Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

Hi Mimsy, glad you got it over with - hope the biopsy is straightforward. You are so positive, I am admiring. Do you have to wait to TTC again for the biopsy?

Hi Rachel and Gooldy. I am sorry about your lost babies and welcome here - great space to panic together about new pregnancies. My story in short is that I have lost 2 babies to fatal conditions at 13 and 20 weeks, but now have a healthy 3 1/2 month old (as well as an older DD born before the traumas began). I am proof positive that luck can change.. so I really hope yours does....

Good odds, LP! Fab news. And good news on the scan Gina (did I already say that?)

Hi Kittens. Hope you're okay. Glad to hear you can start trying again soon...

Good luck to Catlady, Coffee, and anyone else facing imminent scans (Rachel, Gooldy...).

And hi Numpty - had inlaws here for over a week; will get back to you shortly. Hope Josie is well. Babycant is still very smiley and cheeky and trying to stand up already...

Good Morning Ladies, I hope you are all ok.

Mimsy I hope that the biopsy goes ok. I echo CantDo re your positive attitude.

Welcome Rachel and Gooldy, I am now 13+6 and having all sorts of panics so lots of support from here!!.

Coffee are you back from your holiday? How are you feeling?

I am shattered, I have been off for a week spending some time with my sister and her children..... they are a very poor advertisment, they have been dreadful, behaviour awful, constant tantrums and answering back.... We have learnt a lot of what NOT to do! Finding it harder than I thought coming off the anti depressants and am feeling a bit low so think I will book another reflexology session to try and boost my mood a bit!

I am still waiting for the results from the blood work, I know its only been a week but I'm impatient, although it seems no news is good news as they would have called if there was a problem.

FMU called to say that they are changing my scan to 18 weeks as the Consultant now wants to do it instead of the sonographer and he is on holiday earlier. I have also received a letter for a scan at 20 weeks so at least we will receive some reassurance!

Enough of my ramble! Love to all G x

Hi Gina. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling a bit low, but interestingly so am I - and I'm not coming off any anti-depressants. I've suddenly kind of withdrawn from everything and don't want to tell anyone I'm pregnant or anything about it (really not like me at all to keep things to myself). And I've got very sensitive too. Am wondering if it's the low to follow last week's high - and hoping it's not going to last. Unfortunately, I'm now also starting to think about all the other things that could go wrong so hoping that will pass and I don't get too paranoid. Any tips gratefully received.

Crazycat - I was inspired by you and your crazy gym antics and went for a swim at the weekend. It did make me feel better, albeit briefly, so maybe you're not so crazy after all. Hope you're doing ok.

Lots more scans coming up then next week? Gooldy and Rachel and Crazycat - any others? I'm sorry I can't remember when coffee and drama were due for theirs. Are they a bit later? Hope you're all doing ok anyway. Its the waiting that is so tough. Hope you're finding some distractions.

And love to Numpty and Can't, and Josie and babycan't (and Lins and Shangrila too) - our stories of hope. Wouldn't it be lovely if we came back in a year and all of us were with newborns too? An image to get me through the rest of the afternoon. xxxx

Hi Poot,

I am booking back in for a reflexology session as that made me feel much more positive last time. I think having the hyperactive family from hell staying with me hasn't helped and things will improve once they have gone in a week or so!

I have assumed that the reason I have been feeling this way is because of the ADs so its very intersting to hear that you are feeling very similar! Maybe its a second trimester sympton to do with the hormones!?

When is your next scan?

G x

Well, I think it's at 18 weeks as well - so about the same time as yours. They do the beautifully named anomoly scan between 18-22 weeks here, and the consultant who did my nuchal suggested I might want to have it earlier rather than later for some further reassurance. I'd be scanned weekly if I was allowed, so that suits me. Although of course now I'm worried that something awful might not show at 18 weeks but would show by 22. I'm going to be a nightmare through all this - assuming I don't miscarry along the way..... So you can see my state of mind at the moment! xx

Hello all, briefly as little J is unsettled this evening - Poot, I can understand the 'withdrawn' feeling. I didn't tell many people I was pregnant, to the extent that when we had J there were some fairly close friends who still didn't know! I think I just wanted it to be a private thing, something that involved DH and I and only those others who I felt needed to know. It wasn't that I didn't value other friends as much, more that I just didn't want to talk to other people about being pregnant.

