Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

:-( Sorry to hear about your mastitis Katie. Rotten! Hope the antibiotics get a move on and do their job.

I would love to reply and say hello to everyone but my brain has gone into meltdown. I don't know how I'm going to plough through another 3 long days and super early starts

Stunt dogs in on Friday. Disappointingly, despite the label, they are not actually performing stunts but merely sitting on a sofa. Still, it's nice having animals at work. There's a cute little dog in the studio as it is who has been very friendly.

Love to all x

Hi Katie - sorry to hear that bf has been a pain for you too. I've had mastitis in the past and it's rotten. Has the blocked duct (source of the infection) cleared? I had a blocked duct this time but fortunately got it sorted before it got infected; unfortunately the best way to clear a blocked duct is for the baby to feed, even if it's sore. I also did a fair bit of expressing at the start and it didn't seem to affect Josie's interest in feeding from me directly. Expressing is very tiring if you are using a manual pump; NCT sometimes run a service where you can hire a hospital-grade pump (some hospitals do this too) and they are both more effective and quicker, if this helps you... really hope you get it sorted soon but I'm glad Felix is being an angel .

Mimsy - glad the cousins are having a nice time, hope your DS isn't picking up tips from the boys on how they should rule the roost!

Better go, sorry not to say more to everyone. xx

Hello everyone, gosh it?s so busy in here...

Katie, sorry to hear about the mastitis. No experience of this but I heard it?s very painful, so I hope the antibiotics will kick in soon. I can?t believe Felix is 12 days already, although a cliche time really flies.

Sarah, welcome, and congratulations on your pregnancy. It is a worrying time, but I think congratulations are in order in here... I terminated at 22 weeks due to brain anomalies, and I am now 13+4 and of course terrified. I am also one who opted for continuity of care, although back in Feb/Mar, when I lost my baby, I swore I would never go back to the same doctor. I didn?t like the way he broke the bad news to us, but a few months later, when we went to see him again to discuss the postmortem results, he seemed a completely different person, much more empathetic, and offered to scan me in a future pregnancy, also offered me an additional scan at 17 weeks. So I am ?happy? now to go back to see him, and also he is an opinion leader, so I feel I am in good hands.

Rachel, I know what you mean about the result. It is brilliant though. I am thinking the same sometimes, that there is always that 1, and no guarantee, but really this is the best we can hope for under the circumstances. Going back to my conversation with my doctor, he said there is no 100% guarantee for any pregnancy in this world, there is always a tiny risk. So I think as long as they rule out any visible anomalies we are in the same boat as any other woman (this is very much an attempt to reassure myself as well, you all know I am a paranoid wreck and anxiety dominates my life at the moment).

Mimsy, mamma mia indeed :) ! I will be keeping my fingers crossed for TTC and hope that the aspirin will make a difference. I would love to do yoga, I used to, but there is nothing in my (rubbish) town, and I am too lazy to get into the car and go for a late evening session, half an hour drive away on side roads.

Kittens, I could do stunts on the sofa :) Especially that I seem to be spending half my life on the sofa now anyway... how is your back?

I am pretty much in the same place, but no point moaning about it, I am not sure it could be any different now. Despite the fear, I find myself desperately hoping that things will be ok and then I feel even more afraid.

Anyway, same old, same old... xxxx

I forgot to say: Cantdo, if you're reading, I hope you are ok. And of course Allstars...

morning all!

well, i have super convinced myself i felt a little movement last night (havent felt it since) so ithad put me in a better mood. but its nearlt the weekend which means its nearly tuesday which is when my scan is, and altho i know that things could go wrong after that too this scan is the biggie for me as its when i found out last time. i feel like if its looking good i will be able to breathe a sigh of relief... Im sure i will be nervous again after but i cant even imagine getting the past scan.

coffee hopefully we can be baby buddies, I pray we both make it right to the end with healthy babies. :)
My Dr wasnt exactly lovey dovey, he just was very straight with me, which i appreciated and supported my ever changing decisions. He was for me the best dr I could have had. And i keep thinking that it will be nice for him to give someone good news for once, (maybe??) since he constantly gives bad news.

katie sorry about your mastitis, hope you feel better soon.

kittens what do you do?

I am a make up artist Sarah. This week I am working on s set of TVs ads for a Northern Irish bank. I work mostly in advertising but also do lots of weddings too.

Coffee, my back isn't too bad this week as I have proper make up chairs but on Saturday I have a bride and 5 bridesmaids to do and the chairs at hotels are always really unhelpfully low so I am anticipating lots of awkward bending resulting in being in much pain again by the end of the day!

