My lovely HV has been here for ds's 2 year check. I told her that HVs are (by and large)despised on MN.Can you post with examples of their idiocy,especially with regard to breastfeeding? I am going to print the thread and pass it on.

[moondog]

I once heard a school liason officer refuse to agree that the children of a drug dealer (used the tiny kids as runners) were placed on the at risk register - because the mother cooked sunday lunch and there were normally at least two vegetables!

Oh that's all right then.......

Mine told me to give 13 wk old dd formula because she wasn't sleeping well and she needed topping up (believe me, she was constantly full). When I told her this and explained that she wouldn't take bottles anyway she said that I was too thin to breastfeed and probablly wasn't producing enough milk so should persevere with the bottles. She then said that it might be best to wean her now.
(P.S I'm not really that thin, certainly not 13 weeks post birth)

I am so glad that she retired soon afterwards and the new HV is lovely, although I never see her as dd is 2 1/2

When I scored quite highly on the Edinburgh test after ds was born, my hv said "oh well, that's because your dh is chronically ill." Apparently if you have a reason to be depressed, it doesn't count as PND so they don't care. (No targets for non-PND depression occurring post-natally?)

When I (reluctantly) admitted ds wasn't taking to weaning very well, another hv suggested I try weaning him on to chocolate.

I refuse to go and see them now other than to have ds weighed. Any concern I have, I go to the GP. Which is precisely what hvs are meant to do - deal with routine concerns initially and thus free up GPs for other things (golf, mainly).

I have had 2 HVs, both of whom were excellent in their own ways, but the first had it all from books and 'official guidelines', was not a nurse or a mother and did everything by the book. She was wonderful at looking after me, but useless at advice for ds. I used to smile, nod, and go off and do things my own way. Whereas HV no2 was both an experienced nurse and a mother, and her perspective was "Look, this is what is recommended, but this is what works for many mums" and "your children are happy and healthy, it works for you, so don't worry about what's officially advised." Lovely, common sense woman.

In this new area that I've moved to, a friend has just had her 3rd (she has 5yo and 2yo as well), but while the HVs did home visits for the 1st and 2nd babies, they won't do them for no3 because the mum's experienced and can come to them. Huh? 10 days after giving birth is it actually any easier with 3 than it is with 1 or 2?

Pretty Candles - she may well be 'not permitted' to visit experienced mothers unless they need extra support for some reason. Cutbacks.......

Breastfeeding DOES hurt SOMETIMES. Stop pretending it doesn't.

(But I don't hate HV's at all. You provide a wonderful service on very limited resourses. I appreciate it )

ah tribpot - my HV thought I was depressed after DS2 was born because I was crying when she came round. My friend had just (as in she was still in my living room) told me that her daughter's illness was terminal

She is the same one who suggested I try DS1 (aged about 1) on crisps as finger food

Cutbacks...the story of the NHS .

Tommy, your poor friend :(

Mine was shit. Expressed surprise that I was still bfing both of mine after 6 weeks. She couldn't answer any questions on bfing. In fact, she couldn't seem to be able to answer any questions at all. And when she first came round once I'd had dd, she seemed to be in an awful hurry to fill in the right papers and go again, she never wanted to hang around.

I got a ton of grief from my hv's over dd1 because she was on the 9th centile. She is, was and remains extremely lively, sparky and healthy - I have never taken her to the doctor except for her imms and she is three now. and, oddly enough, my husband's family are all petite, but this was not good enough and I was told at the age of seven months to start giving her biscuits to feed her up.
needless to say that was the last time I went to the clinic and I have never been with dd2.
also, each and every midwife, doctor and hv I saw during my pregnancy told me that I absolutely COULD NOT continue to breastfeed through pregnancy and that I must absolutely stop feeding dd1 AT ONCE. I was told this by my hv when I had just come out of hospital - imagine what effect it would have had on dd1 if I had suddenly weaned her right then, just as the new baby arrived. AND the piece de resistance was that she advised me to give dd1 milkshakes instead because that would be healthier as there was no nutrional benefit to dd1 fromt he breastmilk. to be clear, I wasn't complaining or worried or anything - I was fine about the tandem feeding. As luck would have it I am perfectly capable of ignoring such ill informed crapola. of course I have stopped telling anyone now

Mine has been great - we moved to a new area when DS was 12 weeks, and she came to see me at home for introductory visit within the first 10 days. Another older lady with v. sensible, practical advice.

Re. breastfeeding, I think they sometimes tread a v. thin line - of course they should never criticise someone who's breast feeding a toddler or baby over 6 months - but I do remember getting to 6 months, and going to see her. I'd not enjoyed feeding, and found it v. stressful, and my h/v gave me the confidence to feel that it was ok for me to stop at that point without feeling guilty. I have heard the same h/v congratulating women with older babies on continuing to bf.

i was practically ordered to give formula "it'll increase your own milk supply too" i didn't.

they made me see three different paediatricians because ds was on bottom centile. the last one wrote my gp a letter saying i was neurotic. what an utter waste of resources (and ds is like a little walrus now).

