Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Eleven yr old wants to change her name

223 replies

ErskineMay · 14/01/2018 22:32

My 11 year old says she hates her name. She wants to change it this summer as she moves from primary to secondary. This is not a flash in the pan obsession, she has hated her name for a country or of years and has been fixated on one particular new name for about six months.

What would others do in this situation? Should we say she can do what she likes at 16 or should we support the change now?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
GaraMedouar · 15/01/2018 13:33

I love her L name but if she really wants to change I’d let her have a known as for a couple of years and change officially before GCSE’s if she’s still fixed on it, so certificates etc start being in her new name.
My son wanted to change to his middle name in Yr6 briefly , which I said was fine but it was short lived and he’s now fine with his first name.

Flomper · 15/01/2018 13:33

So shes L-E-A-H but wants to be known as M..A..T..H...I..L..D...? That seems a bit strange as they're both quite similar names to me. And L isn't that old fashioned and is not awful. I actually think M will date much more. I suspect she will prefer L as an adult so I would try and make her wait. Would she be happier with L....E....A as a slightly more modern looking version for secondary school?

Flomper · 15/01/2018 13:36

I have a friend who was called Zoe and changed it to Zowie as a teenager, but changed it back to Zoe as an adult as she realised it was a bit pretensious (her words). Also, when I was 11 I wanted to be called James!

Pibplob · 15/01/2018 13:40

I wouldn't let her change it, now knowing what her name is. There's nothing wrong with that name at all. I really thought it was going to be Joan which I could totally understand her wanting to change. I would make her keep it for now and she can change it when she's older if she still wants to. (Doubt she will by then)

Megs4x3 · 15/01/2018 13:40

Golly, aren't there a lot if people on here with crystal balls, convinced that they know what this youngster will do in the future. When at school I I knew several pupils who were known by something other than what was on their birth certificates. Some changed back again at some point, others not. I think you have to be 16 to do a deed poll but I could be wrong. Choosing another name isn't much different from having a nickname, so I see no harm in letting her try a new name out at this point. If it's a fad no harm done. Some people spend all their lives using a name that isn't 'theirs' and so long as there's no criminal intent, it's all good.

Megs4x3 · 15/01/2018 13:47

PS what any of us think about names is irrelevant. Names are a very personal thing. That said, I really like both.

Ellieboolou27 · 15/01/2018 13:57

I think you should call her by the name she wants to be called by and when she's 16 then officially change it, if she still wants to.

From aged 11-15 I wanted to be called Jamie Grin I look back now and think thank god I didn't change it!

Hebenon · 15/01/2018 14:26

My sister had a friend who was called Charlotte and wanted to be known as Emma. Her mother allowed her to change what she was known as when she moved schools (possibly at the junior school stage, can't remember now) and she used the new name for some years, eventually switching back. So I would go with letting her change and adding the new name as an official extra middle name. That way, whatever she decides in the future, she will have her adult name as part of her full name and be spared lengthy explanations. And both names will be on her GCSE certificates etc which will make life much easier for her whichever name she eventually uses.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 15/01/2018 14:28

The 'L' name is lovely and will grow with her.

What's to say she won't change to the 'M' name then want to change it again with the next fad?

When she gets to Secondary school there will be a lot more jibes about the 'M' name than her own name.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 15/01/2018 14:29

Let her call herself what she likes but don't be changing it legally until she's a lot older.

prettymess · 15/01/2018 14:39

I’d change the spelling to L.i.a. More individual to her and a bit more modern?

Buxbaum · 15/01/2018 14:39

Isn't it interesting how the consensus of the thread has changed now that we know the name and it has Mumsnet Approved status?

It doesn't really matter what anyone here thinks of either name and that shouldn't influence the advice that OP receives. It doesn't change the fact that L hates her name and has done so for several years. She's hardly asking to change it to Princess Consuela Bananahammock, either: M is a proper, solid saint's name, even if it is fashionable at the moment.

If you really want to dissuade her from using M then you could get a bit more creative with the nicknames for L - you could at a stretch have Lily, Lolly, Layla? Alternatively, the Hebrew pronunciation is LAY - uh, which has a cool Star Wars vibe.

Either way, I think the original consensus of allowing her to be known by a different name but making no legal changes yet remains the right option.

Hebenon · 15/01/2018 14:44

Yes, no need to formally change it until GCSEs approach. I do think both names are lovely and neither will attract any teasing. Both are beautiful and pretty classic. There will be tons of both around of similar ages.

You can look at popularity here:

names.darkgreener.com/#matilda

names.darkgreener.com/#leah

MikeUniformMike · 15/01/2018 15:15

I'm not keen on the L name but that's to do with knowing someone with the name.
I don't like the M name - it's too much of a little girl's name and it's popularity makes it seem a bit downmarket IMO.
11 is too young to change it but I would let her have the M name as a 'known as' name. What you call her at home is up to you.

bfgdreamtree · 15/01/2018 15:21

She's hated it for years, just let her change. It's all about you and your feelings about her name and your mother, but its her name not yours. There is a lot of baggage with the name and she has been telling you for years she doesn't like it.

Lonesurvivor · 15/01/2018 15:31

That's a lovely name but no help if she doesn't like it.
Could she use initial, wouldn't work with the initial of her second name or even surname? Like bare minerals make up artist is SJ Froom.

RidingWindhorses · 15/01/2018 16:30

No disrespect to your mum who I'm sure was lovely but I've always really disliked the name Leah. I'd want to change it too but might not have been so focused as to change it at 11/12.

I prefer Matilda.

MrsNacho · 15/01/2018 16:39

I was convinced it was going to be Edna!

The actual name is lovely but if she feels this strongly I think you are doing the right thing letting her be know as name and changing it officially for her exams.

Buxbaum · 15/01/2018 16:46

OP has specifically asked that posters do not retype the name in full as it will then come up on Google searches.

SadieContrary · 15/01/2018 16:46

If you'd allowed me to change my name at the age of 11 I'd have been all over it. I thoroughly disliked my name until I was about 30. Now I don't actually mind it at all (despite living overseas and loads of folk getting it wrong all the time Grin)
My DM just used to tell me to shut up and if I felt the same when legally of age to change it myself then to proceed then. Although I still wasn't a fan by the time I could change it myself by deed poll, I still didn't bother.
I think she was spot on.

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/01/2018 16:54

I’d revisit it in a year.

MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting · 15/01/2018 16:54

I mean no disrespect to anyone by this, but it's irrelevant if people on here like her L name because your dd doesn't.

It really upset my dd when people said but your name is lovely, she'd get upset because SHE didn't like it and extended family went on and on about what a lovely name she had, she felt like they thought their opinion mattered more than hers.

I'm not saying you should change it, only you (as opposed to random internet folk) know your dd well enough to decide if it's something which would benefit her or if it's just a stage.

Battleax · 15/01/2018 16:58

I mean no disrespect to anyone by this, but it's irrelevant if people on here like her L name because your dd doesn't.

YES indeed.

nuffsenuff · 15/01/2018 19:24

What about L becoming Leanne / Leanna?

BertrandRussell · 15/01/2018 19:37

WHAT ABOUT LETTING HER CALL HERSELF WHAT SHE WANTS TO CALL HERSELF???....

Swipe left for the next trending thread