Immense baby name regret

[SLNM]

Baby is 3 months old, and I have started to regret her name. We named her Desiree (which is a name that DH had suggested). It is mainly the comments of others that are causing my regret. When we go to the shops, we get reactions that seem negative when someone asks what her name is. My parents do not like her name. I want to change her name but am not certain that I will be able to convince DH. It doesn't help that she is likely to be our only child (which only makes the regret stronger).

We had considered Isabel, Jacqueline, Lucy, and Scarlett as well, but DH wasn't as keen on those as I was. What would you do?

The way you've decided to pronounce this is worse! She'll go through her whole life correcting people.

Desi is much better. I'd shorten it.

It sounds like a black American name. I have mixed race American family and one of them is called Desiree. It’s like Deshaun and Destiny.

I think Desi is nice, but no one will know how to pronounce Desiree. That alone would put me off. She’ll have a lifetime of correcting people’s pronunciation.

Yes, but so are (King) Edward and Charlotte … I actually planted an entire row of Desiree spuds last week, and that connection didn’t even occur to me when I was reading this thread.

Charlotte is also a potato name but that doesn't put people off using it.

Desiree is a nice name and has good options for shortening. It would be very hard on your DH to change the one name he likes because of the raised eyebrows of a couple of strangers.

Also NB that kids these days are used to all sorts of "unusual " names, her classmates won't bat an eyelid

I knew a Desiree who went by Derry if you wanted a different nickname suggestion.

Foremost is also a potato so you made a funny.

My first thought was potato too if I'm honest. Second thought was drag queen or stripper but my thoughts are coloured by my DSS naming his daughter (both first and second names), names so bad, the first thing everyone thinks about is strippers and drag queens. I nearly came on her to ask about it at the time but so many people in the family said they felt sick over the kids name that I knew it wasn't just me.

I would change it.

Desirée by Anne Marie Selinko is a fabulous fiction book about her life, what a woman. Reading it would change your mind about the name.

Anyone else got "you gotta be?" stuck in their heads?

My DD has a more unusual name and we got some really quite bizarre and occasionally rude comments but me and DH both love her name.

I would stick with her name if you both love it. Your DPs named you and now it’s your turn to name your lovely DD. Your DOs don’t get a say.

Totally agree. I assumed the OP was black so didn’t comments as it may be a more culturally acceptable name for her than it would be for others from different ethnicities until I read further down.

The list of alternative names they rejected are all perfectly reasonable so much so that it’s almost impossible to understand how they came up with the alternative.

It’s akin to having a shortlist of Tabitha, Cressida, Henrietta and rejecting them all in favour of something like Lexi-Mae Jordan.

I also have baby name regret for my now 8 year old. And my 11 year old had different names every week for her first 8 weeks 😁 Wish I could go back and change my youngest but only realised when he was about 2 years old no think it’s relatively easy to change before 12 months old. It’s such a big decision and there’s a lot of hormones running through your body which I think it should make big decisions illegal!

that said I think at 3 months people weirdly feel it’s ok to comment on things like this. By the time she starts school most people will keep their comments to theirselves…. And by the time they start secondary no one will bat an eye. Your parents will begin to love the name as they’ll love the person she is and the two go hand in hand.

Desiree has no negative connotations in itself. It has no chavvy links that I know of. It has lots of shortening potential and great nicknames.

if you like it I’d ride it out. Tell your parents to stop mentioning it. Say it loud and with confidence and any negative comments say ‘that’s rude’. And put a reminder in your diary for when she’s 11 months and if you still have concerns then change it. But I think by then it’ll just be her name and you’ll love it

I think people are very, very rude to comment negatively on your choice of name, they should be ashamed. Plus, it's a lovely name, as is her middle name, but the only opinion that matters is yours and your DH's. Try to find a standard reply that makes them understand they are rude and shuts the conversation on the matter down.

No. It's not. Desirée is not limited to one class or ethnicity. It's a perfectly fine name for any girl.

I think this is good advice.

I was trying to think of a polite way to ask this.Was wondering if the name was given for cultural reasons, particularly with Joy as a middle name. Only change it if it's what you want not because of pressure from others.

It's a lovely name. I bet it's the older generation (I'm one) that say they don't like it. Well fuck em. It's a lovely unusual name. Stick with it and give her a nickname xx

Absolutely agree with this comment ,

It does remind me of the word disarray. And a pop singer from the 1990s.
i have a child with an unusual name and we do get comments m. I won’t say it here as it’s outing. But his name is very common in my husband’s continent.
you will get used to it

Sure, but so are Anya, Charlotte, Juliette, Nicola etc.

It’s a beautiful name if you stick with it the comments will stop and she will grow into it and it will seem bizzare that it was ever a issue

Ignore people!!! They are twats. Dont change her name cos of other people you will regret it. As others have said it can shorten to some lovely nicknames. Desi and Rey are lovely.

The only woman named Desirée I knew was French and dual heritage. She was very beautiful and owned the name. I can’t say I’m keen on it tbh, especially the British pronunciation. If you can’t compromise with your dh, I’d find a pretty shortening of the name. I like Desi for example, or other alternatives. You could even go with Dee or DeeDee, which I think is both cute and could work at a more sophisticated level for an adult woman.

It’s not a name I would choose but I don’t dislike it especially as you can have a selection of shorten versions.

if it’s any consolation, I hated my daughters name, but I had named our first two babies so it really was DH turn ! I grew to like it, I shortened it and it was ok. She’s now an adult and I couldn’t think of her as being anything else it suits her, quirky / unique/ just her.

What's the matter with Joy? It's another lovely name.