Can't believe little J is already 5wks! And as for Babycant trying to stand up - .

Sending positive vibes to all who are approaching scans, and reassuring vibes to Gina and Poot. And Kittens and Mimsy, thinking of you both as well. xx

Hello all, not had a chance to catch up. Sorry.

Just to let you know baby Frank Henry arrived June 30th after a really quick labour. Came into hospital at 4.30am at 4cms, delivered all 8lb 5oz of him at 6.45am. No tears and a quick natural labour.

We were discharged same day at 1pm but were rushed back to A&E at 11pm. He was vomiting bile. After a barrage of tests ruling out pyrolitic stenosis (sp), GBS and Meningitis he has been admitted on IV antibiotics. He has an elevated infection marker but they are not sure why.

Today they have reduced his antibiotics from 3 doses a day to one and if his blood marker has reduced by enough we can be discharged tomorrow. All signs are positive right now.

Will catch up with posts. Hope you are all well.

Ahh, congratulations Allstars. Sorry to hear the little one's had a stressful start but good to hear he's on the mend. x

Allstars! Lovely news that your little boy has arrived, what a gorgeous name you've chosen for him too.

Sorry to hear he's not been well, being in hospital with a newborn is such a stressful experience. I remember the daily blood tests with DD and just hoping her jaundice levels were reducing enough to be let out. It feels never ending! Fingers crossed for good news today.

Can't - babycan't is very ambitious with all that standing up! Sounds like she's doing brilliantly.

Gina, Poot, sorry you're both feeling a bit down. I can totally relate to those feelings. My scan is a week today and I think even if a miracle happens and we get good news that I won't feel like telling very many people at all. Only those close friends who we see all the time. Everyone else, even some family, we'll wait I think. Numpty you summed it up nicely.

Mimsy, I hope you're doing ok, sounds like you were well looked after at least which I'm sure has helped.

Hi to everyone else! xx

Allstars congratulations on little Frank Henry, gorgeous names! I hope that the reduction in the antibiotics goes well and you can all go home together tomorrow. xx

We received the letter from the hospital yesterday to say that we are low risk for T21 at 1:1532 with the blood reducing the risk from 1:790. Does that sound ok to everyone else? Didn't sound as convincing as I'd hoped to be honest, after all the odds of spina bifida was 1:1000....

rushingrachel when is your appt this week?

Gooldy how are you doing?

Crazy I will be counting down the days with you to your scan!

Congratulations Allstars - I'm glad you got your natural labour after the earlier worries. I hope that Frank will be allowed out of hospital soon, I cannot imagine how frightening that must have been and I hope when he goes home it is with the confidence that whatever it was will not happen again. Sending positive vibes and hugs your way...

Gina - I suppose whatever the odds, there is always that risk of being the 1. However the chances of being that 1 AGAIN must truly be very small, so do try to have some confidence in those figures - if you'd not had your previous experience you would probably think they were good statistics.

All quiet from Drama, hope all is OK?

Better go, need to catch up on sleep (yawns)... xx

Hello all and thanks to so many of you for kind words of welcome.

Just back from my appointment at the hospital. Consultant very nice and calming and I managed not to be completely hysterical with fear, although my blood pressure was quite high! I did tell him that I really wasn't considering myself as a pregnant person until after the scan and he said that was "perfectly understandable". So all that I really did was give him all my medical history and the facts about last time and then he said "well, we need to get this done as soon as possible, what about next Thursday". So going afternoon of the 12th for the dreaded scan. I will be thinking of you Gooldy that day and hope that catlady will have had good news on Tuesday.

I have to say I am glad that I now know when I will have news and have a date to focus on, but I am absolutely numb with fear. And unable to even begin to think about how I will feel if something goes wrong again this time. I catch my husband looking at me sometimes and know that he is really worried about how we'll cope if it's bad news again.

I've not done too badly, trying to stay upbeat and keep moving around and doing stuff and seeing people to keep cheerful, but yesterday was one of those days when there were pregnant people absolutely everywhere I went and I ached inside for it to be me this time around. Irrational I know and just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Virtual hugs to all, it's such a horrible time.

Hello all just popping in quickly - OH's work dongle thing is a bit temperamental so have only had time to skim read. Getting internet installed on Friday though thank god i have been quite lost without it!

