Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

Hello everyone, I apologise in advance this is going to be very much a me post.

Back from the scan, so far everything looks ok which is a huge relief. The sonographer was very experienced and said that everything looked fine so far, 2 arms and legs, the heartbeat was strong and they idetified many of the organs that they can this early. The nucahal fold measured at 1.7 which sounds good but of course we now have to wait for the blood work. I have also been booked in for a scan at 16 weeks to check the brain as an indicator of a reoccurance of spina bifida. I am hoping that this is just standard practice and not becuase she saw something that worried her. I hope that had there been something there that was a worry that they would have said so and sent me for a CVS. The timescale that I have been given to hear from them is 5-7 days by telephone if there is a problem and 3 weeks by letter if the results are low risk!! I am also 4 days further on than I thought and so my due date has changed to 1st Feb.

I spent all weekend being positive and "strong" and the minute I walked into the room at the hospital I was a blubbing mess. However I have decided to try and stay positive!

I am back in work and have actually shared the news with some of my staff as it was getting a bit hard to hide it! The ladies here and I have had a good cry together!! It was actually quite amusing when the client walked in and there we were all blubbing over my scan photos.

I will come back soon to read everyones posts but have to run as I have my family over from Guernsey staying with me for a week arriving today!! Lots to do!

Love to everyone xxxxx

Gina that's fantastic news!! I'm so pleased the scan went well. With the early scan for spina bifida - that is most likely to be just an additional scan for you given your history. My consultant looked at the brain and spine but told me it's not possible to see anything other than the most severe cases (anancephaly type things) at the 12 week scan. I'm sure they're just getting you in early so that you can be reassured as soon as possible.

Wow - you have an even longer wait for the blood tests than me! And I thought ours were slow. It is possible that the blood tests change everything, but I'm also trying to keep positive. Me worrying won't affect the outcome anyway, so I might as well at least enjoy these few days after the scan.

As for CVS - your risk of a chromosomal problem (which I think is all that CVS picks up - unlike amnio) is pretty low with a nuchal of 1.7mm. Mine was 1.5mm and if I hadn't had a previous chromosomal problem, that would have given odds of 1:1800 for Downs and about 1:20,000 for T18 and T13. Yours must be similar (better if you're younger than me). Way better odds than the risk of miscarriage after a CVS anyway, so they wouldn't push you towards one.

And don't worry about the minor freak out at the hospital - I did exactly the same.... Just couldn't bear being in that room again and I was surprised how tough I found it. But its all looking great, so enjoy!! Congratulations again and hope the next three weeks passes quickly for you while you wait for the next scan. xxxx

Great news Gina! And I second LP re being blubbering mess in scan area/room, that was me too. Re being offered a later scan, again I'd say it's because at this early stage there is only so much they can see - I had further scans at 14wks and 18wks to check on brain and other developing systems. I'm guessing they offer you a scan around 16wks as that would be earliest you could get amnio done if anything worrying is apparent at scan. But being offered the scan does not mean there is a problem, just that they are covering all bases; you could call it a 'reassurance' scan if that helps you any.

Well done! And I'm glad you were able to share the news at your work. xx

Lovely news Gina, so glad the scan went well. I think Poot and Numpty are right about the 16wk scan, sounds like they've booked you in at the earliest opportunity rather than leave you hanging until 20 weeks.

I'm feeling increasingly wobbly about my scan as it gets closer. It's two weeks tomorrow. The thought of going back into that FMU and into the scan room is quite daunting to say the least...

Great news Gina

Poot - I found nectarines and peaches really good for ms too. I think it's something to do with the fact that they have a really clean fresh flavour which seems to cut through that sticky sickly feeling. The melon you're talking about is cantaloupe, I have a feeling I've eaten that to calm my sickness down in the past too.

Excellent news Gina. I am sure the hospital are just offering an extra scan for earlier reassurance.

Still no sign of littlestar. He is due on the 31st but I have a feeling that despite all this early messing around he is going to keep us waiting! DD is happy that he is being slow though as it means she gets to watch much more TV than I normally allow.