I am dreaming of a lie in on Sunday.

X

Thank you for the well wishes and advice everyone! I think there has been a definite improvement already - much less red and sore today which is good.

The reason i'm not breast feeding is that my nipples and still very badly cracked and i need them to heal a bit more before i attempt to get him latched on again - i guess i could try now but i'm worried about undoing all the hard work so am going to wait a couple of days and go to the breast feeding clinic where they will help me when it's all a bit less painful - fingers crossed it works out!

Anyway have a lovely bank holiday one and all! OH goes back to work on tuesday so going to make the most of our next few days as a little family xxx

kittens that is so cool, i really would love to be a makeup artist (she says while sitting at her desk in an office doing accounts) Ive always wanted to get into it. where do you live?

I used to be a secretary. I changed career at 24. Bring a make up artist is much more enjoyable but it's incredibly competitive and a very feast and famine lifestyle so it has its negative side too.

I live in islington Sarah, how about you?

i live in Hendon.

I would like to work on a consession stand and do private stuff as a side thing really, but i heard it hard to get on to.

where di you study make up? Im 24 now! suppose its never too late!

Beauty counter work is not very well paid. Some of the artist brands like illamasqua pay reasonably well but you need to be a trained mua to work for them. Most consumer brands pay about £50 per day before tax which isn't great. I used to work for Mac, I think they pay about £7.50/hr now (used to be a bit more).

I studied at a place called Brushstroke in Shepperton studios in film and tv make up. There are a lot of courses now which are better though. When I trained 16 yrs ago there was less choice. You do learn quite a lot working for a brand like Mac though. Only thing which may be tricky for you, I don't know how strict you are, but most make up retailers require you to work on Saturdays. One of my good friends who is Israeli worked on the counter at fenwicks at Brent x and used to get a lot of abuse from the Jewish customers for working on Saturday.

Hi everyone x

Hope you're all well. Just popping my head around the door to say hello and to let you know that after testing on Tuesday, it finally looks like I'm pregnant after trying for nine cycles after losing our lovely Gracie.

Naturally, I am swaying between excitement and shitting rather large bricks - but for the time being, I'm trying to be as positive as I can. Here's hoping it's third time lucky, eh?

Congratulations again to all the other ladies from the cottage next door who have now had their babies. Fingers crossed I'll be joining you all in May.

(And in between now and then, I'm sure I'll be driving you all mad with questions and worries!)

Much love
Viv xx

Congratulations Viv. Fingers crossed for you. xx

Great news Viv, congratulations! So much to take in, such mixed emotions! Here's to hoping that our luck will change and next year we'll all come home with healthy baby in our arms! xxxx

I meant healthy babies, of course...

Yay super news Viv i'm so happy for you! Congrats

hi viv

kittensso i would like to work for somewhere like mac.. after doing a course but i wouldnt work on a saturday... might be a problem. Brent x is my local haunt, i kinda live at the mac counter there!!!

so, im 12 weeks today and i thought i would be far more excited... but actually am pishing myself for the scan on tues. I have my booking in app tomorrow. Do you think they would listen to the hb if i ask? is it too early?

Morning all. I've been a bit quiet lately - sorry. Have lurked and thought of you but just not had a whole lot to add!

Welcome to Sarah and lovely to see you back Viv - so many congratulations to you both on your news. Sarah - my midwife was happy to have a go at listening for the heartbeat any time from 10 weeks, but when she saw me this time at 11 weeks, she couldn't actually find it. 12 week scan showed all was fine (I'm now 17 weeks), but it wasn't exactly the reassurance I had been looking for.... So do ask if you'd like, but just bear in mind that not hearing it doesn't mean its not there - more that little dot wasn't facing the right way or was too busy swimming around to be found.

So, another round of scans coming up then - nerve wracking stuff. My fingers will remain tightly crossed over the next couple of weeks. I've got one at 18 1/2 weeks so a week on Tuesday so my anxiety levels are rising once again. I'm generally feeling much more settled, and much more like I'm actually going to make it this time. But that's giving way a bit to the anxiety as the scan approaches....Hopefully that will be enough to put my mind at as much ease as it will reach. I'm seeing my midwife tomorrow for a check up so am hoping she will have more luck finding heart beat then. Although I think I felt the first little tiny fluttery kicks this week - two days in a row I felt a few little bubbly feelings at the bottom of my tum! Hopefully little kicks, otherwise a very bizarre stomach condition....

