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My lovely HV has been here for ds's 2 year check. I told her that HVs are (by and large)despised on MN.Can you post with examples of their idiocy,especially with regard to breastfeeding? I am going to print the thread and pass it on.

163 replies

moondog · 20/06/2006 12:07

Grin
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
moondog · 20/06/2006 20:43

Lol at californiafrau's fictitious veg!

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moondog · 20/06/2006 20:44

Also love Mistress Miggins breastfeeding expert Doug.
Great!!

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spacecadet · 20/06/2006 20:47

my hv in cambs was awful, demanded that i took ads, when i wasnt depressed, she insisted i was and accused me of being a bad mother because i wouldnt take ads.
new hv has already been out to introduce herself, she seems lovely, told me to ring her if i have any concerns about anything, old hv made it very clear that if your baby was over 3 months, she wasnt interested.

2Happy · 20/06/2006 20:48

I have nothing particular against my HV, haven't really had much to do with her, but I found it amusing that ds was called for his 8 month check today..........

.....it was his birthday a week and a half ago...

"Can he sit unaided yet?" asks HV
"Err..." says I, watching ds sitting happily playing with toys Grin

WriggleJiggle · 20/06/2006 20:48

B/F was hurting SOooooo much, so I asked for advice and the number of a local B/F councillor.

The response was that I should expect BF to hurt, only the 'purists' claimed it didn't hurt, I could phone the numbers but they probably wouldn't help, and I should 'put up or give up'!!!!!
I'm sure they're not all bad, I just wish I still had my wonderful midwife back instead.

VVVQV · 20/06/2006 20:53

My HV first time round was largely okay but recoiled in horror when i was having problems getting DD onto soya milk (which is even more foul tasting than normal formula) and i asked whether mixing b/milk with the soya would work.

I think her words where "Good God no! Yuk!"

My HV's this time round have been absolutely fab. Very very supportive in the early weeks when i was struggling with b/feeding and finally discovered it was thrush. HV even got me a prescription sorted for the fluconazole(?) in case the GP wouldnt prescribe it.

They were also very good when diagnosed with PND.

Cant complain moondog, sorry Smile

UCM · 20/06/2006 20:59

My HV's were lovely and I had one round last week to do DS 2 year check. When she said 'you can carry on polishing your halo' I was impressed.

Whe DS was a tiny babe, one gave me some wonderful advice on how to sue the NHS.

moondog · 20/06/2006 21:00

And UCM.....?????

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UCM · 20/06/2006 21:04

I didn't bother, was just grateful that I have a lovely healthy baby. I still could though. But sometimes you have to count your blessings

moondog · 20/06/2006 21:05

Just wondered what had you thinking on those lines and if it was insider knowledge..

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UCM · 20/06/2006 21:07

Op to remove one my tubes years ago, but when I had C/s found that both tubes were still there!
Basically she advised me how to get my notes without letting them know I was know what I was doing.

Sorry to hijack thread.

honeybunny · 20/06/2006 21:07

My first one would open every consultation with.... "so, are you feeling depressed?" I felt like there was always a silent "yet" to follow.

I asked how to improve my milk supply as ds1 was a reluctant feeder and she said "feed him all day and night, that'll help persuade your body to make more milk" I told her my ds1 would turn his head away and refuse to even look at my boob, her comment "well if you want to give up bf go right on ahead" FFS where's the support in that?

ds1 developed quite yucky eczema after starting on formula milk fulltime and after looking into it I introduced goats milk. She told me that I was denying my child the proper nutrition he required and that I wasnt allowed to give him anything other than the specified formula without the drs say so. All this after she had commented on how much better ds's skin wsa looking and what had I been using.

As I went for my final visit (8mo check) she totally ignored me, I was seen by the student, yet she was in the same room. I then told her that she was the worst health care professional I had ever come across (I worked in 4 GP practices as a roaming physio, so had met a fair few in my time) and that I would be writing a letter of complaint to the practice manager and the head of the trust.

I would like to add that since then my HV in Kent has been lovely.

TheMammy · 20/06/2006 21:16

Shock Saltire :(

bighug · 20/06/2006 21:18

Saltire, surely your one was literally stark raving mad?

Adorabelle · 20/06/2006 22:06

At 6 wks my dd was like anonther limb, She bfed
every 2 hrs for 45mins & HATED to be put down.

