FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

[Nikki74]

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

DS1 (3y 6m) is very taken with my habit of involuntary swearing & trying not to.

Last week he asked me 'is 'oh for goodness sake' the f-word, mummy?'

He likes to shout 'f-word!' and then claim he is NOT being rude.

Also after hearing his dad's Public Enemy CD he took to shouting 'Don't Believe the Hype!' most of Xmas.

I've started a funny things our DP's say thread to supplement this one

Message withdrawn

my dd (age2) was having one of those nites where she had every excuse in the book for not going to sleep, want juice, need peppa pig, I dropped my fimble (and various other bedtime "pals") etc... after attending to everything I then asked her to close her eyes and go to sleep. she looked at me held her eyes open and said "they not workin mummy" I had to leave the room to laugh

another thing I apparently said when I was younger to my balding (now completely bald)uncle. "uncle Michael why haven't you got a fringe?"

God I could spend all night reading these funnies dh is out playing poker and I'm in alone (apart from dd) so needed a good laugh thanks everyone!

just remembered my frinds ds one christmas when he was about 3 he said farmer christmas was coming. I asked if he was coming on a tractor, he looked at me like I was stupid and said NO! on a ledge with red deers.

My funniest thing to date is what my DD3 said we were walking through a remembrance garden near the town when a very sweet looking dog came up and sniffed her, DD3 is absolutely terrified of dogs) I thought this was the ideal opportunity to talk to the owner of the dog and talk about it etc. I asked what the dogs name was- The owner replied "Its Candy" DD3 Replied" we have a washing machine called Candy".I could of sank through the floor in her eyes she was correct in my eyes I began to realise she could actually read more than I gave her justice for

my friends dd asked "wheres Store?"
What do you mean "where's Store?" asks mum.
dd says "Well the food packet says Made in Store!"

she will go along way, honest.

Ds is 2.5 and recently developed a very annoying habit of kicking at me while eating his meals.
I explained how unkind this was & that only donkey's kicked not little boys...
Ds thought for a moment and then shook his head sadly & said
'Mummy I wish I was a donkey & then I could kick you couldn't I?'

bloomin heck!

Had DD2 in town this morning whilst DD3 was in Ballet- she was obviously bored although she is not the kind to moan! She asks "can I go to Woolworths" "No" I reply(shes 9 and a half)"oh do you have to cross roads to get there?" "yes" I reply. Silence. I then ask her would she like to go to the Newsagents just along the road on her own and get a drink and a packet of crisps- her face lights up"yes please" she replies, I give her some money and off she goes. She is back in less than 2mins"whats the Newsagents called?" she asks. I answered" Im sure its just Newsagents!" "oh" says DD2. Im getting slightly worried by then and ask her"Do you know what a Newsagent is?" "yes" she replies "Its where you buy houses from isnt it" AARRGGHH

my fil was reading dd a bedtime story, she pointed to a fairy and said 'look at the pretty fairy grandpa its got a butterly on' meaning the wings

tried a new cannelloni recipe out today and dd said the sparrow was delicious - i hope she meant the spinach

PMSL Pinkbubble

DD (aged 6) says she is looking forward to her INSECT day

took me ages to figure out she mean INSET day.

DS (3) banged his head at the weekend, felt the bump and said 'mummy I have a hill on my head'

So cute!

Driving one day and we were all having a discussion about the royal family. 'Do you know who the queen is?' I asked my daughter who was six at the time. 'yes' she said disgusted, 'I also know who the king is' she replies cock sure'. 'Oh, and who is that sweet'. I asked.....

Big sigh.... A huge tut and she said 'Elvis Presley'. Hence to say I nearly crashed the car.... She is sixteen now and would kill me if she knew I had told people!!

My DD's(3 year old twins) had us confused this week they've been randomly saying in a deep funny voice 'Barbara Streisand' at any available moment. We wondered what on earth was going on, but theres a song!! (how out of touch we are!) I've downloaded it now and expect HAVOC this afternoon.

Been having some bedtime troubles recently with DS who is nearly 7. Had a big talk about it all with him last night and thought things should be better tonight. No such luck. So it all starts going pear shaped again and the dear boy chips in with: "Come on mum, I thought we sorted all this out yesterday. You control me in the day, and I control you at bedtime!"

DS2 (just turned 4) recently asked if you could eat rabbit; I said yes and asked him if he wanted to eat rabbit. He said no and when I asked him why not, he replied that it was 'boring and weird.' The cutest thing he came up with though was after he went to a birthday party 3 weeks ago and got a balloon with the party bag: he asked us whether if he sat on the balloon he would be able to fly, bless him.

Only today my DD 2.2 heard me call one of my older DD 22.2 a numpty and immediately said 'yes Haha (what she calls her) you Humpty Dumpty
Too cute

my ds and dh were play fighting when my ds pulled his fist up and says "you want one of these"

my nephew to me. "are you pregnant?" to which i replied no why and my nephew says "well, coz you have a really fat tummy."

ds "mummy i know how cows are milked"
me " oh how's that then"
ds "well the farmer gets a chair and sits under the cow and pulls its willys untill white stuff comes out of them and then its cooked to make milk."
me (laughing my head off) "no ds theyre not called willys they are udders"

Dgd aged 6 at the time was trying to teach her 3 year old brother some phonics:
dgd-tell me something beginning with B[buh]
dgs-b-b-b-b......bider!!!![spider]

Dgd later drew him a spider picture with the caption b-b-b-b.....spider on it with the word spider printed underneath.