My lovely HV has been here for ds's 2 year check. I told her that HVs are (by and large)despised on MN.Can you post with examples of their idiocy,especially with regard to breastfeeding? I am going to print the thread and pass it on.

[moondog]

SabineJ... were you listening into my conversation??? except for of course that I have ds who still wakes up at nearly 2 and wakes up dd (nearly 5)... oh of course I can let him scream but then I'll have 2 knackered kids not to mention, dh, myself and the neighbours!

Was actually GP who suggested to take ds back into our bed... NO WAY! for ds our bed = playtime so no sleep to be had then anyway.

Never had the same HV twice in the time I was being visited at home with DS - home visits lasted about 2 weeks I think. Had PND for 18mths and had to self diagnose when DS was 12 mths old. REALLY struggled with BF and got no help what so ever, when I told the particular HV that was visiting that day I had blisters and feeding was agony her response was well is shouldn't be - but it is - no response, no help no suggestions!!

HV just started at DS when he screamed himself purple the afternoon after his 8 wk jabs.

His 2 year check was a paper questionnaire received in the post, and nothing suggested about a 3 year check either yet and he's turned 3.

Stopped going regularly as there doesn't seem to be any point. Get far more information of here than HV's have ever provided.

PrettyCandles,all posts are valid.
My HV is a friend too and I think she would find all of this facinating.

I scored really highly on the Edinburgh test after having dd2

and hv knew I had counselling when I was ttc in order to deal with some of issues surrounding already having a disabled child, because I'd asked her to organise it

so what did she do?

kept right out of my way. when I went to the clinic in tears about something or other she just gave me some brisk advice and bade me farewell

6mo babies who wake at night for a fed are "having you on".

Vegetable purees first because if you give them fruit first they'll never eat vegetables.

Only offer one breast a feed.

And I'm sure she's said other mental stuff - although I have a new one now who's lovely, so this wasn't her, it was my last one.

sorry but i have nothing bad to say about any of the 2 hv that i have had look after me and my babies. they were both great and i loved there company . i think my last health visitor (have moved and not met new one yet)used to come round because she actually liked our company too!!

Mine's crap. I explained that some days ds will have 8oz feeds and other days I struggled to get him to have 3/4oz feeds, she told me that babies were like adults, sometimes they were hungry, sometimes they weren't. Thanks that was helpful.

First HV I ever had, came to visit ds1 (2 weeks) and told me "he's very alert and a good colour, not sure why he's not gaining weight". Same thing two weeks later at which I asked if it might be an idea to get him looked at by a doctor - "Oh no, they are very busy at the surgery today". That afternoon I took him to the GP who immediately called an ambulance (HV insisted on coming with me in the ambulance!) and the Paediatric Consultant at hospital immediately diagnosed a heart defect and then proceeded to say (shout!) to the HV (who by that time looked pretty worried), "what, you SAW this baby this morning and didn't think to DO anything then????"

i want to say something positive too.
all the hv i have ever had have been absolutley fab. lots of good advice, and support, yet allowed me to do my own thing.

absolutley fab bunch of people

i had home visits every week for a while.
weekly visits at the baby clinic
referred to family support group who are fab when she though i needed more support than she could give.
got doctor to write out prescription and sign for me for antidepressants
suggested i use homeopathic medicines, which worked wonders on ds's colic.
did fab classes on weaning in which the actually showed examples of the type of mushiness to make food. and showed examples of cheapish blenders to use.
fabulosu people.

just don't get me started on this one! glad there is one good one out there.
Some of the things our local one has done (no children of her own by the way):

1. told a friend her son had got it 'wrong' because he crawled before he sat, it should be the other way round

2.asked another mother if she thought she financially stable enough to have another child when 3rd was on the way (like you can change it now!) 3.when my friend was pregnant with 4th asked her if she had marrital difficulties or problems with communication (did he forget to say I'm gonna get you pregnant now dear!!!) 4.asked me to fill out 5 depression questionnaires after birth of my first child even though there was nothing wrong with me and when I attempted to refuse after 3 she said the only person who had refused was clinically depressed (better fill it out then). she seemed surprised when I scored exactly the same on all 5!!! 5.knows my dad and aunt have cancer so asked if its familial and had I made a will (is she telling me I'm next!) 6.my DS is a large chap for 8mths but in proportion with his height and weight being on the 91st centile but each time she sees him she tells me shes watching out for his triple chins!!

