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Original poster

Were we right today??

215 replies

CocktailQueen · 06/11/2011 19:15

DH and I fancied a lie in today so we asked the kids, age 4 and 8, not to wake us till 8. They can go donwstairs after 7 and watch tv/play, and we left them out brekky snacks. So they came to wake us at 8 and were being bonkers - jumping all over us in bed and fighting. We said, give us 5 mins for a cuddle and we'll get up. But they fought, kept coming back in, ignoring us saying no and stop, then ds went downstairs, took a tube yoghurt from the fridge and managed to spray it all over the dfining room/kitchen (he was pretending to be a rhino with a horn).....

dh was v cross. Sent them to their rooms. We didn't go out to wildlife park as planned and instead had quiet morning at home then went out for walk. Rest of day fine.

But wwy have done?? Were we too strict? Dh hates when the kids don't listen to him and I can see his point.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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ChippingInNeedsSleep · 18/11/2011 00:56

DavsMum - are you actually DavsDad?

differentnameforthis · 18/11/2011 02:24

I agree with exoticfruits.. When my now 8yr old was 4, she could be trusted to watch TV, play in her room etc & do just that! She was never a fiddler, never an explorer if she was told to sit & play/watch. When I was pregnant with dd2, dd1 would sit in front of a DVD for the odd hour here & there while I napped, often in bed, sometimes on the sofa. And she would not move. She would maybe come & get into bed with me & read, but she had no interest in doing anything except what she was told. I should add that we live in a one storey house, so we were always on the same level. If we lived in a 2 storey, she'd be on the same level as me)

Dd2, blink & she has gone through the house like a mini tornado! Tell her to sit & watch something & she has no interest in it.

The truth is, there are some children who are predictable. There are children who will sit still/watch tv etc. Even now, my 8yr old will happily occupy herself & is very good at occupying the 3yr old. We don't leave the 3yr old unsupervised (so not even in dd1's care) as there is no telling what we would wake up to.

exoticfruits · 18/11/2011 07:34

Exactly-you can't have a blanket rule for DCs-they are all different.

Davsmum · 18/11/2011 08:40

ChippingInNeedsSleep,

If I ever decide to get a sex change - I may become Davsdad.

What a bleedin' stupid question

Octaviapink · 18/11/2011 18:39

My toddler wouldn't fit under my feet...

MadameBoo · 18/11/2011 23:24

Octavia :o

Yes, isn't treading on toddlers while you do the cooking a bit precarious? If you can't reach the cooker without standing on one then you really need to be buying a footstool.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 19/11/2011 03:17

Davsparent - not a stupid question at all, it's just I've never known any woman to be so unable to multi task as one who cannot supervise an 11 month old while cooking dinner - whilst I know plenty of men who true to the stereotype are unable to multitask

MadameBoo - Nah - footstools are just another 'gadget' to store - you already have the toddler - might as well just use that!!

exoticfruits · 19/11/2011 07:21

I did a whole batch of baking yesterday thinking 'how would it be if I had a toddler underfoot?' and I couldn't see the problem. Only the stage of opening the door was in anyway dangerous and I would have just moved them away. The rest was no more dangerous than sitting down with a cup of tea while they played.

4madboys · 19/11/2011 10:53

i made porridge for my 5 this morning, at various points they were all in and out of the kitchen and i had 11mth old dd on the floor and then on my hip whilst i finished making it and serving it up! the boys all lined up with their bowls and i used a ladel to tip it in and then they each took their bowls to the table to eat it, it really wasnt hard!

Octaviapink · 19/11/2011 11:49

I made ginger jelly yesterday with 2.7 DD helping to squeeze out the jelly bag (very squishy) and then being lifted up occasionally to see what a rolling boil looked like and helping me test for a set and the baby playing on the floor with a ladle. There were no incidents of any kind, but DD can now tell you the ingredients for ginger jelly (though to be fair there are only three). I just don't see the mileage in waiting until she's older and having special 'teaching sessions' in the kitchen. Apart from anything else I think children automatically shy away from things they sense are being 'taught' to them.

Davsmum · 21/11/2011 10:00

ChippingInNeedsSleep

Are you being deliberately stupid ? Its not about multi tasking. I could cook a dinner with 10 kids running about the kitchen - What I couldn't do is guarantee how safe they would be and neithe rcould you !
The issue is having an 11 mth old hanging onto your legs whilst you are cooking a dinner. Forget all the other sceanarios/issues about kids helping and learning.
You hear the same stupid comments from people who use their mobile phone whilst driving - 'I am a good driver' 'I know what I am doing' 'I am perfectly safe' ' I have been doing this for years and never had an accident' blah, blah, blah,...

Its not about it being difficult, Its not about 'aren't I clever I can cook and watch a baby at the same time'
Its not about education.

Anyone who thinks an 11MONTH OLD CHILD is perfectly safe around your legs whilst cooking a meal is unaware at best and an idiot at worst.

exoticfruits · 21/11/2011 10:01

Put me down as an idiot then.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 21/11/2011 10:47

Neither unaware nor an idiot thanks - just not a complete incompetent unable to ensure a baby is safe while cooking. It is cooking not armed warfare you know.

