Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

Happy Birthday to the twins for yesterday!!!!

I do see myself as being very fortunate to have some very good and close friends that help to keep me sane.

As I live abroad I don't really get any family support. My inlaws are getting on a bit now and their children have lots of kids themselves to keep them busy.

Getting out with DH certainly helps as well. I've also joined a gym recently to help me get back in shape but also uts a great way to have some time to myself.

Karate sounds fun.

Have to run now as boys are getting tired and need to be in bed. Then its dinner with DH and off to the gym (if I have the energy left)!

You say you live abroad, where? just out of interest, so I can visualise the nice warmth if your anywhere near to it!

Nowhere nice and warm I'm afraid sleepysooz.

Don't want to lose my anonimity so will leave you to wonder. Sorry.

Well anyway, I live in sunny Nottinghamshire, England, its windy but quite warm at the moment, kids are on half term holidays, inset day today aswell, twins been ok, although I have had home start to help out today, (god-send)!

I have had a letter from Health Visitor to say she is coming to see me next week, goodness knows what I said to the doctor last week, I am hoping its something to do with the twins sleeping patterns

Hi sleepysooz.
A nottinghamshire lass then eh! I am originally from Leicestershire so not too far from you.

Whats Homestart???!!

DH is out tonight so I am snuggled up in front of tv ready to watch a dvd. Boys are alseep (had a brilliant day and they were wrecked).

Hia reece! Homestart are a voluntary home help that I have had since twins were 10weeks old, they help out with the children, although not allowed to leave them and nip to shops, can go to bed though and leave them in her care, I do bits of housework, but mainly we sit and play with kiddies and chat, as I don't see many people its nice!

Glad you've had a nice day, I suppose we have, bit manic though shopping for winter clothes and shoes, got a big hole in my pocket now! spent far too much.

I was a live-in nanny at Blaby in Leicester when I was a teenager (early 1980's) good live concerts at Dermonfort Hall if I remember!

Yes, Demontfort Hall! I saw all manor of people there including dare I say it, Shakin Stevens, The kinks, Jason Donovan,.....

I used to work in Blaby about 10 years ago!

Have to go to bed now. So tired. Night.

Shakin Stevens, Joan Armitradin(spelling) Andy Williams, Duran Duran, Dr Hook! many many more, gosh what terrible taste, I had free tickets though because my boss worked for Centre Radio (closed down now) I used to go back stage and meet bands after! I was even plegded in a charity auction on radio, I think I only raised £40 an old guy took me out for a meal and tried to get me into bed with him, I ran for my life! I was only 19yo he was about 45 (that was old to me then)

Yep I'm off to bed aswell, DH playing golf tomorrow, early, so I don't get a lie in!

lol about the dinner date!!!
I suppose it wasn't funny at the time though. Dirty old man! Ha Ha.

The years go by and before we know it we are no longer going to Demontfort Hall to watch Shaky but instead we are running around after little ones driving us bats!!

Have a good day.

DH is in bed hungover from his day out/night out yesterday. Lucky him getting a lie in.

I am an old fashioned gal at heart and I used to get myself into all sorts of dangerous situations because of my naivity!

I'm afraid I kept myself for my husband, not that he appreciated it, like you say its all a distant dream now with the hectic lifestyle of kids and schools and house.........

Trying twins at playgroup at the moment, but not much success, DD not toooo bad, but DS screams just the word 'playgroup' they have said to try him again after christmas, meanwhile I have to trek the otherside of the village (20 min walk) and still take DD. Starting after half term hols we'll see!

Problems cause I have never left them with anyone as don't have anyone I know, or rather that the children know, and don't go to mother and toddler groups cause I'm a lazy old cow and generally at work 1hour later so need to be getting ready for that!

Getting to the point now where I don't care if they are screaming I am just going to leave them, at least there is a village hall where they do coffee's next door to playgroup so I can just wait for the dreaded phone call to pick them up!

Try not to worry about leaving them. Easier said than done I know but after about a week (or maybe sooner) they will start to settle in and enjoy themselves. You won't know yourself then and might just be able to get some long awaited r & r.

DS1 has been a pain in the a** today

He started the day going nuts because he wanted a particular piece of toast that I didn't give him. He then left me a nice big wee and a poo in the middle of my kitchen floor (no pants or clothes on as we were in between getting dressed stage). Then as I took him out of the front door late morning he fell flat on his face, his tooth went through his lip and there was blood everywhere. I felt so sorry for him, comforted etc but he was so upset that the accident seemed to set the tone for the rest of the day.

