AIBU to ‘steal’ a baby name

[peppapeeej]

My sister has always liked a particular name for her ‘future child’. I love the name as a middle name for my daughter due next month. I mentioned it to parents and they immediately said sister would be so so hurt etc etc. It’s the only middle name I like with the first name we’re using and I have racked my brain for months over this.

If it’s relevant I do not care if she uses it in the future but imo her ‘future child’ is a hypothetical thing especially as she has expressed she’s not even sure she wants children in the first place. Feel so silly posting this but would like to know if I’m being unreasonable here.

Also no I won’t be saying the name as it’s outing

Cross posted with this:
i would talk to her if we were on talking terms but we’re not, and considering how we are at the minute i know she will say not to use it even if it’s just to spite me so talking to her right now isn’t an option

So you're not speaking to your sister and by pure coincidence you want to use a name your sister has on her shortlist for you baby. Definitely comes across like you're doing it to score points.

Why don't you just ask her OP? It wouldn't bother me in your sister's shoes tbh (as long as you'd asked me/considered my feelings), it's actually quite nice for cousins to be linked by a name, but I would never use a name I knew someone close to me loved without their blessing, that's just cunty. You could save yourself all the effort of trying to justify it to yourself/us by just asking your sister how she'd feel about it, surely that's the easiest solution?

it’s a very common name, it’s not like a very obscure name. if you look at short girls middle names on the baby name threads on here it is on pretty much every single one i’ve seen, this isn’t me being awkward this is me finding a name that i actually like and goes with the first name - i didn’t even think about the fact that my sister liked it for her future child until my mum raised it, this wasn’t done out of spite

I used to tell people I didn't really want children because I felt like I was never going to meet anyone to have a child with

I was actually longing for a baby but couldn't admit it

Don't do it - it's shitty

You have your answer from the people who know the mist about the situation, your parents if you dont want to listen to that maybe directly ask your sister ?

Cross-posted with your post about not being on speaking terms with your sister OP, that does make things tricky but (assuming you want to make up at some point) using the name might just be the final nail in the coffin for your relationship if things are already rocky. I guess it depends whether you do want to make up with her and if you do then I really don't think you can risk using the name.

If it's something common and generic like Ann or Grace or Marie or whatever the common middle names are these days, I'd probably go for it. It's a middle name after all, so hidden. If it's unique, I'd leave it if I couldn't talk to her about it. If it creates bad feeling do you really want that association of bad feeling with your child's name forever? Even if you're not talking, I'd still contact your sister and talk to her directly about it. If she says yes, no doubt she'll appreciate that you were considerate. Maybe that will help your relationship? If she says no, then you decide what to do. I'm not going to say don't use the name, but it might get in the way of healing your relationship with your sister if you do. You need to decide how important those factors are to you.

Oh for goodness sake, just use the bloody name

You're not talking to her, she doesn't want dc, you're making all mountain out of a molehill

"So you're not speaking to your sister and by pure coincidence you want to use a name your sister has on her shortlist for you baby. Definitely comes across like you're doing it to score points."

Yes that's how it looks to me.

Yeah but I just feel like, unless it’s a family name, does it really mean that much to you. And if it is a family name I think it’s fine for you both to use it anyway

AIBU?
Yes.
No I'm not because...
If you have to ask, you know.
You're not talking at the moment, plus your mum said not to do it...
There are literally thousands of names to choose from.
You clearly don't like her.
Name your child what you want, but own the impact you will have.

If it's just a "filler" name then you don't really like it that much do you? There's millions of names. Strange that this is the only "filler" name you could possible have and it just happens to be one that your sister, who you are arguing with, has always liked. If you gave your first daughter 3 names why didn't you use this name then if you like it so much? It's not a great look OP.

OP the title you gave this thread is very telling. You know very well that it will cause upset if you use the name. You have this golden opportunity to well and truly p* your sister off and you want to use it. Is it truly worth it though? Honestly just go for a quiet life and chose another name. You only want it because she loves it.

Just do it and don't tell them about it. Its just a middle name. She may never have children, or one of the same gender.

Ask her would she mind. X

Jesus.

You started a thread about taking your sister’s chosen name and using it. Then you’ve drip, drip, dripped pure venom about said sister.

Just use the name, you clearly think you’re right and entitled to it, and you sound as though you despise your sister anyway, so why waste anyone here’s time?

You some totally motivated by spite, by the way.

The more you post about her, the more clearer it becomes that you see this as a way of hurting your sister. Right, or wrong and for whatever reason, you KNOW your sister will be upset and your happiness about that really isn't as far under the surface as you think it is 🤷‍♀️

If it's May/ Mae/ Rae/ Sky/ Lily lines it's very popular so I'd say use it. Chances are the kids in the same class (as your hypothetical niece) may have the name anyway.

It's your baby your choice and as already said, a second name is rarely used.

You sound as though you'll probably use it anyway despite asking if you being unreasonable. Lots of people have answered and said yes you are, there's the answer.

Choose another

Drip feed. Of lots and lots of egg.

Right over the pudding.

Nope. Too far.

I think you started this thread expecting majority "no one owns a name, go for it hun!"
But nope, most believe YABU. You are, but you'll do it anyway.

Find something else, what’s the point of upsetting your sister over a name your kid isn’t even going to be called? Don’t be a bitch.

You don't love the name, you hate your sister!

i don’t but okay 😂