Allstars massive congratulations on the birth of baby Frank Henry such a lovely name - i hope i have such a quick labour! Sorry to hear he is a bit poorly but it's good news that he is in safe hands and getting better.

Poot sorry to hear you are feeling a little low - just try and take things day by day lovely. I can't offer any better advice as to be honest i still go through the same myself. I have a very good feeling everything will be just fine for you though.

Gina good news on the blood results i think they sound great - you are low risk which is really all that matters. I hope you can breathe a little easier now x

A big welcome and congratulations to Rachel and Gooldy - you have found a good place to come here, it as been a lifeline to me and there are so many stories of hope.

As for me i am good - 13 days to go! I am feeling increasingly immobile as i have terrible SPD but we have the new place all sorted now so at least i can rest up on the sofa. Keep your fingers crossed that i don't have to wait too much longer!

Good luck to everyone who has scans coming up xxxx

Oh Allstars - congratulations on the arrival of your little star Frank! Had to laugh at you saying you'd had a quick labour, given that you've kind of half been in labour for about the last three weeks! But am very pleased for you that the hospital part was short and uncomplicated. Hope the signs of infection have all cleared and you can be discharged for good today - it's just not what you and Frank need is it? Give him a big cuddle from us and well done you!

Gina - your odds look great! That's a massively low risk. I know there's always a '1' in there, but to us, those odds look fantastic. Hope you can take some reassurance from them.

Katie - really lovely to hear from you. I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were getting on. Only 13 days to go??! Am getting my pom poms back at the ready! Lovely to hear from you but sorry you're electronically incapacitated without internet access, and physically with the SPD. I'm only vaguely aware of what that is, but it sounds horrendous. Why did I used to think that pregnancy was such a lovely experience? Not very much I've learned in the last 18 months has suggested that is even half true.... Sounds as though all these little bundles of joy are worth it though. x

I'm off to France for a week from tomorrow so won't have any internet access. Crazylady - I'll miss your scan! I'll be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for some good news. I get back the day of Rachel and Gooldy's scans, so I'm really hoping to get back to a flurry of relief. In the meantime, I'm sorry I won't be around to offer some reassurance as you wait. I found the week before so difficult - all I could do was keep busy so that time passed a bit quicker. Only a few more days and then you'll know. xxxx

I wish I could say I was looking forward to my holiday, but I'm actually going away with DH's entire family (and some of their friends) for his dad's birthday celebrations. And to be honest, I'm dreading it. His parents know about everything, but no-one else does and I just don't want to tell them. Guess we have to. And I don't get on at all with one of his sisters. She's a slightly difficult person anyway, but really has an issue with me. Didn't even come to our wedding! So a week with her doesn't fill me with joy. And (sorry to moan!), both his sisters are wafer thin with perfect little figures, and frankly I'm really not. Never really was, but am now about a stone heavier than I was before the first pregnancy, and not loving it to be honest. Have already told DH that nothing on earth would induce me to sit on the beach next to them, but he just thinks I'm being silly. Which doesn't help my mood! Its going to be a long week....

Sorry - this got a bit long again! Sitting on my own in the office so needed to unload a bit. Hope everyone else is doing ok this morning and fingers crossed for lots of good news when I get back. xxxx

I'm glad your consultant was reassuring Rachel and that you have a scan date. The countdown is hard. Trying to keep busy is the only way I think. Time seems to be grinding very slowly along indeed...

Would some good books help? I never did that Amazon order I talked about 100 posts or so ago... might do that today and get a rivetting read or two to help. Although to be honest I'm struggling to apply my brain to anything right now! Work is pretty much a right off, but I have 6 days left of this mega-contract I'm working and I have a long to do list to plough through before it's over.

Katie I'm sorry to hear you've been struck with the dreaded SPD. A friend of mine was really bad with it in her last pregnancy. As if those last few weeks aren't uncomfortable enough. Do you find one of those big stretchy maternity belts any help?

Poot I hope the family behave themselves on holiday and you get a chance to relax a bit. Family can be so difficult sometimes. Hopefully the sisters will be all sweetness and light for their dad's birthday and will leave you be!