Anyway she is disliked here by all I know and they each have their own example to tell.

for all the ones you hate, think of all the ones that actually help vulnerable people genuinely in need. at least you had mumsnet to ask.

mine was great.

My hv told me to give dairylee to my ds at 7 months.

Only positive experinces of HV for DS1 & DS2.

Shame to tar them with the same brush.

Only positive experinces of HV for DS1 & DS2.

Shame to tar them with the same brush.

1. Told that DS1 is deaf. Has been checked and discharged by local hospital but she still refuses to believe he can hear ok.
2. He's got a lazy eye which will def. need treatment. Hmmm, hospital and opthalmist disagree. Was told last week he needs no further sight tests other than what everyone else has as his eye sight is spot on.
3. He's got behaviour problems - compared to the kids he went to playschool with he's an angel.
4. He'll never fit in with Alpha Males.

It was the last comment that got me to ask for a different HV. New one is great. So they're not all crappy, just some of them.

When I was exhausted and in tears, and asking for advice on what to do about 4-month-old dd, who was feeding every 90 minutes and wouldn't nap unless in my arms or a moving pram, my hv suggested ...

... that I go back to work

I have an intollerence to milk. So it was important to breastfeed. I had mastitis. It was agony. Managed to carry on breastfeeding until he was 6 months. Then stopped he got an allergy to milk. Wish i had carried on. I am still breastfeeding daughter (17 months) and hoping she will go on to 2years. Then hopefully it will stop. No allergies so far in dd2. Fingers crossed.

have to say that HVs here were brilliant both times

1st time I had a MALE HV called Doug. He was the county expert in BF and was brilliant. My H & DB took the mick as couldnt see why a man would want to be a HV.

2nd time round had good HV who then left...and when DD was 9 mths, I rang the locum HV and cried on the phone to her. She came round within the hour, and told me I had PND and sent me to the drs.

have just had phone call from new HV about DD's 2yr check, and she is looking into speech therapy for my DS....

My health visitors have been helpful to me and have tried to offer advice in some very difficult situations.

However, the midwife who visited me the day after I got out of hospital was very unhelpful. My husband dared to ask a question about sterilising and she told him "It is your wife's job to feed your baby". She asked to wash her hands and we pointed her to our downstairs cloakroom. She refused to use it and demanded to wash her hands in the kitchen sink. Was convinced she was checking how tidy the house was, even though I only came out of hospital the night before after an 11 day hospital stay. A woman in my antenatal group found her have a nosy round her bedroom.

When we lived in Morayshire i had a right old harpy as my HV. She came round a few times when i was pregnant.
One time she told me that i would need to get my dogs put down cos "dogs always eat babies". Another time, when i said i was undecided on how to feed, she told me that i shouldn't have to even think about it, i would seriously jeopardise my child's health if i bottle fed.
She asked if i thought my husband was having an affair whilst i was preganant, because he was away to Kosovo, and "how do you know he's really there, he could be away with his fancy piece".
I had a horrible pregnancy, had a urine infection which had got up into my kidneys,so was given antibiotics, (at 39 weeks) and was told by HV that my child would now be born deformed!
After i had DS1, i was bottle feeding, she told me that with my family history of diabetes and breast cancer he would be dead with one of those illnesses by the time he was 5! It was at this point my DH, who had been in the hall and heard every word she said, put her, pyhsically out of the house.

I've had the same HV for all three children, and she's lovely. We don't always agree about things, but she's not the sort of person to be 'my way or the high way'. I bf'd DD until she was 2 and she was totally supportive (called me her star bfer once ) I have had some really rude, arrogant and self opinionated m/ws though to make up for HVs sheer loveliness.

When ds was 6 mos old hv in west London told me to be careful about letting him have too much mango because "they're fattening". Wot?

lol at speed at the weekend only!