Quick hello to everyone else. I have to be quick as I have an OU assignment due and with one thing or another I have not managed to study as much as I would have liked.

Xx

Just quickly dropping in to say a quick YAY for your scan Gina It's so lovely to hear good news xx

Tea time here, so must run but hello, love and hugs everyone. Have a good day xxxx

Allstars - have you managed to shift little star's position yet? I do hope so...

I have just seen the title of this thread and it is ... well, me, so dropping in to say hello.

I had a termination last year after a dreadful few weeks which started with a big nuchal scan reading, progressed through a horrible CVS, and ended in diagnosis of a serious heart defect meaning the foetus was unlikely to survive birth. It was the most horrible time of my life.

And now I am pregnant again, 9 weeks, and scared witless. I told myself I had got over last year enough to try again, but in my heart i know if it does happen again I will be just as gutted. I know if I want another child I have to give it a try and hope for the best and that's what I've done. But it doesn't make the waiting any the easier.

This time around, I haven't told anyone other than my husband becaause of what happened last time. I'm just waiting to get through the 12 week scan before I even allow myself to think of myself as pregnant. It's sad really, as I am going through all the usual stuff (especially dreadful tiredness) but can't allow myself to contemplate everything being ok at this point. And then I feel bad because I feel as though I've already mentally written off my baby when it could be quite ok.

All my sympathy and empathy goes out to anyone who is or has been or will be in the same situation.

Oh Rachel - welcome, massive congratulations and so sorry for the horrendous time you must have had last year. Just a really quick post from me to say that you've definitely come to the right place and are now surrounded by women in very similar situations to yourself, as well as success stories and new babies after previous traumas. I've just come through my nuchal scan and can still hardly believe my 'average' reading (1.5mm), after a 4.5mm nuchal reading on my first pregnancy last year (2nd miscarried - I'm now on number 3). GinaFB is a couple of days behind me. And there are plenty more behind us either TTC or early in pregnancy with scans coming up. We'll be very happy to hold your hand through all this so welcome. x

Hello Rachel, you've certainly come to the right place. There are a few of us here all going through the same thing, at a similar stage of pregnancy.

What you say of your feelings toward this pregnancy rings true with me. I'm 10 weeks now, having gone through a very similar thing to you in Feb this year. It's so hard to imagine a happy outcome when we've been through what we have. It seems a bit too much like tempting fate. But Poot and Gina have just had good nuchal scans, and there are healthy thread babies (some already here and some about to arrive) that show us that it is possible, and that's why this thread is so great.

Do you have a date in the diary yet for your scan? Mine is 10th Aug and time seems to have ground to a halt...

Thanks. I have really tried to hide from how I am feeling about it, but with other people who have been through and are going through the same thing I feel able to be more open.

I had a dating scan at 8 weeks last week and that was fine but they can't tell anything then other than that you are pregnant and you've got your dates right.

I have an appointment with the gynecologist next week at 10 weeks and he will then book the dreaded nuchal scan. The gynecologist was lovely when I spoke to him on the phone and was very understanding about how worried I am, but he couldn't do anything for me other than say, well we'll have a chat at 10 weeks and then we'll fix an appointment for you to come for the scan.

I know I am going to be more and more anxious the closer it gets. I remember before I went for my 12 week scan last time I was so positive and excited but almost immediately they saw images the lady said "I can already see the neck is very thick". This time I know I'm practically going to have my eyes closed when the screen goes live.

Oh my goodness! I've just got my blood results back and somehow my newly adjusted combined risk is now 1:7900!!! I'll take those odds. Certainly better than 1:4.

1:7900!!! I just can't believe it. I really might actually be pregnant with an actual baby. Now there's a scary thought....

Hope all's well with everyone else. xxx

Wow, that's pretty good odds innit? Good for you!