He had a massive tantrum in the shops because I picked up some bananas and HE wanted to choose them. The tantrum continued all the way around the shop and he was grabbing everything from the selves. (This drives me crazy).

He cried all the way home and was miserable for most of the day. Didn't do anything I asked him to do all day. Ignored DH and I, threw toy bricks everywhere, hit me and DH many times etc etc.

I have lost count how many times he went on the naughty cushion and had his magazine/toy bricks confiscated.

I suppose it was just one of those days and now I am exhausted. DH has an operation tomorrow and will be off work in bed all week. That means there will be 3 little boys to look after!!!!!

You poor thing reece, you've got your hands so full this next week, hope the weather keeps dry for you then at least you can get out. If not, the good old indoor pic-nic always works a treat with mine, (in their tent) and plenty of art,(prit-sticking cut up cards) at least you can sit at the table doing that, not quite so tiring! books, oh we bought the twins a Leapfrog electronic book, they spend ages on that!

Its half term school holidays here in Notts, have booked DS1 into loads of activites at Leisure Centre, hope he appreciates them, can't really afford it, plus I let him out on his bike with friends last week, as long as he stayed within 200 yrds of home! I know he is nearly 11 but out on bikes!

Twins been quite well behaved lately, although it has been their 3rd birthday so they have fresh toys to play with, they are playing quite nicely together, dare I say 'perhaps we are through the terrible 2's' I know they have silly 3's, they giggle at anything silly or naughty! I prefer silly than tantrums, still have the 'I want that, no I want this' foodwise!

Anyway, off to bed, hope this next week doesn't prove too exasperating and I hope your DH is ok, good luck!

Hey there hows it going?

Today was a much better day. There was the usual naughty toddler behaviour from DS1 but it was under control.

DH is fine thanks. Nice to have his company. I don't mind looking after him when he's ill.

Tired now so off to bed soon.

More tomorrow......

ps. Sleepysooz - check out thread on "what your town is famous for". I posted on it tonight. Gives away my hometown

Hi - so glad I read this page. I thought my two year (two in two weeks) was possessed or something similar. DS has turned from a sweet, quiet, good natured baby in to the opposite. He screams, hits me and the latest at the moment is waking up about 10pm and absolutely screaming the place down for no apparent reason. He went beserk in the shop the other week because I had to turn round in an aisle and go back the way we had just come. Going on holiday this weekend, hope his behaviour improves.

JBW - well you're on the right thread now, although my twins just coming out of the terrible 2's (I dearn't speak tooo soon)

We can all sympathise with your problems, its a really trying time for how much patience we actually have, you think when you see other 2yo's around that your child would never be like that and hey ho here you are, rotten isn't it?

We still only get about 5 hours broken sleep per night, but twins still in own beds in one bedroom, after sleeping on bedsette with DH for last 2 years, I tell you its a major breakthrough.

Good luck and keep posted

Oh JBW I totally know where you are coming from on that one! The supermarket..... Turning down the aisle again and then DD having an almighty tantrum. My DS does things like that all the time. Everything has to be done in a certain order and if it isn't he gets very upset. Funny little things aren't they!

We had a rotten night last night

DS2 woke at midnight and was very upset. DH and I tried to settle him for about half an hour but he was not having any of it. The problem that we are having at the moment (and have for some time) is that we live in fear that 1 child will wake the other and then they both won't settle. So last night we ended up bringing DS2 into our bed. We know that this is the easy option and really not the right thing to do but we were just so tired. He then tossed, turned and hogged our wee 5ft bed all night
Oh, and when we made an attempt to return himn to his own room he screamed blue murder again and woke DS1!!!!! So DS1 couldn't get back to sleep at 3am and for the rest of the wee hours
Every 10 mins DS1 asked for drink, wee, drink, complained room was too dark, complained he could hear water (it was the heating)...etc... This went on until 5.30am! I have been shattered today but amazingly kept my cool all day and feel ok now. Must be the coffee
Is anyone else experiencing this kind of thing. I know you are sleepysooz

Ours didn't go to bed until 9.30pm - DH not very good at keeping a bedtime routine going! he just won't learn!