I've just been into town with DD to have brunch with a friend who's baby is due in 2 weeks. It was really lovely, but exhausting keeping a toddler entertained on the tube. She kept trying to escape at each stop and was reading Metro over everyone's shoulders! Then got so tired on the way home I had to carry her all the way home from the bus stop in the rain. Off to have a nap while she does... xx

Crazylady, yes, scan date is good and consultant very pleasant ... he was mostly understanding although he looked a bit taken aback when he tried to give me a booklet about birthing facilities at the hospital and I practically threw it back at him and said "no, I might not need that, might I?". He kind of shuffled it back across the desk and said "keep it in a drawer at home in case you do".

I am trying not to count down really, in fact I am pretending it all isn't happening so far as possible. This is hard when I am shattered and all I feel like eating is copious amounts of biscuits, but I am doing my best. The fact I haven't told anyone helps too, I even lied to my mum. She asked me point blank if I was pregnant (it's the refusing the odd glass of wine that gives it away) and I said no because I couldn't face discussing it. She has recently been diagnosed with cancer (which has been stressful in itself) and I don't want to share the worry or put the hope anywhere near her agenda until there is something to be hopeful about. I sympathise about getting nothing done. I was talking to a colleague earlier and trying to make some point or another and lost my train of thought completely when it struck me that next Thursday is actually over a week away.

Poot sympathise re the holidays ... I have a very difficult relationship with my inlaws (mostly because they are very difficult people) and your skinny sisters in law don't sound ideal beach company. I just have to be zen around mine and ignore them as much as possible. Suggest taking lots of reading material and reminding yourself as often as possible that it's your holiday too.

Yay Allstars, that is brilliant. Frank is a great name (I only know one Frank and he is a massive spunk ). I hope you are both home from hospital now and all well.

Poot, hope you manage to have a nice time on your trip. Family holidays are so fraught, even if you love them to bits. I felt like I needed another holiday after our holiday.

Agree with the distraction of a good book. I am reading a great book at the moment: "Brother of the more famous Jack" by Barbara Trapido. It's not new, came out in 1982 I think, but quite funny 'girl coming of age' story set in England in the 60s I think. Also been reading some Edith Wharton, can recommend.

Good to hear from you Katie too. Glad you have settled in. Hope you have lots of box sets to keep you entertained on the sofa. We are going slowly through The Wire, on to series 4 now. I find it gripping, and I hate police shows! My all time highlight was the episode where Stringer Bell took his shirt off.

Cant they didn't say I had to wait to TTC until after the biopsy. I think I might though anyway. Still waiting for my letter with date to come in. Hope it is soon...

Gina your results are very good. You must be so relieved. I am so pleased!

Good luck to the ladies who are counting down the days until scans ... Hope the days fly by. x

P.s. I am going to meet Numpty and Josie tomorrow ... looking forward to it!

Allstars - hoping that you and little Frank are now at home, thinking of you and hope the early days go well .

Welcome to Gooldy; will be thinking of you, Rachel and Catlady next week.

Hoping Coffee is having a good holiday... although I think the Scottish weather is living up to it's usual reputation.

And Katie, hope you are enjoying the new flat, what a shame about the spd - a friend of mine had it with her first pregnancy and had to get taxis everywhere. Hopefully you've not long to go until your baby is here though! Although if they are comfy where they are, they may hang in there a while longer ...

Better go before chaos resumes, hope I've not missed too many people. Mimsy it was great to see you yesterday and I hope you have a lovely time in the Cotswalds and with the rellies. xx

Hello lovely ladies, I am back, but after 2 nice weeks off I am having a hectic day at work, so just a quick post from me. I have only been able to skim read, but will catch up properly soon.

So, holiday was good, lots of rain but we were able to do some of the things we had planned. I have been feeling shattered all the time though, and had to eat constantly, so it is good to be home close to my fridge :) I also had a massive scare as I had lost all the pregnancy symptoms (except for the tiredness) for a few days, and I had become convinced all was lost. They did come back eventually, so I hope everything is ok. Speaking of which, my first scan is next Monday and I?ve gone into denial mode again. I just can?t imagine how things could be ok, and also I am very busy at work so at least I am distracted during the day, which helps.

Crazycat, good luck with your scan tomorrow, I might not have time to post before but I?ll be thinking of you. I?ve realised my scan falls on an anniversary too, exactly 6 months since we lost Silvia....

Hello to the newcomers, to Mishta (my heart was racing only reading about your scare with little Bella, so pleased everything is ok now!), Katie, Kittens, Drama, Littlepoot, Cantdo and of course massive congratulations to Allstars, I hope the little one is ok now!

