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Original poster

Yet another F****ing Fours Thread!

216 replies

Beccarollover · 15/01/2004 23:04

Ive been clogging up the Bar with this so thought Id start a thread.

I know there have been LOTS of threads about badly behaved 3-4 year olds around at the moment sorry if this is all just a repeat of those.

Im not necessarily looking for answers just a place to vent and a bit of support.

I have had about the hardest day as a mum that ive had so far and have ended up in tears a few times - the behaviour or my DD has got me to the point where Im not enjoying her at all and its making me sooo sad - she is the light of my life but I feel Ive lost my little gorgeous, funny, cute, bright wonderful girl to a pest that screams, shouts, scratches, bites, moans, whinges, kicks etc etc what seems like all the time.

Today for example she woke up whingeing about something or other and it carried on literally all day - i feel like im permanently either dealing with a tantrum or trying my best to avoid her going into one - this is becoming increasingly difficult as anyting and everything sets her off. Today the thing that kicked off a HUGE tantrum was me asking her to pick her coat up off the ground that she had thrown down in temper - she responded with the usual NO NO NO YOU DO IT and threw herself on the ground - I gave her to the count of three and if she didnt we wouldnt be going to ballet - she didnt so I didnt take her to ballet - got he in the car and she started kicking the insides of the car of kicking the seats and screaming - I said if this carries on by the time we arrive home you will have to go to your room - needless to say it did so I put her in her room - she trashed it, I went in and literally couldnt see the floor, drawers were pulled over, videos and pens everywhere, paper covering the entire floor and toys everywhere. I decided to just ignore her - this led to her screaming and screaming and kicking her door and walls for about an hour - GET ME OUT OF HERE OR I WILL KILL YOU I HATE YOU I DONT LOVE YOU YOUR HORRIBLE GET ME RIGHT NOW OR ILL SMASH MY BED AND NEVER SLEEP IN IT etc etc - In the end I waited for a quiet moment and went in and said are you ready to be calm yet? and let her come downstairs on teh understanding as soon as she misbehaved she would go straight back - calm laste for about 2 minutes, i got her a drink of water and it was in "the wrong glass" she kicked off so i took her back upstairs and left her - more kicking of walls and doors ensued with more shouting then she starts shouting IVE BEEN SICK IVE BEEN SICK LOOK WHAT YOUR DOING TO ME - i went up, cleaned her without saying anything and put her back to bed - she eventually went to sleep after more of the same at 11pm - throughout the night she also wet herself for attention 4 or 5 times. The coat incident started at 3pm and until 11pm she tantrummed

What do I do?

I feel very sad - normally I can shrug it off and roll with it but Im starting to really not enjoy being with her, I feel like ive lost my little girl

Im sure ill feel better tomorrow !

Im really sorry this has gone on so long - needed to let it out

Not sure if I have even made much sense - today is typical of most days at the moment

Becca
xxx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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clairabelle · 18/01/2004 22:08

i've been chatting too, status set to away

mybeetrootday · 18/01/2004 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nutcracker · 18/01/2004 22:10

Is msn the same as instant messanger ??????

Rae1973 · 18/01/2004 22:10

Beety, if you haven't got it you hvae to download it, then you put in the persons e-mail address who you want to speak to. AND you only speak to the people you want to

Rae1973 · 18/01/2004 22:11

Nutcracker, yes it is

mybeetrootday · 18/01/2004 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nutcracker · 18/01/2004 22:13

Oh good, but will the person I want to talk to need to have im or will it work if they've got msn. Can't you tell i'm a computer virgin

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2004 22:13

Yes, it is like icq. details here

emmatmg · 18/01/2004 22:14

Becca, I've got to feed James so had better go now, I hope things look better in the morning.

Lots of love
Em..x

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2004 22:14

You need to know a person's email address and then you can add them. They have to add you to their 'allow' list for the 2 of you to communicate. You can see whenever they're online and you can share photos and documents etc. It's good stuff. Sorry to hijack Becca!