Davsmum · 21/11/2011 11:29

Sadly,.. you ARE unaware if you think you are in complete control in that situation with an 11 month old normal child with an independent brain and curiosity and the ability to move.
I would say logic and common sense wise - you are pretty incompetent.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 21/11/2011 11:37

Yes an 11 month old can move - but they aren't going to be jumping up onto the kitchen bench anytime soon are they? I have eyes & ears - I can see & hear them move. I am aware of where they are at all times.

Do you really find cooking such an all consuming task that you are unable to think about a small child? Really?

worldgonecrazy · 21/11/2011 11:40

I'm still pondering what on earth Davsmum is cooking in her kitchen. The only meal I can think of that requires constant pan watching for the first bit is risotto, and I've always managed to make that one-handed, sideways onto the stove with baby in the other arm. Of course, now she's old enough to understand that she needs to stand the other side of the kitchen at certain times, it means I can make my risotto properly, with a glass of white wine in the spare hand instead of a baby.

I'm not unaware, nor am I an idiot.

Davsmum · 21/11/2011 12:35

Chippinginneedsleep

If you are not referring to a todder pulling at your legs while you cook a proper meal - then I suggest you give it a rest instead of harping on about knowing where a kid is in the kitchen.

Worldgonecrazy,.. No one mentioned constant pan watching,.. frying/roasting/baking can require doing several things at once. I tended to value my children at 11 months old, enough, not to have them pulling at my legs when dealing with the oven or hob, because frankly - you do not know when you may be distracted enough for an accident to happen.
What you are saying is totally demonstrating you are not aware - if not - its demonstrating you do not really care that much.

4madboys · 21/11/2011 12:55

well if my dd starts pulling at my legs i either move her out of the way or pick her up and get on with what i was doing? its not rocket science!

Octaviapink · 21/11/2011 13:16

Agree with 4mad. It's perfectly possible to pick up your 11mo (though he's made it to nearly 1yo while this thread has been going) and put them out of the way while you open the oven (as I did not ten minutes ago when I needed to stir the rice pudding) and to tell your toddler 'stay over there DD while I open the oven'.

Davsmum · 21/11/2011 13:40

Its not rocket science to keep the child away from your legs in the first place and guarantee they won't trip you or have something dropped/dripped on them.
Its possible to do all those things you say - trouble is things can happen before you get the chance to do it which is something you would prefer to ignore.
I wonder who is safer - the kid around your legs - or the one kept away ?

worldgonecrazy · 21/11/2011 13:42

Davsmum At least I am teaching my daughter how to be safe - as is demonstrated by the fact that at 22 months she knows exactly how to behave in the kitchen, unlike children who are cossetted.

I believe you are ignorant and ill informed of the abilities of young children (and dare I say slightly trollish on this thread?) and are putting your children at risk by cossetting them so much they are not forming the mental ability to make their own risk assessments.

Then again, I guess from your comments you don't care about your children developing into risk-aware and safe adults do you?

worldgonecrazy · 21/11/2011 13:44

Just thought of something else!

Davsmum what on earth did you do to your children when they were babies that they were perpetually clinging to your legs in the kitchen?? My DD was secure enough by 11 months not to need to cling to mummy's legs 24/7.

To the more sensible ladies on this thread - I think I may have found the root of the disagreement. Our children were obviously better treated in their very early months, so we didn't have this same perpetual clinging problem.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 21/11/2011 13:50

Davsmum - what are you on about?

You said you ARE unaware if you think you are in complete control in that situation with an 11 month old normal child with an independent brain and curiosity and the ability to move. I would say logic and common sense wise - you are pretty incompetent

I replied Yes an 11 month old can move - but they aren't going to be jumping up onto the kitchen bench anytime soon are they? I have eyes & ears - I can see & hear them move. I am aware of where they are at all times

What is this about.. If you are not referring to a todder pulling at your legs while you cook a proper meal - then I suggest you give it a rest instead of harping on about knowing where a kid is in the kitchen

??? Odd, very odd.

Davsmum · 21/11/2011 14:24

Worldgonecrazy
My children were NOT doing that - you silly woman. Its some mums on here whose children do that and who think its positively beneficial !! ( eg Octaviapink) - thats the whole point !! - Have you not actually taken in anything written on here ?
My children were taught awarenes in the kitchen relevant to their age, not expected have the knowledge and experience they could not be expected to have at 11 months !!!
How many times have I said this ?... How many times must something be repeated before you actually get it to sink in ?
How can YOUR child be aware when you as an adult, cannot grasp whats being said on here ?

If yu are going to take osomeone to task - please bother to make sure that you know and understand what they have said before you jump in with your size 6 boots !

worldgonecrazy · 21/11/2011 14:29

Davsmum I suspect, from rereading the thread, that you are actually the person who is failing to grasp what is being said. I'm wondering how many other people have to post in support of the more sensible mothers before you begin to understand that cossetting children from ordinary household/family chores does not help them, and I believe makes accidents far more likely.

I am not taking you to task over anything - rather feeling a little bemused why you are getting so angry about this that you are insulting other posters. I'm wondering if there is some sort of projection going on? Do you feel guilty that your parenting skills are less than other parents on here? It's not a competition and there is no need to feel guilty about it, and certainly, getting angry and irate is only going to hurt you, not anyone else.