Last but not least: Gina, I was so happy to read about your scan, great news! About feeling depressed: it must be so much harder coming off the pills at this time, but I just wanted to say that more often than not I am feeling quite down as well, and have nightmares about this pregnancy. I am feeling very guilty because I seem not to love this baby, which is a terrible thing to say, I know. I just can?t face talking about it with anyone else except for my dh and you ladies, I had my BIL and SIS here for the week-end and they have a 6-month old baby girl, and my SIL was asking me if I want a boy or a girl, it seemed like another world... it wasn?t upsetting though, it?s just like a mindset I can?t get into...

Anyway, so much for a short post. It feels good to be back and talk to you all again. xxxx

Coffee! Welcome back, we've missed you.

Just popping in quickly as I've got a mega hectic day ahead too. It's my last week in this big contract I've been working and I have a mountain of work to clear in the next few days.

My scan is tomorrow at 3. They also do all the blood tests at the same time, so I will probably be there a while and won't get a chance to post until after DD is in bed at 7ish. I'm in denial too Coffee, there isn't a cell in my body that thinks it's going to be good news tomorrow, although there is a painful thread of hope that keeps tightening around me ever so often.

How is it that scans often fall on anniversaries? It seems so uncanny.

Rachel your scan is on Thursday isn't it? And I think there are a couple more this week aren't there?

lots of love xx

Hello All - hope you had good weekends!

Welcome back Coffee glad you had a nice break and glad to hear you are feeling suitably awful again - symptoms do definately come and go i think.

Crazycat i will be crossing my fingers for you tomorrow and all the other scans coming up (Coffee and Rachel and anyone else!)- difficult times i know.

I am ok - due a week today and have everything packed and ready now so just playing the waiting game. I am finding this last bit rather difficult myself - seems so close but yet so far and i can't help worrying. I'm sure i remember Numpty, Can't, Allstars thinking the same recently though so i hold onto their positive endings.

LP hope you are having a great holiday! Kittens how are you doing? Have you had any more news from the tests?

Love to everyone Katie xxx

Wow, I can't believe it's only a week to go Katie! I hope the little one arrives on time so you can get some eventual relief from your SPD. I bet moving house and decorating have been somewhat of a challenge!

Catlady, I am thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow's scan. Also keeping fingers crossed for Rachel and Coffee over the coming week.

Rachel, I know what you mean about the birth plan info. In my last couple of pregnancies my team have even stopped making booking in appointments until I know all is ok. I prefer it that way. It's horrible having to throw away the Ante Natal book each time, not to mention the rather untimely emails I used to get from the NCT around my due date because I'd forgotten to tell them I was no longer pregnant! Hopefully, you won't be in that situation this time.

No word from Allstars yet. I do hope all is well with little Frank. You're both on my mind.

Katie, thanks for asking, I have done all my tests now as far as I'm aware. I have an appointment on Friday week (20th) to discuss any findings. One half of me is taking if for granted that I can start trying again on my next cycle and then there's this little voice in my head that's saying "what if he says it's unlikely to work out for me"? I'm just so sick of being in limbo. The sonographer who did my scan to check my womb referred to the consultant I was seeing as "The Miracle Man" - I hope there's something in that!

Hey Kittens good to hear from you - i really hope your appointment on the 20th is helpful, you deffo sound like you are in the right hands with the 'miricle man' x

Kittens - I'm just thinking I recall Mishtabel mentioning some herbal remedy at some point, not sure if that was more to do with IVF but might be worth looking back through the posts on here.

Good luck Catlady! Really hope it goes well for you tomorrow, I understand exactly what you mean about that painful thread of hope though.

Coffee, glad you had good hols even if in typical Scottish weather... I hope the next week passes in a blur of activity so that you don't have too much time to fret about Monday.

And Katie, I think for me the issue with final days was not knowing what would happen; first time round I pretty much expected to be induced (maternal history here!) but this time I was really hoping to have a more 'normal' labour. However even though I didn't have that labour, being given pessaries worked out fine. So even though you don't know what will happen or when, just be prepared to get the best out of the situation. And remember, the NCT do have a pregnancy and birth line, helpful if anything crops up suddenly that you want more info on! xx

Hello katiecubs, I'm still keeping an eye out for you, watching your progress. Good luck for next week (or whenever LO decides to make an appearance). {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}