Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

[Maxinemumof2]

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

Move on

I am with Reddit

No one owns a name.

You'll just have to move on or name the baby the same/ similar or use a middle name to honour your father.

Sorry for the mistake, I don't know why I wrote "him" I meant "her".

Technically she hasn’t named her baby after your father, she has used the feminine version. Anyway, he’s been in her life a long time and obviously has a good relationship with him. I agree with Reddit

Did she know you wanted to name your baby after your dad?

So he’s been in her life since she was 2, bringing her up with her mum? I would definitely count her baby as his grandchild. Why wouldn’t she name her after him if she wants?

I agree with Reddit. Get a grip

Move on. It's unpleasant to say that your child is his first grandchild (even if biologically correct) when your sister clearly considers him to be a grandfather figure in her child's life.

Use your father's name or a version of it as a middle name. One of my sons and one of my sibling's sons has our father's name as a middle name. The world didn't end.

There’s no point saying anything now, what will that achieve?

I think you should move on. Find another way to honour him.

Also, if he was in her life from age two, and she’s named her baby after him, she must think of him as her father. Why would you take that from her?

Or is there something else going on - like, did she know you were going to use the name and used it first so you couldn’t?

I am not planning on changing her name. I just want to ask her so bad why?

You are being unreasonable here , if she has lived with a man in a family unit since aged 2 , he is her father. Ok so she has a biological father who is also her father agreed, but if we are splitting hairs , you came along 8 years later , so for a long time she was their only child , I would like to think him loves you equally.
You will need another name , maybe put your ( frankly a little shocking opinion ) down to hormones.

I’m on the fence here. Did she know you were planning on using the name?

I can see why you’re upset but also think that if you say anything it’s just going to spoil what should be a nice thing for your dad and cause ill feeling all round. It’s also not very nice to say to your sister that he isn’t her dad - she may see him as her dad, and he may see her as a daughter. They must be close for her to have wanted to do this. Maybe she wanted to honour the relationship and his status as grandparent given that they’re not biologically related.

It doesn’t make your baby any less special.

Did she know your naming plan?

Her father is not absent, he took care of her.

It really depends on if she knew your plans or not. Why is her child not the first grandchild? It doesn’t make any second child and less special if they’re not the first. It sounds quite strange the way you talk about your father in some ways.

Irrelevant

leave this poor woman alone

Did you discuss this beforehand with her?

Can you use your mum's name - I presume it's her first grandchild too? Or use another version of your father's name - no-one owns a name which means you can use it too, or another version, if you want.

I think that's a lovely gesture on your sister's part (though possibly a little wounding to her birth father, so I hope she's thought about that).

I can see that you wouldn't necessarily want cousins with the same first name, or else yours will be 'Little Charlotte' to her cousin 'Big Charlotte'. I was similarly mildly miffed by my brother using a family name for his daughter, weeks before I'd planned on it for mine. Oh well. Time to find another name.

Come again?

Team Reddit

I bet you were a fabulous stepsister.
Either way, she has known him longer than you.

This isn't as big a deal as you think it is, really.

I have two siblings. Each of us has named one of our kids after my dad (either his name or the feminine version) as either a first or middle name. Two of those are first names.

It is 100% not an issue apart from the ego on my dad now 😂

Also makes for some fun Christmas morning shenanigans with grandad briefly pretending to nick half the presents as they've got his name on. The children are very kind about how silly and thick Grandad is.

You could use the same name. My GM and her two sisters all named their daughters the same (three daughters each, three names), made the family tree a nightmare but why not if that's the name you want to use? Or is there another female equivalent to the male name, but also why not name your daughter after your mother? If you have a son later you can name him after your father.