Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

[Maxinemumof2]

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

Ok. You know my life better than me. Guess you do have a crystal ball!

So you hadn't actually decided you wanted to name your child after your dad, just that you wanted a family name, and she already had one child named after your mom, so if anything you're copying her with the family link, surely?

You've got no choice but to move on, have you? You've a right to be upset imho - not because you were more entitled to the name, but just because you missed out on the opportunity to use it and would naturally be miffed. However the deed is done now. Choose another brilliant name.

Wow, your attitude to your sister is really unkind. I come from a similar family- my stepdad came into my life when I was 4, my sister was born when I was 8- and I absolutely consider him to be my dad and would be heartbroken if anyone suggested my daughter wasn’t his grandchild.

OP's dad apologised to OP's sister's dad, presumably because he found it odd or thought there might be some hurt or resentment that the stepfather's name was used instead of the father's. I can see this, esp as the older sibling has the mother's name. None of that required knowing that OP also wanted to use the name.

Thank you for sharing. I don't want my daughter to ever feel that way.

I have cousin with the same name. My mother's sister's child and her brother's child. They have different surnames. It's no big deal.

One is known (for example) as Chrisy and the other Chris for Christopher.

This, then you sister can come on here and moan that her sister has copied her child's name, and we can all lay into her!

In DHs family it has long been a tradition to give all the first born sons the same name, so all the cousins have the same name, either as a first or middle name, and everyone seems fine with this.

Lol, ok.

So he’s actually been a father figure to her longer than you…

Im with Reddit. Please grow up.

YANBU. Going against pretty much everyone in this thread. He is your bio dad. Your half sister has a different bio dad that was/is also very present in her life. Did she know you wanted to use that name?

It’s frustrating but as she didn’t know your plans she’s not really at fault. I would go with the middle name for your DD.

Call your baby the same name, no one has a claim on a name. Doesn't matter if cousins have the same name.

Why is my father her father figure more than her own father who took care of her?

Again, she also has known my mother longer than me. Even the existence of Mars and Neptune. It doesn't change the fact that she has her own father

OP I'd be a bit irritated in this situation, I'd think fair enough if he was the only dad she'd ever known but as you've said that's not the case here. I can't see how anything would be improved by you saying anything now though! I'd research if there are any variants of your Dad's name that you like that you may not currently be aware of, or, possibly if you named your little one after one of his parent's or grandparents maybe? He might be really touched by that. It's a shame this didn't come up for discussion earlier in both your pregnancies.

No she didn't know. OP didn't either because she hadn't decided.

I had some sympathy with you until this point. Albeit I still think PPs are out of line for suggesting you sound an 'unpleasant person', this attitude is incredibly petty and immature.

Do you want the name of your beloved baby - a name they will carry their entire life - to be a gift of love or bestowed in a fit of pique? You'll then be reminded every time you say that name that it came from a place of resentment. Don't do it - either to yourself or your daughter.

Choose a name you like, not one intended to prove a point. A diminutive or variant of either your mother's or father's name, perhaps.

You can allow this situation to cloud what should be one of the happiest times of your life, or you can choose not to. Up to you.

I can see it from both sides - disappointing for you but also he was like a father to her for as long as she can remember so I don't think this is any different situation than if she were his biological daughter and just happened to get in there first. I'd just be glad that you have such a lovely dad that you both want to honour him. Don't fall out over it.

You do that 😂 your username says mum of 2, so if it was that important to you, you'd have used the name before. Get a grip.

@Maxinemumof2 you already have 2 children. If naming one after your father was so important, why didn't you name one if them after him? Who are they named after?

I before she gave birth. Maybe 4 to 5 months before. So it's not like I arrived in the hospital and decided "Oh the baby is gonna be named Alexandra".

Just give your baby her own name. Your sister has two kids named after both parents, it's nice but unnecessary. Give her her own name!

Did you start this thread in the hope she’d see it? It’s quite specific about some circumstances.

I said it before. The mum of 2 is a joke about my dog IRL. This is my first child.

MN is always odd about family names and acts as though there are no conventions around using them whereas in RL families usually talk about names and respect various traditions.
I can see why you're upset OP. It is odd that she named her DC after your DF instead of her own.
If you still want to honour your DF then you could use a different version of the name or choose a name that has a similar meaning. There isn't any point saying anything to her. It's done.