Yet another F****ing Fours Thread!

[Beccarollover]

Ive been clogging up the Bar with this so thought Id start a thread.

I know there have been LOTS of threads about badly behaved 3-4 year olds around at the moment sorry if this is all just a repeat of those.

Im not necessarily looking for answers just a place to vent and a bit of support.

I have had about the hardest day as a mum that ive had so far and have ended up in tears a few times - the behaviour or my DD has got me to the point where Im not enjoying her at all and its making me sooo sad - she is the light of my life but I feel Ive lost my little gorgeous, funny, cute, bright wonderful girl to a pest that screams, shouts, scratches, bites, moans, whinges, kicks etc etc what seems like all the time.

Today for example she woke up whingeing about something or other and it carried on literally all day - i feel like im permanently either dealing with a tantrum or trying my best to avoid her going into one - this is becoming increasingly difficult as anyting and everything sets her off. Today the thing that kicked off a HUGE tantrum was me asking her to pick her coat up off the ground that she had thrown down in temper - she responded with the usual NO NO NO YOU DO IT and threw herself on the ground - I gave her to the count of three and if she didnt we wouldnt be going to ballet - she didnt so I didnt take her to ballet - got he in the car and she started kicking the insides of the car of kicking the seats and screaming - I said if this carries on by the time we arrive home you will have to go to your room - needless to say it did so I put her in her room - she trashed it, I went in and literally couldnt see the floor, drawers were pulled over, videos and pens everywhere, paper covering the entire floor and toys everywhere. I decided to just ignore her - this led to her screaming and screaming and kicking her door and walls for about an hour - GET ME OUT OF HERE OR I WILL KILL YOU I HATE YOU I DONT LOVE YOU YOUR HORRIBLE GET ME RIGHT NOW OR ILL SMASH MY BED AND NEVER SLEEP IN IT etc etc - In the end I waited for a quiet moment and went in and said are you ready to be calm yet? and let her come downstairs on teh understanding as soon as she misbehaved she would go straight back - calm laste for about 2 minutes, i got her a drink of water and it was in "the wrong glass" she kicked off so i took her back upstairs and left her - more kicking of walls and doors ensued with more shouting then she starts shouting IVE BEEN SICK IVE BEEN SICK LOOK WHAT YOUR DOING TO ME - i went up, cleaned her without saying anything and put her back to bed - she eventually went to sleep after more of the same at 11pm - throughout the night she also wet herself for attention 4 or 5 times. The coat incident started at 3pm and until 11pm she tantrummed

What do I do?

I feel very sad - normally I can shrug it off and roll with it but Im starting to really not enjoy being with her, I feel like ive lost my little girl

Im sure ill feel better tomorrow !

Im really sorry this has gone on so long - needed to let it out

Not sure if I have even made much sense - today is typical of most days at the moment

Becca
xxx

yeah i did feel annoyed when he left although some things he said struck a chord and helped me to talk about but I didnt feel right having to take blame for last nights situation - I think that was all his own doing.

Im feeling crap at the moment - really just bleurgh my eyes are sores too from crying and have an ache inside

Ive just requested information on doing a positive parenting course with parentline - maybe that could help us?

HI BR

C CHEST INFEC

Hi - oh no poor thing - have you been up all night with him?

Could anyone point me towards anything that would be concise and easy to read that explains WHY violence does no good for disciplining a child - he was really trying to defend it and just wouldnt acknowledge my side if I could give him something to back me up it takes away his argument

Becca, NSPCC might be a good start.

Becca, this isn't that concise but it looks good and made me feel sad - Children talk about smacking, here I hope this week is better than last week for you.

Becca, I wrote a piece on smacking and the case against for She magazine. If you want the original, contact me through MN and I can send it to you.

Hugs Oh Coddy One.

Thanks thats useful

The thing is, in this case its the threat of violence that he is using rather than actual violence - almost as bad as each other IMO but his opinion is "Well I would never actually hit her" but I want to show him that just becuase he doesnt actually beat her threatening violence is still damaging.

well, I thought I should not follow the smacking tactics so when 3y old ds has done something I consider really naughty I put him in our studyroom (he doesn't like it (except at xmas when he found some hidden chocolate) and would probably say similar things as the children who were smacked (the link in www posting). Now he has started slamming doors/locking up dd 9mo. I try to ignore it but at times I have had a scare because dd's fingers where nearly trapped when I have told him to be more careful.

TA, HE wiIL NoT BE PUT DOWN AND IS not KEEN ON AMOXY, GRR - TIriED THE YOGURT TRICK

DS1 WAS LIKE THIS TOO

has dp gone?

yes he left last night coddy - he rang last night asking to come tonight for his stuff and to talk about him seeing the kids

Becca, I covered a bit about shouting (which I personally interpret as loud threatening nasty shouting!) too. I'm not pressing it on you, just trying to be what use I can which isn't very, how vile, hugs...

That would be great MI - ill contact you

Becca x

Hi Becca. So sorry you're going through the mill like this atm. Love and hugs.

Just to top the last few days off Ive just had a speeding ticket through the door - bugger bugger bugger

oh becca!!!

not to worry, least of my worries and I shouldnt speed! I dont normally the time in question was 13:04 I was obviously late for nursery oops

well how are you feeling?
are you sad he has gone or not?

i dont know - its really bizarre like i have no feelings about it - felt really down this morning but now not as bad

i was really upset last night when he walked out but now dont know how i feel

he is coming round tonight for rest of his stuff - dont know how to play it - based on past experience he will probably say sorry and want to come back

why dont you be out?

i cant really be out as kids will be in bed and he needs stuff for work

baby is 19 weeks and a day beety :D

Br, sorry to hear all this. Your dd must be quite sensitive to all this, plus the baby...I think she could really do with some completely unconditional love before you start a behaviour book etc.

Good luck x E