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DH's names driving me to tears
BFPDec21 · 30/03/2022 22:25
I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.
DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.
For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.
BFPDec21 · 30/03/2022 22:38
No, he's not unfortunately. He spent half and hour reeling off names which were the same kind of bold names. I was growing more irritated so several times I said he's winding me up and to just stop. I stopped responding to the names and ignored him but when he finally said, for the 4th time, "what IS wrong with Balthazar though?" I asked him to leave the room.
He chose our daughter's name which I liked after months of disagreements with his girl's names so I suggested I choose our son's name. He's rejected every name on my list so far and refuses me naming him alone.
User0ne · 30/03/2022 22:44
Both those names can be shortened to something "normal".
While you might not like those particular names (or shortened versions) it might be a good way to compromise of you're after different styles of name. He'll get pretty sick of having to call out "Balthazar" (instead of bazza) 15 times to get the little darling to put his shoes on anyway, perhaps it'll be karma
bluebird3 · 30/03/2022 22:54
My husband and I have had a dreadful time agreeing a baby name both times. Completely different tastes. What worked for us is leaving it until the end of the pregnancy. Like week 38. Something about pressure being on helps and also names you think you like at different stages might change over time. I'd try saying to him you want a name that's easy for people to pronounce, easy for the child to spell etc rather than you don't want an 'out there' name or something that implies judgement on his choices.
Maybe allow him to choose the middle name? At the end of the day both may have to compromise to a name
neither of you love but are both ok with.
I can't remember what it was called but there was a website where you each can go through a long list of names and click names you like and then it shows any you both clicked at the end.
Pyri · 30/03/2022 22:56
Lol, I am your husband in this situation. I think the hormones have gone to my head a bit as I can’t think of anything worse than a beige name like Oliver or James.
Something like Hercules would do very nicely right now. Might regret it when the baby is here though!
SuperSocks · 30/03/2022 23:01
Why don't you each go off and write down 50 names you like (I bet he can't think of 50 insane ones!) and then choose at least 5 you could tolerate from each others' lists, and see where that leads. Even if you're not massively keen on the ones you've shortlisted you can google names like 'X'... and see what that turns up, and at least this way it would help rule out the ones you really hate.
lifesnotaspectatorsport · 30/03/2022 23:09
DH and I agreed we each had a veto on any name we didn't like. Maybe try that?
So he says 'Balthazar', you veto. You say James, he vetoes. Simple.
When you've exhausted all the really out there and really 'normal' names, then you can maybe each write a list of 10-20 compromises, don't say them out loud, just swap lists ... and so on until you find something you like.
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