DD hates her name and surname

[9thFloorNightmare]

She is 15 now.

The pregnancy was so good, the only issue was finding a name!
I could not choose. It was agony.

One day, just before her birth, I woke up from a lovely afternoon nap, the TV was on and 1st thing I heard / saw was an ad of a product with a human and - the image of a lovely young girl (I didn't know the baby's sex). Right at that time I decided if she was a girl she would have that name.

It is an international (could be pretty much from a lot of different countries and cultures) short, simple, easy to spell, sounds good (to my ears) name. In hindsight I could have choses a middle name, but I jus't couldn't ;(

She hates it. Hates her surname too which is a traditional surname in the UK.

Any one dealing with the same at home?

I have a love/hate relationship with my name.

My mum wanted something ‘unusual’ and she chose a name that certainly fits that bill. It’s actually Cornish but most people think it is Welsh.

The main problem with it is that it is similar (one letter different) to another name which IMO is awful, although it’s much loved on here for reasons I can never understand! Although it’s one letter different the vowel sound changes completely so it’s a very different ‘sounding’ name. I always get called the name I hate, which is more galling as it’s not my name.

I know it wouldn’t bother some but it has always bothered me, mostly because when I was little teachers and other adults almost seemed to see it as a personal nuisance to them.

And if that’s not bad enough my mum and dad also decided it would be ‘amusing’ to give me funny initials so swapped my first and middle names around. So rather than being Sarah Jane Smith I was Jane Sarah Smith known as Sarah, which while I’m sure they didn’t mean to has caused no end of disruption to my personal life at some points!

I really, really wish she’d just gone for a simple and ‘normal’ name, but I wouldn’t change it because it’s just a part of me by now and it would be odd if I suddenly said to people I’ve known since school that I wished to be known as something else. Retrospectively I may have considered changing it at 18, but maybe not.

I WOULD have removed my not-middle name a lot sooner had I known the headache that would cause in various settings but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Is your name Morwenna?

I wasn't keen on
My name at that age. Abs I still hate my surname.

My DD had a phrase of disliking her christian name in year 11. It is nothing out there but a fairly classic traditional name. Anyway, there were 4 or 5 at her large comp with the same name and non of her friends liked any of the people with that name and wouldn’t ever have spoken to her if they had realised her name first etc. We were so unimaginative in giving her that name (think Bronte sisters names or similar) it was awful and boring.

Anyway in her large sixth form at the same school (she is the only girl with that name) and two other girls with the same name as her best friend with the more imaginative creative parents so I don’t think she minds it anymore now.

Not far off but don’t type the actual name. Morwenna would be worse. I would have to change that!

Funny you should say Sarah as that’s the sort of name I wanted for myself. Something softer than the harsh sounding name I have. I didn’t want anything fancy or more original just something that felt more like me. My mum though made it all about herself and her ‘hurt’ feelings rather than how I felt, especially as I had told her my entire childhood how much I didn’t like it and it wasn’t ‘me’.

My initials were VD until I married, that was my nickname through school so you really can’t get much worse than that.? I beg parents to think about initials when choosing a name.
it was listed on memos as an abbreviation and has just generally been awful.

Tell her that.

When I was 8 I insisted on changing my name. I was called by a short version of my middle name. I insisted on being called by my full first name. I remember being really upset by the whole thing. There was nothing wrong with either name. I think its a phase Nd she will grow out of it. Maybe she'd like to choose a nickname to be called by that's unofficial.

Surely she can create a first name that’s similar, either by shortening, lengthening or rearranging letters.

Surname is tricky but only necessary on legal documents. She could double-barrel either her first or last name for everyday use.

It’s so bizarre that people are so adamant a child who has clearly hated her name since primary age will grow out of it.

This is such bull when you won't say the actual name

I was named after my uncles dog because my parents couldn't agree on anything. It's definitely a "dogs" name. I've always hated it and as soon as I could I started using my nice normal biblical middle name. Has she got a middle name she could use?

One of mine says her name is boring. She doesn't like the spelling, which is the traditional spelling and wants to change it to a made up spelling that sounds the same. She doesn't like her middle name which was my Nans.
The other says she wants to change hers as it's now more often used as a middle name and so is bland.

I had a reason to choose both their names and like them so I feel a bit sad they don't but as someone who hates their own name I can't make too much fuss about it.

I've said They can both do what they want when they are 18 but until then they are stuck with them.

It doesn't matter what the name is. The girl hates it. It could be the most beautiful name ever but she still hates it.

I'd let her pick a middle name for herself so she can use that.

Tgis is why we need the French system. Sadly, they no longer restrict the names to a pre-determined list, but their equivalent of a Registrar can refuse to allow stupid/airy-fairy/arty-farty/parentsthinkitiscuteorclever names.

Is it Sheba? I worked with a woman called Sheba once and was quite surprised as I’d only ever heard it as a dogs name.

That's ridiculous. A child can still hate a name that's on some stupid list. It won't solve the problem the OP has.

Did you type this in 1984?
“ Hooray Henry” 😳

It’s also funny that some people are adamant that you can’t hate your name.

try going to school when your drug addled parents called you Starlight. (Especially in the 80s & 80s if you have siblings with Gary/Laura/Jennifer/Paul type names)

Trust me. You absolutely can hate your name.

These fucking guessing games are tedious

It doesn't matter what the name is. The girl hates it. It could be the most beautiful name ever but she still hates it.

I think it does matter - as that really informs the response! If it’s, as a pp suggested, like Maya Smith, it’s a
perfectly useable name and you’d question whether it was something you’d let a teenager decide. (I was in that boat; never particularly liked my name, but it’s classic/inoffensive and not worth the hassle of changing. And I’m glad I didn’t change to some of the “cool” things I’d have picked at 15!). So it’s a perfectly reasonable response to say “look, it’s not causing you any problems, wait and see how you feel when you’re 18”.

If, however, it’s Ariel/Flash/Fairy (wildly thinking of other products!) and she’s known as “washing up” at school (kids can be cruel) then you can see why she may hate it so much and how it could be a real problem. So you’d advise the OP to think about a solution to that problem rather than just dismiss it as a “teen thing”.

We all hate our surname in this house. My husband was adopted & never got on with his adoptive mum - and so the name means nothing. It’s a boring name too - so l usually still just use my maiden one - my daughter is going to get rid of it soon also. Life is too short to be lumbered with anything that pisses you off!

It's not a guessing game though.

The OP asked whether anyone else had gone through the same, not "give your opinions of this name which I'm not going to tell you".