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Baby names

DD hates her name and surname

374 replies

9thFloorNightmare · 25/01/2023 22:21

She is 15 now.

The pregnancy was so good, the only issue was finding a name!
I could not choose. It was agony.

One day, just before her birth, I woke up from a lovely afternoon nap, the TV was on and 1st thing I heard / saw was an ad of a product with a human and - the image of a lovely young girl (I didn't know the baby's sex). Right at that time I decided if she was a girl she would have that name.

It is an international (could be pretty much from a lot of different countries and cultures) short, simple, easy to spell, sounds good (to my ears) name. In hindsight I could have choses a middle name, but I jus't couldn't ;(

She hates it. Hates her surname too which is a traditional surname in the UK.

Any one dealing with the same at home?

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Sarahcoggles · 25/01/2023 22:22

What's the name? Why does she hate it?

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Dalooah · 25/01/2023 22:25

Is it Zara?

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WimpoleHat · 25/01/2023 22:27

Very hard to judge without knowing the name!

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Dacadactyl · 25/01/2023 22:28

Id just say to her "well thats what you're called, so you best just get on with it". End of story.

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Twoinapod · 25/01/2023 22:28

I think a lot of people have hated their name at some people in their lives. I have a name that is sometimes suggested on here and it’s called a classic name. I absolutely hated my name growing up. I had unpleasant nicknames given to me, just generally never felt like my name.

im now in my 30s, I still don’t love it but it’s fine, it doesn’t bother me so much now.

there’s often a lot of comments from people saying they hated their name in their teens. I think it’s just part of the insecurities of being a teenager.

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Abasnada · 25/01/2023 22:28

No but she’s 15, this phase will hopefully pass.

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Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 25/01/2023 22:28

She can change it in 3 years?

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JoyPeaceHealthz · 25/01/2023 22:28

So her first name is unusual and her surname is typical?

That sounds perfect to me but I know she doesn't feel its perfect!

My dd changed her surname by deed poll.
She has no regrets.
Has she any ideas for a name that is similar that feels right?

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Dalooah · 25/01/2023 22:29

But to be more helpful, I had a cousin who hated her name. But it was a lot more than that- it wasn't actually her name she hated but who she thought her name represented- ie: herself- for being overweight, etc etc and she resented her parents for giving her a name because she didn't like the fact she was overweight. Took years to unpack but her name is perfectly lovely.

Personally don't think anyone can hate their name as it's what you've known all your life- unless it becomes one that's universally disliked all of a sudden- think, Karen or you share a name with someone notorious at the time etc.

I think there might be more going on with DD. Possibly she doesn't like the 'story' behind her name?

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defi · 25/01/2023 22:29

Is it very out there? Shorten to a nickname

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Heronswater · 25/01/2023 22:32

This is weird — you saw an ad with the image of a human and a ‘lovely young girl’, and decided to name your baby after her? Or the product the ad was for???

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Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 25/01/2023 22:33

What is the name?

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CrazyBiscuits · 25/01/2023 22:34

She can always be known as another name and then change her name by deed when she's ready. Same for the surname. In the great scheme of things its not a major problem. Just be glad its not something more serious.

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HoldingTheDoor · 25/01/2023 22:34

Personally don't think anyone can hate their name as it's what you've known all your life- unless it becomes one that's universally disliked all of a sudden- think, Karen or you share a name with someone notorious at the time etc.

What? Of course you can hate your name whether or not it has unfortunate connotations.

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9thFloorNightmare · 25/01/2023 22:36

Dalooah · 25/01/2023 22:25

Is it Zara?

nope -

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StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 25/01/2023 22:36

Is it something like Maya Smith?

When did she decide that she has the worst name ever and how could you have inflicted it on her? Just humour her and ask what she'd like to be called instead.

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madeyemoody · 25/01/2023 22:37

Someone did a thread like this a few days ago, wanted opinions but didn't name the name. Very confusing what they and you expect people to to reply to this with?

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AlwaysGinPlease · 25/01/2023 22:37

One of my DCs hated his name when he was younger. Now he's in his late twenties, he likes jt and he is glad he wasn't allowed to change it to the god awful name he preferred 😃

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9thFloorNightmare · 25/01/2023 22:38

Dalooah · 25/01/2023 22:29

But to be more helpful, I had a cousin who hated her name. But it was a lot more than that- it wasn't actually her name she hated but who she thought her name represented- ie: herself- for being overweight, etc etc and she resented her parents for giving her a name because she didn't like the fact she was overweight. Took years to unpack but her name is perfectly lovely.

Personally don't think anyone can hate their name as it's what you've known all your life- unless it becomes one that's universally disliked all of a sudden- think, Karen or you share a name with someone notorious at the time etc.

I think there might be more going on with DD. Possibly she doesn't like the 'story' behind her name?

that is interesting as she has some insecurities on top of being 15

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Mischance · 25/01/2023 22:38

She can call herself whatever she wants - my DGD changed her name - everyone got used to it very quickly.

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9thFloorNightmare · 25/01/2023 22:40

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 25/01/2023 22:36

Is it something like Maya Smith?

When did she decide that she has the worst name ever and how could you have inflicted it on her? Just humour her and ask what she'd like to be called instead.

yeah, something very like that but no Zs, Wz, Ys or Xs

since primary she creates nicknames for herself, I thought it was just kids' play, as a teen she started expressing she hates it

and no experience of unpleasant nicknames either - as far as I know

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Trisarahtops · 25/01/2023 22:42

I’ve hated my name since I was a child. Although it is actually pretty international - which is quite handy. It’s just that it’s so bloody dull and boring and doesn’t work with my surname (which hasn’t changed).

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adulthumanfemalemum · 25/01/2023 22:44

If it helps, well over half of my 14 year old's friends are using a different name among friends or demanding their parents (and everyone) uses a different name for them. Hating the name your parents chose is part of teenage rebellion.

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Penguinsaregreat · 25/01/2023 22:46

Is it Chloe?
When you say hates her surname is that your surname too? I’m just trying to work out if she hates her name because it’s different from yours which is understandable.Or if you have the same name is it something like Mycock or Shufflebottom? A name which children will make fun of. I think most teenagers want to fit in so if her friends are all called Ellie she might want to be called the same.
I wouldn’t change it though. What she liked now will not be what she likes in 10 years time.

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Gunpowder · 25/01/2023 22:46

I know quite a few people (mostly hooray Henrys) who are called something completely different and unrelated to their as actual name. I’ve been surprised at loads of weddings to find out someone is actually called Alexander or Victoria when I’ve always known them as Rufus or Mimi. Maybe she could be known by her initial? Or make up her own middle name. I hope she feels happier soon. It’s rough being a teenager.

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