protective sheets on all the beds. Dh explained to dd that sometimes older people wet themselves and it was to protect the bed. DD then says "Oh do you do that mummy, as you are quite old".

my dh asked our 4year old ds if he knew any spanish words our ds hesitated then answered 'yes Spain'. ROFL. also dd who is 2 cant say 'f' and was telling her grandma that she had 'pish' for her dinner

My dts (2.8) love to put on thier own cocks and wousers(socks and trousers)

Established recently that 18-month-old DS had always thought that Muffin McClay (Old English Sheepdog in the Hairy Maclary books) was a lion...

Message withdrawn

When my DH was small, apparently a visitor to his parents' house noticed the library books in the hall waiting to be taken back, and said to DH 'I see you belong to the library'. To which he replied scornfully 'Of course I don't belong to the library: I belong to my mummy and daddy'.

i was sat in docs waiting room with ds on wed morn and little boy sat next to his mum says, as quietly as he can:
'mum, that lady is really FAT'
everyone turned to look at him as it was deadly silent, smiling/laughing so he promptly covered his face with his hands.
i was laughing but his mum was bright red!

I love these threads!!

Last Christmas my niece (aged 5 at the time) was crying. When my brother asked her what was wrong she said she had lied to Santa. When my brother asked her what she said, she wailed 'I told him I was good!'

LMAO

DS1, who was 4 at the time, crushed a snail and said it was a snail pretending to be a slug!

We also get "whingerbreadmen" for gingerbreadmen, which we find very funny - used to be "Pidermen"!

Thinking of grandparents, when I was six my brothers and I asked my grandad why he was bald, he said it was from doing too many headstands - needless to say, we refused to do them in PE from then on......and my ds1 calls my dh's bald spot a "circle", thinking on that topic. "Hey daddy, I can see your circle!" And he refuses to kiss dh too - when asked why, we get "because he's furry!" (dh has a goatee). Kids say the cutest things!

most brilliant recent offering from my dd (who is just three) in queue at supermarket:

'mummy, why is that man looking at your boobs?'

genius!

On seeing the less gory birth pictures of dd2, dd1 piped up 'mummy, did you say "ouch"?'

Haven't read all these but think mines quite funny. Scene : I'm in public loos at motorway restaurant, so very busy and its about 6 weeks into my DD's potty training, also our first long trip without nappies. So my dd has just used loo and its my turn next, obviously we are shaing the cubicle.

DD says at the top of her very loud voice
" Oh well done mummy you did a big poo!" huge applause from darling dd follows.

How long do you leave it before exiting the cubicle?

dd who is aged 22 months is always telling people that she is wearing her "willies" (she means wellies).

Yesterday whilst driving she said "knock knock" (5 year old brother is a great joke teller) to which I replied "whos there" to be told "never mind"

pmsl bouncyball

ds,4 at the time, walking past a very fat man in asda, "Wow mummy look at him, did he eat all the pies!!"

dd, 3, in a very busy shower block when camping " mummy, you've got a really wobbley bum and its all hairy at the front"

OMG we were howling when our dd aged 7, was singing (she has loved pop music since birth)to the kelly clarkson song '\i never strayed too far from the sideboard'' (because of you) tee hee.

In the shops my dts nearly 3 were talking to each other holding hands. "my got nits" supposed to be my got an itch! hasten to say we got some funny looks and people moving away!