I should balance my tales of woe by mentioning my current HV (I moved house) is pretty good - and fought my corner when I wanted the mercury-free baby jabs for ds2 - I'd never have got them without her hassling the GP surgery for them and sticking up for me.

I waas told to start weaning my baby at 8 weeks because she was windy - allegedly due to the volume of milk she was taking. The HV even wrote it on my child record book.
I didn't!

When I was struggling with bf when dd was 6 weeks old, I asked health visitors advice about adding in ONE bottle of formula to feeds to relieve pressure off me. She said 'well if you're going to stop feeding you might well have never started as your baby won't get any benefit'
ahem...

Our health visitor is wonderful. Hugely supportive about feeding, and sensitive to different women's different choices. Took my concerns re dd's speech seriously and sorted out hearing tests etc pronto.

Pass it on please!

Went to see my HV for the 6 months check with DS1 and ask to have chat about PND (I was feeling very low ...)
She didn't have time to talk to me so we agree on a day for her to come and visit me.
She cancelled the appointment and never ever asked how I was, and never rearrange it either.
Felt to unsuported that I didn't go to see her again, didn't find the courag to see the GP after that. Just felt useless again ...

This thread isn't quite working - not the utter condemnation of incompetence that the OP was hoping for, I think! Too many people sticking up for their good HVs .

Maybe we should do a few links to some old HV threads

My DS3 failed his hearing test- as did DS1 and DS2, so I wasn't overly concerned.... frankly if he can't hear then he can't hear, end of it, we'll deal with it. So she asked me, in a loud voice in a room packed with peiople both alien to me and family (ie my sister)-

'don't you love him?'

Yes I do, so much so that I would adore him whatever issues he has. However, if I didn't and I had PND or similar I would ahrdly tell you here would I now you silly cow?

I mentioned to the other HV- whom I knew through working for HomeStart- and never had to see the first one again. But how rude was that? really out of order.

The same awful HV also (feeding related) leaned over to me- whilst we were both attending the Unicef baby friendly breastfeeding course and said 'ah it's all rubbish, makes no difference how you feed em and BF makes them depressed anyway'.

She is known locally as 'Mad X', everyone avoids her. My Mother accredits her constant 'But you Have to get PND ' comments to my sister following nephew's stint in NICU as triggering the PND that did develop.

My HV made me cry when dd3 failed her newborn hearing check at 2 weeks - when I told her I didn't want to carry on with the testing, she said 'oh well you know her left ear is fine so you can just tell people to speak into that one when she is older'

then when I burst into tears she told me she suspected I had PND and would be coming back next week to 'check up on me'

horrible old bag

Right, here goes:
My HV was hopeless. She showed no real interest in either of my kids, just saying "Everything OK?" at my son's weighing sessions before turning back to her assistant to continue their conversation without waiting to hear the answer. I once asked the assistant if she or the HV could have a look at ds's penis - I was a bit concerned that the foreskin wasn't right - and the hv just said from across the room "Oh, I won't look at that, take him to the GP". Later DS fell and gashed his head, requiring butterfly sutures. The A & E doc said "We'll tell your HV" but she didn't even bother to phone to see if everything was ok. Then when dd was born, and I was having trouble bf, she said "Oh, you won't be able to produce enough milk if you're running around after a toddler as well." I hardly ever bothered to take dd to be weighed, as I was so fed up with the hv, but her 6 month check fell just after my dh had gone to Iraq for 6 months. At the clinic, my ds was being really whiney and clingy and dd was crying and I was having a bad day. I told the HV that dh had just gone and that I was on my own but not once during the following 6 months did she ring, call round or do anything to check that we were ok and managing, even though on the only day she saw me, I clearly wasn't! The absolute final straw came recently when dd's 2 yr check was due. On the morning of her appointment, the HV rang and said "Since you cope so well, shall we leave it? No point in traipsing all the way to the clinic, eh. You're quite happy with her, are you? Good." I've told my GP how unhappy with her I am, but I don't know whether anything will come of it. Yet in the doctor's surgery in the village where my parents live, there is a wonderful HV who I used to pop in to see occasionally and she still calls round now and then to ask my parents how I'm getting on!

This one hasn't happen to me directly but ...
I was going to see the HV to weigh DS1 when I overheard this conversation :
Mum : My daughter is 6 months old but she is still waking up during the nigh. What can I do ?
HV : She doesn't need the feed. Give her water instead.
Mum : But I have tried, she doesn't want it.
HV : Well, just leave her crying
Mum : I also have an older daughter. She is waking her up and then I have 2 screaming children.
HV : looking annoyed. What do you want me to say ? Just leave her cry ...

At that time, DS1 was just 6 weeks old and I had no experience of having 2 children But the advice sounded so crap and uncaring that it stuck to my mind up to now ....