FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

[Nikki74]

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

While out and about the other day I said to DS (5) as a treat shall we take the bus home? To which he rolled around laughing and said, dont be silly mum, it wont fit through the front door

leander
I'm not usually the funny one at parties, very sociable but not the miss popular that everyone heads for in a guarenteed good for a laugh kind of way BUT boy did that motorway toilet story go down well at my last night out.

See our children are good for many things even increasing my party-cred!!!

another great question from my three year old today. - "mummy, why has your winkle (family name for, well, you know...) got fluff in it?"

in the toilets at the park.

no-one mentions the forthcoming ritual humiliation when you are preg, do they???

dd (2.9), after a whole, very long, day pretending to be Dora the Explorer (and refusing to answer to anything else), in reply to me saying 'come on Dora, its bath time': 'Mummeeeee (sigh), I NOT Dora, I just Eli. Silly.'
She almost rolled her eyes

My dd aged 2.10 calls trampolines 'jumpolines'

she knows she was born by c section (we share a bath) but i dont know how she knows my sisters children were not but the other day she said

"mummy went to hospital and the doctor went sch sch sch (imitating a cutting sound with scissors) and out came baby lucy and Auntie Alison went ( and she sqatted) erghhhhhhhhh (straining noise) and olivia and Becca came out!!"(Together apparantly and they are 2 years apart!!)

My DD had a 'Bitchy Ite' the other day

Message withdrawn

My DS asks endless questions and I oblige in answering the questions (even though I'm ususally worn out by 9am as they really are endless).... Anyway, we were in our tesco express the other week and he was saying what he could see on the shelf as I pushed him in his buggy.. anyway, we rounded the bend and he shouted at the top of his voice 'PANTY LINERS!'... well, I could not stop laughing, which unfortunately made him shout the same thing out in the next shop we went in too, as he knew it was funny! The looks I got....

Mine (DD 5y) seem to revolve around toilets too.....

In public toilets (shared) - "why have you got a furry bottom?"
Left to her own devices in airport toilets while I washed my hands - "I am doing a huge poo and may be here all day"
And trying to distract me while I cleaned her teeth - "what's it like in a cat's bum?"

DS went through a phase of looking under ladies toilets and yelling 'I can see your hole'

Which is funny to me, but not to them

DS1 (who'll be 6 in a few days time) turned round on holiday in Zimbabwe and suddenly said (with great sencerity)

"Daddy - I look like you"!!!

Yesterday talking to ds1 (almost 5) about his day at school he was telling me about PE, and told me he had to take his socks off.

ME: Did you do it in bare feet?
DS: Nooooo (sounding confused)
ME: Did you wear your plimsolls?
DS: No mummy (taking his sock off), look, I have boys feet!

It took me a while to realise he said 'No' to having bear feet!

I am testng ovulation with wee sticks. I have [blush)to wee in a cup and all that.I try to be discrete...

dd walked in and saw me do it and give me a really funny look and then said "juice mummy?"

god knows what she thinks. next time she wants some juice i hope she doesnt think i am going to 'produce' it?!

ds1 (2.10) - (falls on floor, then gets up again)
me - "what was all that about"
ds1 (grinning) "you pushed me over"
me (sitting on sofa smiling) "i didn't"
ds1 (still grinning) "yes you did you pushed me over with your words"

ds1 falls to floor laughing his head off

me - very perplexed - have no idea what is going on in toddler world today

We were looking at photos of DS1 next to a church, just before he started school.

DS1: Oh, but you can't see the God logo on top of the church in this one.

Ds2 (4) was in the bath & said, "mummy, will you sing that song about..(racked his brain)..Donald Cardigan?". I worked out some minutes later that he meant Michael Finegan!!

dd is 2.9 and everything she says has us all in stitches everything at the moment is "we" very loudly in supermarket we dont want mmore wine do we mummy!!

obsessed with toilets! in public toilets looks under all of them and shouts are you doing a poo?

on the tube mummy you did a poo in your pants!!! i could have died!!! later in conversation now mummy did you wee before we got on the train coz we dont want wee in our pants do we mummy!!

nulnulchav- hows tricks? Hows your DD?

I've got a cold at the moment. DD (3) in doctor mode prescribed "padlocks". I was a bit confused until I realised that she meant Lockets.

NQC - love the 'God logo'. DS regularly comes out with spoonerisms - yesterday's was 'mawnlower' - 'Look mummy, there's a mawnlower'. DD regularly says 'par cark' instead of 'car park'.

DS (2.9)

You can't have a cuddle because I'm being a spaceman (as he stands there holding the floor mop ).

hi welshboris she is all better now thank you - we are at the hospital tomorrow the blood in poo was allergy related so off the wheat now and she has been diagnosed with adhd - suspected it for a while with her behaviour and outbursts but at least now i know why she does things and its not me being a crap mum!!

hmm this year pneumonia, meningitus, diabetes insipidus, more allergies and adhd - time for this mummy to have a breakdown!!!

she cant have sausage rolls anymore and it has not gone down too well!!!

Have been in changing rooms with terrible twins, age 3 at the time.I was tring on trousers, one said wow mummy dont you have big legs and other piped up yes and dont they wobble?!! I just heard titters rippling all the way up the changing rooms. I hid for a while.

Terrible 2 also ran off in tesco, one got found by staff. When they called out over the tannoy for me ds refused to come to me and said i was not his mummy! Had to go and get other half of twin duo, luckily identical, to prove he was mine. How mortifying

DS2 told me he was glad to be in year 1 as he would be a leopard in the nativity this year.

An old fav is when ds1 and ds2 were asking where my next baby would come out. I told them I had a special place to which ds2 replied "What your special fluffy place?"
Have actually PMSL at bouncyball, fubsy's cat's bum and southeastastra's grandad's hair!