Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

[Maxinemumof2]

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

Your (half) sister clearly sees your dad as an important figure in her life. Not surprising when she known him since he was 2 and her picking his name is testament to what a great man he is. I suspect that he sees this child as his grandchild too.

If there isn't another variant then I would use the name as a middle name. The royals seem to all have Elizabeth or Charles as middle names as the respect element is important.

If you have a boy in future then you could use the exact name?

I think your father likely meant one hell of a lot to her given he raised her from the age of 2. Step parenting can be harder than parenting and she obviously wanted to show her appreciation for all he did for her. If I'm honest, I am sure he was incredibly touched. On the other hand, I don't think he is likely to be pleased with how rude you've turned out. You seem to be the exact opposite of him and I'm entirely certain he will love her child just as much as yours. Unbelievable.

OP, I also think this may be your hormones. I say as someone who is raging with them whenever pregnant.

Just choose a name you love as opposed to having a family name, it's getting too complicated.

Your sister and dad are obviously close and I would like you to consider what a wonderful gift that has been for you, to live with what appears to be a very loving blended family.

There sounds lots of positives here and kindly, you're looking for negatives.

Jesus, the amount of people on here blaming her "hormones."

Women are allowed to be annoyed about stuff when they're pregnant.... even if you wouldn't be annoyed at it, it's like going back to the dark ages blaming it on hormones.

It all depends on if she knew you were going to use that name?
If she did - YANBU
If she didn't - YABU

Do you not speak to her much?

Possibly a better excuse than the alternatives?

It does seem a bit strange that she’s named her child after her step dad if she has a good bio dad. But if she’s a bit weird like that, just distance yourself and get on with your life. You’ll waste a lot of time dealing with family ‘games’ if you let yourself. But trust me, it’s easier to just think fuck ‘em and do what you want to do.

I’d recommend giving your child a name that isn’t anyone else’s in your family. She’s a brand new little person who can have a name of her own.

This would really annoy and upset me. You’re better than me because I would’ve asked her about it.

Just move on. Your father might not have been her biological father but sounds like he was in every other regard.

I'm named after my dad's adoptive mum. My cousin (who's parent was her biological child)is three months older and is also named after her. This has never been an issue within the family. No one has ever, to my knowledge, said that my dad had less right to suggest the name for me, even though he was in contact with his biological mother by the time I was born.

But she clearly spent more time with her step dad growing up than her dad.

just pick a different version. Personally I don't get the obsession with using immediate family names, kids deserve their own names but just pick another honorific. Or name one after your Mom!

Doesn't sound like your in each others lives much anyway nor that you like her much so don't worry about her finding it weird

I tried to chat few times about it. She wanted it to be a surprise. I told her I wanted to name the baby after a family member but I wasn't sure who yet.

When we arrived in the hospital. Even my dad was surprised to find little him. So now she has little my mum and little my dad.

I don't know if Her father was hurt when he came in during the weekend. But My father apologised to him.

Hmm, no. Would you prefer “bitchy people”?

Feel free to edit my comments in your mind to suit your needs, don’t get upset 💐

It's not as bad as Star Trek: Picard, where someone has an illegitimate son with her dead husband's best friend who'd been in love with her all through her marriage, then named the baby after the dead guy and didn't tell the biodad for a couple of decades that he even had a son.

I'd still use the original name if you love it. I'm guessing the babies won't have the same last name and if it's something like Alexandra/Alexander there are plenty of short forms.

Come on. That's harsh. And she's pregnant. Cut her some slack.

If she says " X, he is like my dad" I'd at least have a reason. Wrong or not - according to me-.

Highly doubt your father apologised and as you didn't even know yourself which family members name you wanted, how the hell did you expect her to know? Did she take a crystal ball to the labour room?

So you spoke to her about it and said you wanted to name your baby after a family member but not sure who?

I don't think that's very fair to be slagging her off. That would have blocked out (I'm guessing) quite a few people you share so if she was sure that's the name she wanted quite early, I don't blame her for going for it.

Call your baby the same name 🤷🏻

Can you do a variation?

Dannielle, Danniella kind of thing?

Id be annoyed too, give the details you’ve added

Love you throwing that in there

i don’t believe you

(If you don't name your kids after a family member, it doesn't mean you love them less)

Thank you. Your response gave me a whole new perspective. You are right. She is a new person

Use the same name then?

My parents were quite happy to give me the same name as 2 older cousins.

I'm still relatively sane, even though I've felt 2nd choice for my Mum for all of my life.

just use the same name