Katie - really sorry about the mastitis and all - hope its continuing to get better. Breast is best is all very well, but from all the stories I've heard from you guys, it really doesn't seem like boobs are well designed to cope with the onslaught! Good luck getting back to it, if that's what you decide to do.

Kittens - very disappointed about the stunt dogs! I was expecting jumping through flaming hoops or something. Sitting on a sofa doesn't sound like a particularly challenging stunt.... But at least their makeup will be flawless. x

Well, I'm making up for my silence with a giant post! Love to coffee, gina, mishta, numpty, can't, allstars, wombat, crazycat, mimsy, rachel and everybody else I'm forgetting to mention. And hope everyone has a fantastic (and dry!) bank holiday weekend. xxxx

have my booking in appointment in 2 hours. Dont know why but i dont want to go, i find it hard enough to acknowledge that im pg in RL im scared to sit down and actually have a a meeting about it.

Oh Sarah sweetie - sorry I didn't see your message sooner! I hope you were ok going to your booking appointment. I know what you mean - it forces you to get your head out of the sand when you have these appointments, but its another step on the pathway and a milestone to tick off. Hope all went well. x

sarahmia hope the booking in appt goes ok for you. It does make things feel more real. My MW found the heartbeat at 9 weeks I was really impressed and it was very reassuring! However as Poot says don't be worried if she can't find it, my MW was actually astonished that she'd managed it!! I like you have asked for the same consultant, infact I insisted that I saw him again. The way he dealt with us during such a painful time was so professional and compassionate. Infact he is doing my scan for my next week, his secretary called to say he wanted to do the scan instead of the head sonogropher in the FMU....

Poot, how are you?! I have my scan on Wed so not really far ahead of you. I will be 18 +1.... I'm getting very nervous too.... the waiting is the worst part if you ask me!

Katie that sounds so sore, I'm sorry your still in so much pain I really hope that things improve and you are feeling less sore soon. xx

Mimsy, good luck on the TTC, I will be keeping everything crossed for you!! I love yoga, I have a dvd but have found it hard to get motivated as I feel so tired, I'm sure someone said that the 2nd trimester you had more energy!! I am having sessions with a maternity reflexologist every other week and its fantastic. I come away feeling totally calm and very positive. Am off tonight and then I have another session on Tuesday night!

Also I have a disciplinary meeting to go through next week and possibly a sacking with the "porn" employee, not looking forward to that at all.

Apologies for the long post, love to everyone that I've not mentioned but am thinking of you all! Have a good weekend xxxxxx

In case PeanutHead is lurking, big hug. Here to chat if you want. x

Congratulations VivCliquot!

Sarahmia, how did you go? x

hi all...

so, i went for my appointment and go tout of the car only to relaise that i had left my purse at home so couldnt pay for my parking ticket. So, i ran inside to tell them i wasnt coming and to change the appointment then popped my head into the FMU to triple check that my app is booked in for tues morn and i bumped into my midwife from last time. Was so bizzarre to see her again but in a really wierd way i feel more reassured. She was so happy to see me and gave me a big hug. I told her that im terrfied about tues and she said i shouldnt worry and that everything will be fine. Ridiculous that she reassured me, even tho everyone says that. I just trust her i suppose.

Cant help thinking tho, why did that happen? why did i leave my purse at home and have to re book for after my scan? Maybe g-d saving me from myself?

gina what hosp you in?

thanks poot

Hi all. sarah fingers crossed for you tomorrow. It is a difficult feeling and I was exactly the same, didn't even acknowledge to myself I was pregnant really, let alone tell anyone or want to be treated like it.

Talking of telling people, I finally gotr around to telling my mother the news at the weekend. Have been putting it off as she has been sick ... anyway I asked her categorically not to tell anyone until after 20 weeks and what has she done? Gone around ringing practically everyone she knows. This is one of the reasons I didn't tell her in the first place, last time she had told everyone from day 1 and now I feel as half my home town knows my medical history! I am so cross with her. It's really typical!

Grrrrrr.

Gina wish my gynecologist would offer me an in between scan. I have another check up next week, but no scan until 20 weeks. And I am coming through the bit where I am pleased with the results of the 12 week and beginning to feel the need for a bit more reassurance!

Coffee hope you're feeling a bit more upbeat. I've booked a holiday to stop myself going on a downward spiral so holiday immediately prior to 20 week scan to keep my mind off it. Like you, I've almost moped in the past week (my mum has contributed to that) and don't want to go there.