Just popping on quickly as I realised that I'd not answered Mistabel's question about the ticks. Sorry to read about your traumatic experience, it must've really put the wind up you! I think animals suffer from ticks here too but possibly more in the country and maybe just in hot weather. I've never experienced them on any of our cats but I'm a city girl now and was in the London suburbs before. They don't look very nice from what I've seen. Not what you want to find on your bubba. Glad all's well with her now.

Welcome to Rachel, this is the perfect place for mutual support and empathy.

I'm being really rubbish at keeping up with what's going on at the moment so apologise to everyone if I forget scans and what have you. I'm still finding it quite hard to read about the journey I was hoping to share with all the newly pregnant ladies here. It's funny, I kind of felt ok about it all when it first happened but I feel quite sad at the moment and also completely frustrated to be back in the "limbo" zone. Also fed up that I am still thicker around the waist, riddled with horrible acne and my eyelashes have gone all thin and stupid - all reminders of where I was a few weeks ago and where I am now. Also feeling pretty scared about what lies ahead.

Sorry for the moan. Hope all's well with all of you.

Katie, I'm very jealous of you living down there - even though I love London, I do have a soft spot for Hove as I spent so many of my formative years there.

Poot - what relief! Those odds are good. With DD I think my odds were around half that. So yes, you may actually be pregnant with an actual baby!

Rachel - sorry that you are sharing the journey that so many of us have been on, it's so sad that the joy of being pregnant becomes mixed with so much fear and trepidation. It really helps to share your fears on here, especially as scans loom (thinking esp of Catlady here...). My story is that I lost my baby DD this time last year to Patau's, picked up at my booking scan. I became pregnant again around 2 months later, and had around 5 scans, each was nerve-wracking. But now I have a month-old DD, so despite my fears it went well this time. I really hope all goes well for you and all the others on here too...

Better go, that month-old DD is wanting me! xx

Oh kittens - I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling a bit pants, although not altogether surpised. Even after going through only half of what you've been through, I was feeling really crap before getting pregnant again this time. And bemoaning the baby weight when there was no sign of the babies. Not sure if I mentioned it on here, but I (briefly!) started running again and it made such an enormous difference. The exercise itself really perked me up, it did begin to shift some of the offending waistline, and I just generally felt a bit more like I was taking control of at least that little corner of my life. Running might not be your thing (but I really do recommend it!), but if you can manage to squeeze in any kind of high-ish intensity exercise, then it might well go a little way towards giving you a lift. There's a lot to be said for the power of endorphins. I think you're due to treat yourself a bit honey - manicure? pedicure? massage? A bit of YOU time, as distraction from the awfulness of limboland. xxxxx

Hello all I am new here, having posted a post on my own thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/1011115-Can-T18-happen-again-I-am-so-scared'POOT' recommended I come here as some of you lovely ladies are apparently at the same stage as me.

I lost my baby girl at just under 14 weeks just before Christmas (16.12.09) to T18 Edwards, and now pregnant again 9w+4. I'm having a CVS and scan on 12 August and cannot focus on anything except that and just praying and praying that when that scan is done all is good and the consultant doesnt again switch off the monitor with bad news...... I so want my little 'bean' inside me to be well and healthy

RushingRachel reading your post is like reading about me, I am exactly where you are now, but our DD was diagnosed with T18 Edwards and nonviable, the same thing the screen showed severe abnormalities and was then switched off, thena CVS and within 72 hours I was no longer pregnant.

My 11+4w scan is booked for 12 August and I will have heart palpitations watching that screen even if I can dare to look at it I am also having a CVS at the same time and have fear of a MC - it's so hard to think of anything except this dreaded day, which as you say "time has stood still"

At least you, me and others are not alone - thank God for this thread it is giving me hope and removing me from the grey colour I have been living for the past few weeks!
:-)

Hello Gooldy, so sorry to hear about your baby girl. You are in the right place. There is so much support on this thread it's wonderful, vital in fact in those early isolating weeks where you can't talk about your pregnancy for fear of something going wrong again.

