Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

[Maxinemumof2]

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

Gosh. Never thought I'd ever say this. Me too!

As you'll find out, kids have no memory of "before 2". Her biological father may be around, but the only real father she has ever known is the lesson her mother married. It's an honour to "your" father that she thinks of him so highly. He must be a very special person. Perhaps you could try to not be jealous and vindictive, and find a solution instead of creating problems.

Alternatively you might try some other forums. Somewhere out there there may be a place for you.

@Maxinemumof2 I'll ask again, why not name your DD after your mum? Then all this angst can be avoided.

Or she might react like most reasonable adults and not give a shit what you name your kid?

There's no law against cousins having the same name, OP. Just name him what you were planning to and say that you'd already been planning to name him after your dad if anyone asks.

I’m hoping your hormones are making you this ridiculous and you’re not usually this silly. Definitely move on and be happy for her

*her, not him, sorry.

Then name your baby after your mum. Problem solved.

If only you knew her. She will care and I will get in trouble with everyone for upsetting her. I will hear about it for 10 years. So you're right, I am just gonna move on. Best thing to do.

Use the name if you want to, or don't. No one else's business, just as it's not your business what name she picked.

Because she loves him. Next question ‘ why don’t you love her’?

I think you should just name your baby as you had planned.

Everyone on here telling you that your sister has the right to call her baby what she pleases- well that applies to you too.

You say she’s 10 years older and you live in different worlds- so no big deal if your DC have the same name.

Ouch! You've had some really tough replies! Congratulations on your little one. I can completely understand why you are upset. I'd be hurt too.

I do think it's going to have to be an upset that you keep to yourself though. No point in upsetting your sister now. I'm hoping she was just thoughtless. As per pp I do wonder how her own father feels about it.

How's your relationship with your dad? I think I would say to him that I was going to name baby after you but sister got there first, as names come up in conversation.

The internet can be a brutal place sometimes!

I have two cousins with the same name. Born in the 60s. Mumsnet frowns on this it seems, judging by the baby names board (as an aside, it amuses me that it's called baby names - as names are for life I tend to think it could be just 'names')

Why not just choose a name that you really like, and not worry about it being after someone 💕

I agree with you, OP. He's your dad, not hers.

I think, if most people actually had this happen to them in real life, they'd also feel the same.

But it's MN where nobody "owns" a name and you're not allowed to feel aggrieved and all siblings and cousins within a family can have the same name. 🙄

Your half-sister won't care, and you'll come across petty.

Your half-sister clearly adores and respects her step-father and has a great relationship with him. You should be proud of them both for that!

Name your baby whatever you want. But please be a better role model.

WHY DID YOU NOT TALK TO HER BEFORE NOW? My sister and I had our children 8 weeks apart (twice!) and each time we spoke very early on about names only with each other and our husbands. I only ever wanted one name (my daughter is the youngest of the two elder ones) and I told her that - not in a confrontational way but as two sisters speaking openly together.

Had she known - I would want to know why she gazumped you. If she didn’t then she isn’t psychic and clearly has a lot of love and respect for your dad.

My sister's first child is named after her already. So I can't use it.

Did she know you planned to do it?

I understand being annoyed. My brother named his son after our deceased brother and I didn’t like it. I didn’t even want to use the name, I just didn’t like him to do it. But I never said a word.

Either way you can’t say anything.

I don’t know why everyone on MN seems to have morphed into to immature smart arses for this thread. Big brave pack of bitches today.

Because she loves him, clearly.

HER DAD IS NOT ABSENT.

Yeah I think she’s an ass. Maybe she just liked the name and didn’t really think about it though - did she actually say it was in honour of your dad??

because if, for example, I liked the name Josephine and knew someone called Joseph I really wouldn’t think of those as being particularly related names. In which case she wasn’t trying to lay any claim. If she was doing it in honour of your dad specifically though I think she should have checked with you BECAUSE you were both pregnant at the same time so she knew you would be hunting for names.

did you tell her you might use it??

i really liked a name which was my friend’s mother’s name. I didn’t use it because I thought she might like to use it for her (potential future) child and she had lost her mum young so it felt like it might “ruin” it for her if a close friend used it. In the end she didn’t mind. But it’s just thoughtful to consider, I think. And if you want to use it bad enough just ask.

also doesn’t her bio dad feel a bit put out??

Sexist, much?

😀Dear God I can see that you fit in with those adolescents on Reddit. How old are you? Go ahead. She won't give a f* as it appears she's a grown up

SHE MIGHT JUST LIKE THE NAME

OKAY

I named my first child after my mum's step dad because he was a lovely man (luckily his biological grandchildren weren't fussed). I also named dc1 after my biological maternal grandfather, dh's favourite maternal uncle and his paternal grandfather.

It's a classic name which was apparently pretty common in both our families, my gran managed to marry 2 of them after all but in actual truth I decided if I had a boy I was calling him this based on one of my favourite historical characters when I was 7 or so.

Are you sure it's just your dad which influenced her name choice?