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DH's names driving me to tears
372

BFPDec21 · 30/03/2022 22:25

I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.

DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.

For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.

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Dinoteeth · 30/03/2022 22:27

Are you sure he's not trying to wind you up?

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User56436674 · 30/03/2022 22:31

I sobbed over DD2s name because her dad had the worst name ideas. In the end I said I was choosing a girls name and he could choose a boys. Thank god she was a girl

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PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 30/03/2022 22:31

@Dinoteeth

Are you sure he's not trying to wind you up?

Mm this. In which case tell him to cool it because he's being a bit of a dick!
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Tsuni · 30/03/2022 22:35

Balthazar is a demon. Tell your husband to call himself Balthazar if he thinks it's so great. Bet he wouldn't but he thinks it's alright to saddle a baby with the name

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PeskyRooks · 30/03/2022 22:38

I love the name Balthazar! Is it not one of the three wise men?

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BFPDec21 · 30/03/2022 22:38

No, he's not unfortunately. He spent half and hour reeling off names which were the same kind of bold names. I was growing more irritated so several times I said he's winding me up and to just stop. I stopped responding to the names and ignored him but when he finally said, for the 4th time, "what IS wrong with Balthazar though?" I asked him to leave the room.

He chose our daughter's name which I liked after months of disagreements with his girl's names so I suggested I choose our son's name. He's rejected every name on my list so far and refuses me naming him alone.

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Synchrony · 30/03/2022 22:40

I knew someone with a partner like this. He was eventually allowed to give the child their middle name. It's a crazy name but at least the first name is normal!

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Harlequin1088 · 30/03/2022 22:41

My partner wanted to call our son fucking Loki.

Loki.

I hit the roof. As if a kid is ever going to be able to get a job interview with a name like bloody Loki on his CV.

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PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 30/03/2022 22:44

what IS wrong with Balthazar though?"

Can you imagine the nicknames he'd end up with? Tell you op he'd end up being called some variation of balls (or worse)

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XDownwiththissortofthingX · 30/03/2022 22:44

Nothing wrong with Ozymandias. At least it's an actual name, which is more than can be said for most of the nonsense people are lumbering children with these days. Thank god for deed poll.

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User0ne · 30/03/2022 22:44

Both those names can be shortened to something "normal".

While you might not like those particular names (or shortened versions) it might be a good way to compromise of you're after different styles of name. He'll get pretty sick of having to call out "Balthazar" (instead of bazza) 15 times to get the little darling to put his shoes on anyway, perhaps it'll be karma

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Montague22 · 30/03/2022 22:46

Trying to think of some unusual but not awful names:
Caspar
Gabriel
Nathaniel
Lucian
Lucas
Orion
Cyrus
Septimus/Sep
Seth
Cassius

We ranked each other’s names out of ten and then added the 2 scores.

In all honesty though, you get to decide.

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BFPDec21 · 30/03/2022 22:53

I feel like I've gone through hundreds of names now including some of those, Montague. Apparently Seth, Gabriel, Lucas/Luca are "awful".

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bluebird3 · 30/03/2022 22:54

My husband and I have had a dreadful time agreeing a baby name both times. Completely different tastes. What worked for us is leaving it until the end of the pregnancy. Like week 38. Something about pressure being on helps and also names you think you like at different stages might change over time. I'd try saying to him you want a name that's easy for people to pronounce, easy for the child to spell etc rather than you don't want an 'out there' name or something that implies judgement on his choices.

Maybe allow him to choose the middle name? At the end of the day both may have to compromise to a name
neither of you love but are both ok with.

I can't remember what it was called but there was a website where you each can go through a long list of names and click names you like and then it shows any you both clicked at the end.

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PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 30/03/2022 22:55

Your husband isn't Mogg is he? Hmm

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Pyri · 30/03/2022 22:56

Lol, I am your husband in this situation. I think the hormones have gone to my head a bit as I can’t think of anything worse than a beige name like Oliver or James.

Something like Hercules would do very nicely right now. Might regret it when the baby is here though!

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Floralnomad · 30/03/2022 22:59

Thaddeus
Dashiell
Levinson
But more uncommon but still usable .

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CoffeeBeansGalore · 30/03/2022 23:00

What about Montague? Nn Monty
Inspired by a MNtter username!

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SuperSocks · 30/03/2022 23:01

Why don't you each go off and write down 50 names you like (I bet he can't think of 50 insane ones!) and then choose at least 5 you could tolerate from each others' lists, and see where that leads. Even if you're not massively keen on the ones you've shortlisted you can google names like 'X'... and see what that turns up, and at least this way it would help rule out the ones you really hate.

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M0RVEN · 30/03/2022 23:02

Will the baby have your surname or your husband’s ? It’s it’s his surname then it’s only fair that you get to chose the first name.

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TracyMosby · 30/03/2022 23:03

Op, he sounds like a bully. He chose your dd’s name which you sobbed over. Then said you cannot choose the ds’s name without his approval?

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Theunamedcat · 30/03/2022 23:05

Someone suggested Montague for ds2 I said its a fucking cat name I'm having a baby not a fucking CAT

I chose his name

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NuffSaidSam · 30/03/2022 23:05

Why don't you both come up with a list of 20 names (or more) are then go through each others lists with the aim of finding some common ground. Cross off any you absolutely can't stand and see if there are any left.

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lifesnotaspectatorsport · 30/03/2022 23:09

DH and I agreed we each had a veto on any name we didn't like. Maybe try that?

So he says 'Balthazar', you veto. You say James, he vetoes. Simple.

When you've exhausted all the really out there and really 'normal' names, then you can maybe each write a list of 10-20 compromises, don't say them out loud, just swap lists ... and so on until you find something you like.

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Thisbastardcomputer · 30/03/2022 23:12

The idiot I live with had the bright idea of calling the baby Bobby, our surname is very much like Ewing ..... reader I can tell you, it did not happen.

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