I carried her in a sling, everywhere, & bfed her
whenever she needed/wanted it. Saw my HV when getting dd weighed at 6wks & was told in no uncertain terms if I carried on like I was with my dd i'd end up with a spoilt clingy brat Shock

Thank the Lord I took No notice. My dd is 2 now, still bfeeding & is far more happy & confident
than any of my mates kids, who were left to 'cry it out'

chjlly · 20/06/2006 22:17

My first hv was lovely couldn't do enough to help!
Our next one however sat in my lounge when dd was about 2 weeks old and phoned another hv to check that the advice of topping dd up with formula due to no weight gain was right (my hv was supposedly the senior hv!!!)
Tried to keep as far away from her as possible after my friend called her for help when she was really suffering from pnd and she didn't know how to help!
Am meeting my new one on Tuesday so fingers crossed!

cat64 · 20/06/2006 22:37

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edam · 20/06/2006 23:15

Californiafrau, your story is terrifying. Good Lord. Not only the bizarre dawn raid but the fact that mad woman was only stopped at the 11th hour.

My first HV, when ds was tiny, was lovely. Everyone should be like her! (Maisie, at the Falcoln Road Surgery, London SW11 if your friendly HV wants to identify the model HV). Really supportive, encouraging, knowledgeable in a practical, mumsy way but freely admitted when she needed to check anything. And clearly loved babies.

She came round once and found me in tears of pain during a feed. She took ds off me, went upstairs and changed his nappy, made me a cup of tea and got me an appointment with the breastfeeding counsellor. As well as checking my breast, telling me it was mastitis, going to the doctors to collect a prescription for me, going to the pharmacy and bringing the drugs back to my door! OK, I lived about 100 yards from the surgery and the pharmacy was next door, but even so, I reckon that was gold star service.

HVs since we moved at 7mos bit of a dead loss. Baby clinic only in day times so useless for working mothers - what, is it only children of SAHMs/Ds who need child health surveillance?

When I did go to the baby clinic just for the sake of meeting them, turned out it's a communal experience - all the mothers in one large room with loads of scales. Luckily I didn't have any serious problems to discuss, but I bet they don't ever pick up any domestic violence that's going on, for instance - why would someone even think about asking for help in such an environment?

I had to phone up myself and organise ds's 2 year check. Which was pointless - they didn't actually interact with ds at all apart from a feeble attempt to weigh and measure him - no idea how to coax a reluctant child to take part (reluctant because he'd noticed the frigid atmostphere around them, I suspect).

However, one of them did actually recommend a clinic where I could take ds for single jabs. Amazed the clinic, too, so obviously not on a backhander!

My sister's HV tried to trick her into having the 8, 12 and 16 week jabs done without consent. Sis wanted to wait a few weeks ? mainly due to thimerosal. HV said, oh, while you are here, can you just sign this? Sis asked what it was, HV said 'oh nothing, just for our records'. Turned out it was a blanket consent form for every jab children can ever have! And then she got her assistant to try it on every time sis took her dd to get weighed. Completely unethical.

Adorabelle · 20/06/2006 23:41

Have had Horrid HV, the 1 who told me to leave her to cry at 6 wks old, she was never left to
cry I just put her in sling & took her Everywhere

But also had Great 2nd HV who told me that putting
her in her sling & taking her everywhere was the
best thing I could do for both her & I,as it
would build the bond & Eventually I wouldn't have
to carry her everywhere.

Took 2nd HV advice & now have a V.Happy bfed 2 yr
old who can cope for 24 hours (or more) without
my being with her

jura · 21/06/2006 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kiskidee · 21/06/2006 02:26

at her first visit for my dd, (first baby) hv said that I should top up with formula because dd was still under birthweight, jaundiced and I had the flu and was suffering from a poor appetite- (and skinny as a rake, I suppose)

when dd was ll mos and I was still bf, I went to the local breast feeding support group run by Surestart. I told this gem to the hv (different one) who ran it. Her honest question was: didn't she tell you to bf her first before topping her up?

Californifrau · 21/06/2006 03:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saltire · 21/06/2006 08:36

Oh yes bighug, i think mine was definately bonkers! no one liked her, and after DH put her out of the house and i called to get another one i was told that 8 people that week had called the practice and asked for a different HV.
What upset me most was her implying that i was going to kill my son because i wasn't Bf. I had my reasons, and was made to feel very guilty from other quarters, and really expected her to support me

fisil · 21/06/2006 08:39

I'm afraid my hvs have been good too. The only thing I can criticise is that one of them had the audacity to give birth prematurely and so I had to see a locum when ds2 was born.

LeahE · 21/06/2006 08:55

for all the ones you hate, think of all the ones that actually help vulnerable people genuinely in need. at least you had mumsnet to ask.

Many of the people posting here were vulnerable people genuinely in need and didn't have mumsnet at the time. And the HVs they mention are probably still in charge of giving advice to vulnerable people genuinely in need who don't have mumsnet to ask but unless they've bucked their ideas up are still being unhelpful, obstructive or just plain wrong.

I don't get why the fact that many HVs are great means it's unreasonable to mention that some aren't, or to expect high standards overall.

For the record, mine were fine.