Wish I could help, but he does it because I work in an evening till 10pm or I go to Karate so to give them the consistency of a bedtime routine, my DH does it, (well he tries) obviously it needs tweeking

The nights still arn't brill, we can be up in the night 6+ times, aarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

HV coming on Friday to see how I'm getting on, doctors told her to come re- my depression, bet she's checking twins ok, mind you I must have cried buckets to warrant a visit. Havent taken anymore AD's just don't suit, but havent the courage to go back to the doctors, god it took me 2 years as it was, talk about weak!

Oh well, off to bed now, see if I can get 6 hours un-interupted sleep (fat chance) they wake up about mid-night onwards! we just put them back to bed then try to get back to sleep ourselves before the next one wakes up, it goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, (just so you get the picture)

Thats just what our nights have been like for ages now. I often wonder if its a phase or if DH and I are handling it totally wrong and they are into the habit of waking?! It's so difficult to know. I started a thread last night about it.

Saying all this our boys slept through from 7.30 - 8am!!!!! We were in shock when we woke after a full nights sleep. What was so different from the night before???

Maybe they were on catch up. Now both DS's are having a daytime nap!!!!!!!!!!! Whats going on???? Think we will have trouble with DS1 at bedtime later

Crap isn't it, (sorry I'm so knackered I could swear for England)

I better post tomorrow when I'm in a better mood, PMT, Depression, AARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGg!

Oh poor sleepysooz.

I don't think you are depressed, I think that its sleep deprivation thats changing your moods.

Because I had a great nights sleep last night I have been in great form with loads of energy all day. Well not loads, but more than normal. It has really benefited the children as I have spent more time with them doing fun stuff.

Bet I have a crap nights sleep tonight

Midterm break next week means I will hav both DS's with my at home all day. What will I do to entertain them!!!??? ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Chin up sleepsooz. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

Thanks Reece, I know sleep deprivation has a lot to do with my being fed up. HV coming tomorrow to check on twins, must be standard procedure when patients with children go on AD's, hope I can stay strong while she is here, I don't like her! she has never acknowledged my existance when at clinic for weigh-in sessions for twins.

We have our half term school holidays this week, its not been too bad, kept DS1 busy with Leisure Centre activities once a day, plus all his other normal stuff but he is a hyperactive handful, his school are at last recognising his dyslexia/dysphraxia and have asked for a report from his specialist (that we have paid for privately) took them long enough, he is in last year at Junior School.

Oh well off to bed, must be bright eyed and bushy tailed for HV in the morning

Sorry, hope you have another good nights sleep

Had another bad night I'm afraid.
I went to bed at about 10 to try and catch up on some sleep. I was exhausted. DS2 woke up coughing at 12.10 and from then on things fell apart.
He would not settle in his cot, tried pick up/put down etc. No joy. DH (who was still up) took him downstairs for some comfort and when he returned him he went nuts again. I was adamant not to let him into our bed so I ended up lying on DS's bedroom floor until 1am whilst DH snored his head off next door! Just as I went to leave DS he stood up and screamed again. I thought he was asleep. He just didn't want me to leave so I ended up going yet again to last resort, bringing him into our bed. He didn't settle wanted to play etc. At 2am DH was so fed up he took DS back to his own room and after 10 mins of crying he went to sleep.

Sorry about long winded post. It was just awful though. DS1 slept through thank god and is being very good today :

Hia reece, sorry you had such a rough night, its just not fair is it?

I had HV round on Friday, and she said it was ok for us to put stairgate up at twins bedroom door to stop them coming out and to just leave them to scream till they learn to get themselves back off to sleep! I think we are in for a rough couple of weeks, well a lot more rough than the 8 times getting up in the night?

Don't know when to intervene though, (as in controlled crying) god knows what to do if wake whole household up, plus each other being in same room!

Got to start reward charts, she said they are now old enough to understand, DS2 hates baths, hates nails trimmed, hates hair trimmed, hates hair washed, etc.... so he would get a star for his chart each time he did as he was told!

Had to put DD on naughty step twice whilst HV was there, she said I dealt with it very well, and that DD obviously reacted in a positive way! (star for me)

Local community nursery nurse (employed by doctors) is also going to settle DS into playschool for me (she know us) as he is extremely clingy. I am soo over the moon with that result!

She also said I have to go back to doctors to change AD's and she said she would come back to see how we are getting on 10 nov. AARRRGGGGGGHHHH!

Better get on with making reward charts, kids will love that!

Sorry that was a long post!