Rae1973 · 18/01/2004 22:15

Nutcracker, if they haven't got MSN, MSN will e-mail then with the link to download and there is a space so you can put who it is wanting to speak to them etc, if they have MSN then they will get an e-mail asking if they want to talk to you, if they click yes you will automatically be added

popsycal · 18/01/2004 22:23

i have been texting becca...

clairabelle · 18/01/2004 22:24

any joy popsycal?

mybeetrootday · 18/01/2004 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Lisa78 · 18/01/2004 22:27

anything?
WTF is going on?

popsycal · 18/01/2004 22:27

she has gone quiet in last ten mins
i told her to call her mum.....dp went to his mums

Lisa78 · 18/01/2004 22:29

perhaps she is on the phone to her mum, hence the quiet
Has he really actually left????

popsycal · 18/01/2004 22:33

yes he has-not sure if it is just a break or what
i have to go to bed nw but will keep texting her

Lisa78 · 18/01/2004 22:35

bloody hell

Original poster
Beccarollover · 19/01/2004 00:41

hi Im really sorry to have worried you - he rang then my sister and her friend came round as id rung her crying telling her what had happened

they have just left - her friend (also friend of mine) is a couseller and has been counselling me (in the disguise of a conversation) for the last 2 hours - he has come to the conclusion that david doesnt trust me, i have issues about rejection so hold 100% of the emotional control in the relationship which means david cant externalise his feelings so implodes because of everything he doesnt say at the time - all of the things we dont say to each other on a day to day basis end up exploding in an unrelated incident like a coiled spring or something?!?!?!?!!?!!?!!?!!!!?!?!?!??! dont know what o make of that as that implies im to blame for being controlling?

when dp rang he said hes coming tomorrow to collect his things and discuss when he can see the kids he also said that the reason his back was up was because i spend too much time on the computer and because he had "felt sick all day about me going to see ex in hospital"
WTF??

sorry about poor grammar etc!

Im just feeling numb, confused, angry, sad, bitter, guilty, shocked, furious, devastated but mostly numb

OP posts:
Original poster
Beccarollover · 19/01/2004 00:57

Nobody still up? Im off to bed - dont think Ill sleep but will be shattered if I dont try

speak to you all tomorrow i hope

Becca
xxx

and THANKYO its nice to know people care

OP posts:
JJ · 19/01/2004 06:36

Becca, I just caught up with all this. You sound like a lovely person going through a tough time with your daughter and now your dp.

FWIW, reading this, it doesn't sound like you're "emotionally controlling" or whatever. I also have to think it's not on for someone you know to be acting as a counsellor to you. Counsellors are supposed to be neutral and help you explore your feelings, right? Not be judgmental and, oh I don't know how to say it, such a prick. Someone will have better advice than me, but what I mean is that that guy sounds like a doofus. Even if he was just trying to be helpful, he wasn't at all. He sounds clueless.

Hope you had some sleep. Thinking of you today.

tigermoth · 19/01/2004 07:34

becca, I echo jj's comments about councellors - as he knows you personally, through a friend, his conclusions, after just two hours of talking to you, sound glib to me. A good friend of mine had a very, very, damaging relationship with a councellor who befriended her over a year or so. It was impossible for her to separate friendship from objective advice.

I am sorry things have blown up like this.

emmatmg · 19/01/2004 07:47

Becca, WHAT IS BLOODY HELL IS HE ON ABOUT? it sounds to be that the controlling one is DP especially after he shouted at megan and then wouldn't let you go and comfort her.

I've never had any experience with councellors but I am amazed he can come to such a conclusion after only 2 hours regardless as to whether he knows you personally or not.

Apologies for spelling and puncuation, DS2 up all night being sick so my brain isn't much use.

motherinferior · 19/01/2004 08:04

Becca, I've only just read this thread. I'm so sorry. And wtf is that 'counsellor' on about? He threatened to HIT A CHILD FFS.

I'll be back later. Lots of love.xxxxx