Husband is trying to back out of naming agreement

[ThisZingyMember]

I'm looking for opinions on this situation. When I was pregnant with our first child, we could not agree on a name. Our tastes are just too different. At the time, I knew that our child was going to end up with a dull compromise name that neither of us would be keen on if we couldn't think of something else. Because of this, I decided to make an agreement with DH that he could name our first child any (first + middle) name that he wanted as long as I would be able to name our second child any (first + middle) name that I wanted. All went well, and he chose our first child's name. I didn't like the name he chose but never tried to interfere due to the agreement.

I'm now pregnant with our second child. I have chosen the name and told DH what it is. He is now trying to back out of the agreement. His argument is that this is an "extreme exception". He hates the name, so he should be able to veto it. My viewpoint is that it doesn't matter that he doesn't like the name. He shouldn't have agreed to this arrangement if he wasn't going to honour it. I'm not going to compromise when the point of the agreement was to avoid doing so.

He's being ridiculous - he's just making that up as some kind of 'gotcha' in an attempt to get his own way and renege on the agreement.

Whether any individual likes them or not, none of those names is extreme at all; possibly you might say that his choice of Athena is 'unusual' (assuming in the UK) - but 'extreme' is nothing short of a bare-faced lie.

Play him at his own game: go to the park when the playground is hoaching with little kids and call out each of those names, in the earshot of other parents, and then note the reactions of those parents. If any of the names were extreme, it would be very obviously proven by the looks on their faces.

I was expecting something more extreme.

Like Balonza.

All normal names. Do not back down. Sounds like a way to exert control.

All these names are fairly inoffensive mainstream, really, although taste is subjective.
I just feel a bit sad that what should be such a happy time is such an area of contention.

Olive is ugly as can be and doesn't go well with Athena IMO. Just goes to show how subjective this all is. 🤷‍♀️

🤣

Francesca is a lovely name.

I like all the names, but there’s no way I’d name a child something that DH hates. I also wouldn’t name my child something that I hate.

I think you need to agree otherwise the registrar won’t register the birth (unless you go on your own of course, but, he might get there first)

💯 agree.

I immediately thought of Mary-Kate one of the Olsen twins. This may or may not bother you.

Exactly.

I like the shortening of Olive to Liv and honestly, I don't think OP's picks go well together, either.

But what does my, or anyone else's, opinion matter when it comes to naming OP's kid? Literally nothing.

The Dh sounds really stubborn and bossy. I do hope Op sticks to her guns.

Oh well I dislike all of them so. In fact I actually think I prefer Electric Unicorn.

My judgement is, why are you playing childish ass games with your children's names? What happens when you have to make other decisions about them and their lives? Tug of war? Rock paper scissors? Arm wrestling?

The first thing I think of with Mary-Kate is the Olsen twins. Not a fan of hyphenated names personally, but it's not offensive. Francesca could be Frankie for short, which I quite like.

I've heard this done before - although it's more usually the other way around, with each parent naming children of the same sex as them.

The obvious issue there, though, is if you end up with multiple children of one sex and none of the other.

Sorry, I think his name is lovely, but yours is definitely of an era that has passed and not in a good way.

She will forever be linked to Mary-Kate Olsen or even worse Mary-Kay Letourneau. And Francesca just makes me think of old Italian spinster. And they are weird together. Mary-Kate with an American sounding middle name or Francesca with a Greek or Italian first name would be better.

You dont think Olive is from an era that has past? I forever think of On the Buses

Tough shit, that was the agreement and no one made him agree. He can't have it both ways. I dislike all of the names but if l had to choose l would go with yours. Whose surname are they having / had.

I had twins and we ended up picking one 1st name each and middle names were family names. I'm still wistful about my other favourite name -not helped by a character in a tv show l have started watching having that name. We aren't having any more children sadly

Bowser3000 😂😂😂

Mary Jayne.. Nn MJ?

Can you give an example of the names you wanted for first born and what they are called- no need to do actual names if you don't want, just similar style.

But yanbu if this was the agreement

I don’t like his name or the names you’ve suggested, they’re all dated or weird. Who calls a child Olive? Athena? Doesn’t even go together. Francesca is way too long to be a middle name.

Both of you need to get a grip.

My head automatically went '..and Ashley'.

I know people who hate my kid's name tho, so I have sympathy. Didn't help that my deaf Nan misheard the name and rang around the whole family with a totally mental non-name, which took me days to correct. I guess from there, the real one was an improvement 😁

He’s being a twat, I don’t particularly like any of the names but yours aren’t any worse than his and certainly not extreme in any way. FWIW I think Olive and Francesca sounds better than Olive and Mary-Kate 🤷🏻‍♀️

Olive is actually really popular now. There are at least 3 in my daughters small primary school and a family member just named her child the same. It’s definitely more up and coming than dated

That deal was never ever going to work. U should have gone first at least. Most men I know wouldn't have stuck to their side of the bargain ever. Surely you knew this!!!