There's a few of us at around the same stage. I'm 10 weeks now and my scan is the same weeks as yours. Earlier this year we lost a baby boy to T21 and fetal hydrops. Like you, it was a whirlwind from scan to CVS and then the awful termination. It's hard to imagine going back into that scan room and receiving good news, but others on here have and are now progressing in healthy pregnancies or enjoying their little ones. I try to think of that when I'm sitting here in sheer terror at the prospect of a repeat of last time...

Welcome to the thread Gooldy xx

Crazycatlady thank you for your kind words and it's justa comfort knowing that 'say you' are exactly where I am now and that I am not alone - I am so glad I found this thread it really does help.

I hope so much that you and ME both get good news in just over a week's time I can't go through it all again - fingers crossed and everything else that matters!

x

Thanks for your message LittlePoot. I'm not much of a one for exercise I'm afraid and struggle to run for a bus, I must confess! I also have rather troublesome feet so not sure if I would get on with running. I might try to go swimming tomorrow though if I can motivate myself.

Only 3 weeks until my appointment, which I think is also when my period is due again, so depending on the news I will probably start TTC in about a month or so. I think I may now be in a minority on this thread! Everyone seems to either be pregnant or have a newborn on this thread now. Mimsy, all being well, I'm counting on you to be my TTC buddy!

Yep Kittens, I'll be your buddy! I will be needing some motivation.

I am going for an ERPC tomorrow - been 3 weeks now since the scan and still no bleeding. So thought it was time to get this over with.

Gooldy - welcome to the thread. I hope I can offer you some reassurance. My first pregnancy was T18, discovered at my booking scan and confirmed by CVS.

My second pregnancy resulted in my lovely DS, now 22 months. I had scans at 8, 12, 16 and 20 weeks, and all were fine. The 12 week scan was very detailed, the Consultant spent lots of time with us and was so happy with what she saw, we decided not to have the CVS we had been offered. I was pretty nervous but they seemed so confident and explained everything such that I felt confident too.

I hope that your scan rolls around soon and all is well.

We are having a bit of trouble with TTC again - had a couple of miscarriages, I think these are more to do with the fact that I am 40, plus a little bad luck too.

Anyway I hope we can keep your spirits up. x

Oh, good luck tomorrow Mimsy. 3 weeks is a bit of a wait isn't it? I think it's best to have an ERPC, if for no other reason than to get your cycle back on track asap. Although your hormones are probably still a bit confused too so it would be helpful to get on track to settling those down as well. How are you feeling emotionally? We are the same age by the way which may explain some of our mutual bad luck. I get bombarded by well meaning friends and family telling tales of friends well into their 40s having successful pregnancies from which I should take heart, but I do believe that everyone has their own luck regardless of statistics.

Welcome to Gooldy too. You have found a good place to share your experiences here.

Thank you MIMSYSTARR you aghve given me hope, mine wil be an 11 week scan with the consultant and I so hope all is well, I wish I could go now and get baby checked but at 10 weeks it can all look OK (like mylast time ) then at 12 it can all go wrong.....fingers crossed I will keep you posted. I too want to be on here saying "my 2nd pregnancy resulted in my DD or DS......"

Hi all, had the ERPC on Friday and went well. Bleeding settled very quickly and no pain at all. Wish I had done it sooner this time. Wasn't at all like the termination, everybody was really nice to me.

I have to go back though, because they saw something there which they want to biopsy under local anaesthetic. Haven't got a date for that yet, hope it is soon. They were reassuring that it is probably benign, and didn't look too worried, so I'll take my cues from that.

Thanks, Kittens I feel OK, just sort of wrung out. I get that encouragement too from lots of people, and they are quite right. My Mum had my sister at 42, she was the 6th child, with 4 MCs along the way. So I think it can be just a hard slog for some of us, and we will get there if we put enough years into it!! Just wish I had met my DH sooner... (not that we are aiming for 6 kids mind!)

I wonder what is happening with AllStars??? If you read this, have been thinking about you. x