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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

370 replies

Nikki74 · 08/09/2006 11:11

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Snowstorm · 19/09/2006 22:16

DD1 to DH when she first noticed his bits: "OH Daddy! You've got a tail!" (cue stifled hysterics by me, leaving DH to deal with the situation.)

Fast forward another year ...

DD2 to DH: "Daddy! What a BIG bottom you've got ... (cue more immature hysterics by me ....)

RoxyNotFoxy · 23/09/2006 22:36

5 yr old dd goes to garden shed where cat has gone into "confinement"...arrives just in time to see cat giving birth...runs into kitchen shouting "Mummy, there are fishes coming out of Tiddles's bottom!"

(My first post. What a bad impression I must have made....)

Toady · 24/09/2006 20:54

That is hilarious RoxynotFoxy, .

This morning my daughter woke up and we went downstairs. I put her on the sofa beside her brother, they were both still half asleep. I then turned the light on. She rolled her eyes, huffed and said "Mummy the light is too bright" and then sighed at me. She is only 2.10 yrs.

wrinklytum · 24/09/2006 21:07

DS is quite faddy about eating meat at times and is currently mad about sausages .(High meat content ones given I hasten to add)Anyway,dp had made a meal with ham in it and in desperation to get ds to eat the ham dp told a little white lie when ds asked "Is it sausage,Daddy?" whilst staring suspiciously at the ham in it."Yes" lies Daddy blatantly ,as he has spent ages making this dish,and is hoping ds will eat it.Ds contemplates this and then asks "Is it FLAT sausage,Daddy??".Daddy is having flat sausage sandwiches for work tommorow......

dunfiebabe · 24/09/2006 21:54

aahh the innocence of babes - i know the clapping in the toilet cubicles whilst toilet training well and once when i had my period my dd asked "mummy why have you poo -pooed in your pants?" - quite a wait before leaving the toilets!!

speedymama · 25/09/2006 13:41

One of my 2yo DTS got hold of a packet of my tampons, took one out, held it up to me and screamed "Ice-lolly"!

JackieNo · 25/09/2006 13:46

wrinklytum, we had 'flat broccoli' for quite a while (aka cabbage).

Wisp · 25/09/2006 14:13

I was mortified last week when ds1 (4) piped up

" Daddy, if you like boobies, you have to put a message on the internet saying you like boobies and then you'll get some!"

After several attempts of me asking what he meant he said
" Well for my Birthday when I see something I like you get it off the internet and the postman brings me a present"
phew!!

mistypeaks · 25/09/2006 14:57

My 15 month old is learning to talk so no actual funnies yet, but in her babbling we thought she was say the 'c' word over and over again and couldn't work out where she's heard it and were terrified of going out in public till she stopped - however after listening very carefully we realised she was actually saying good good good (as in good girl which she DOES hear a lot) BIG sigh of relief!

melpomene · 25/09/2006 15:04

dd1 (3), said that teddy needed to go to hospital for 3 months "because he?s got a sore throat and he?s got a skeleton inside him.?

Once at bathtime, she put the bath thermometer into the bathwater. I asked her what the temperature was and she said "twenty past bubbly".

Another time when her fingers went wrinkly after she'd been in the bath for a while, she wailed "Oh no! My lovely fingers! They're RUINED!"

Dunnyjo · 25/09/2006 15:49

lol these are so funny! pmsl at all of these.
Today ds 2.8 was singing twinkle star and came up to me saying (in middle of the song) 'mummy i have a problem' with a very concerned look on his face lol he had forgotten the words!

RoxyNotFoxy · 25/09/2006 18:46

Here's one my mum told me. She was born near the end of WWII when everything was rationed, and you needed coupons to buy just about anything. And that continued for a few years after the war while she was growing up. One Xmas they had a chicken and she said "Yummee! Bacon!". Her mum and dad couldn't convince her that it wasn't bacon. She kept insisting that it was, and it became a family joke for years.

She told me that it was only some time in the last ten years that the penny finally dropped, when she remembered that in those days people often called a chicken a capon. And that's what her parents must have been calling it. She figured out that she must have arrived at her misunderstanding by some long train of word sounds and word associations.
Chicken - capon - coupon - ration - rasher - bacon!

Jaffacake1 · 03/10/2006 23:10

bump

i want more funny stories

maggiesmama · 03/10/2006 23:11

my dd asked me to sing her the alibi about the porcupine today.

she meant the lullaby 'hush little baby'...

2nervesleft · 03/10/2006 23:30

Really enjoyed these, pelvic floor strugging to cope. My DD (4) told my mum she loves going to the cinema with daddy because she loves Cockporn(popcorn)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

maggiesmama · 03/10/2006 23:31

yeah. my dd likes borrowing my 'cock-in-wool' to cleanse her face

GooseyLoosey · 04/10/2006 09:49

We recently had a skip outside our house and ds 1 (3) asked what it was for. I explained that it was to put old things in. He thought about this for a while and then said Grandpa is old - can we put him in the skip too? Not completely sure that Grandpa would see the funny side of this though!

Ruth2808 · 04/10/2006 10:34

I was taking my ds1 to burger king for a special treat and on the way in the car he kept saying "Can we have an add this time mummy" I had no idea what he was going on about so I asked him. He said "Can we have an add this time" I said you need to explain. He finally said "because we normally have a takeaway so can we have an add this time" I was in hysterics for quite some time.

Original poster

Nikki74 · 04/10/2006 12:06

lol I am so pleased I started this thread because it's sooo funny - 2nervesleft - you had me in stitches with the 'cockporn' - superb!!

Just another one to add - last night when I went upstairs I heard my dd1 singing that song by Sandi Thom - Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.....
DD1's version went like this.....oh I wish I was a prawn cracker with flowers in may hair......

OP posts:

dizzymeg · 04/10/2006 13:23

my dd (11 wks) can't say embarassing things yet, but boy does she show me up with her trumps !! On the phone to bank the other day while BF her. Suddenly stops sucking and does huge trump . Apologised to man on other end of phone and tried to explain. Not sure he believed it was a baby and not me.
DH keeps using her as cover-up for his .

Can't wait til she starts talking.... (from her mouth !)

Just realised how to use smileys, so sorry for overload !

saltire · 04/10/2006 13:49

speedymama, the "tampax" ice lolly is similar to something my DS1 did when he was younger. He was in back garden, i was washing dishes and i heard him say
"Hannah, me having ice-lolly, you want ice lolly". I thought it was him being really kind until i realised we didn't have any ice lollies. Went outside to find him with huge multipack of tampax, throwing them over the fence to hannah!
The embarassment of having to knock on door and ask for my tampax back

lukenjoesmummy · 04/10/2006 13:56

I was changing ds's nappy in the park and he was squinting, so I said "is the sun in your eyes?", he looked at me like I was barmy and replied "no mummy it's in the sky!"

Yesterday on the way to pick his brother up from school he said "I have to walk on the paperment or the cars will kill me!"

I wish I could remember more - I should start writing them down.

katiebirdie · 04/10/2006 13:59

sounds exactly like my son (8weeks) dizzy meg! i dont even explain anymore as think it makes me look even guiltier!

thenel · 04/10/2006 14:05

dst1 calls dd1 moo! and dd2 mi-erm dosent sound nothing like there real names lol

CheesyFeetcomingtoGETyou · 04/10/2006 14:24

dd was sitting in the back of the car the other day yelling "Bastard Bastard" at the top of her voice (Faster faster, of course)

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